River’s tone was flippant, but my stomach tensed as his grim meaning sank in. Had Lucas known River had planned to harm himself? Was that why Lucas had been so frantic to find him quickly?
Keeping his voice even, Deputy Juan asked, “You were going to hurt yourself?”
River winced. “It sounds so dramatic when you put it like that.”
I wasn’t sure if River actually had intended to hurt himself or not, but a psych evaluation was mandatory at this point. If he was threatening self-harm, there was no way around that. He was definitely disconnected from reality. Of that, there was little doubt. He needed professional help. Whether he would be able to get better or not, I wasn’t sure. I hated agreeing with Lucas, but prison probably wasn’t the best place for River. No matter how much I personally wanted River to suffer, he needed help.
Deputy Juan seemed uneasy with the direction the conversation had gone. He glanced toward the two-way glass. “Do you still want to harm yourself, River?” he asked.
“No.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes. I was in a very dark place.” River hesitated. “But Lucas and I had a very good talk while searchingfor Maxwell. We talked about things that we probably should have talked about ages ago. I was forced to acknowledge that if I hurt myself, I’d be hurting Lucas. I’d never want to hurt Lucas. Never.”
“I see.”
River cleared his throat. “Lucinda’s death destroyed my family. It was so shocking to lose her like that. She was the most beautiful person. For something that unfair to happen to her, it just made the whole world seem gray.”
“How did kidnapping Dr. Thornton fix that?” Deputy Juan frowned.
“Oh, I don’t think there is anything that can fix my broken family now. But I really hoped that if I could just get Maxwell toadmitwhat he’d done… then maybe I could let go.” He pinched the skin between his eyes, as if in pain. “I… I desperately want to let go…”
“I’m sorry your family suffered so much,” Deputy Juan said quietly.
Nodding, River drank some more water. His hand trembled as he set the bottle back on the table. “Do you know how long I’ll have to be in prison?”
Wincing, Deputy Juan looked uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, River. I don’t have any details like that for you.”
“I’ve confessed. Will that count in my favor?”
“It might. It’s not up to me.”
River turned his head slowly and glanced at the two-way mirror. “Are you there, Royce?”
I stiffened. He probably wanted me to come into the room because he’d addressed me. But the last thing I wanted was to be face-to-face with River. I still struggled with extreme anger toward him. If we werein the same room, I couldn’t trust myself to hold my resentment in the way I’d need to. It might be too tempting to wrap my hands around his scrawny neck and squeeze.
River stood, and he wandered over to the glass. He placed one pale, slender hand on the two-way mirror and leaned forward. His dark eyes were so intense I almost felt like he could see me. “Don’t hate me, Royce. Please.”
You don’t ask for much, do you?
Gritting my teeth, I stayed silent. If he’d attacked me, maybe I’d have been able to forgive more easily. But he’d gone after the person I loved most in this world, and the anger still burned in my gut. In the blink of an eye, I could have lost Max, simply because River needed someone to blame.
Deputy Juan stood. “River, why don’t you come back and take your seat?”
River said softly, “In a minute.”
As I gazed through the glass into River’s glittering eyes, I truly got the feeling he was in his own world. That was what made him unpredictable. Dangerous. But he was also a pathetic figure. As much as I personally wanted to bring the full vengeance of the law down on him, I felt pity for his family. I felt sorry for Lucas. I even felt some measure of pity for River himself because he was obviously lost in his grief.
Trying to tap into my better side, I decided I’d push aside my personal feelings and suggest the lesser crime of unlawful restraint in my report. I’d take pity on River and those who loved him. If the DA agreed, River would get the help he needed, and the punishment he deserved, without going overboard.
I rapped my knuckles against the glass, indicating to Juan that the interview could terminate. Then I leftthe little room, frustrated I wouldn’t get the revenge I craved, but at peace knowing I was doing the right thing.
Chapter Eleven
Maxwell
When I finally woke, the house was silent. My body was stiff as I climbed from the bed and changed into jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. When I entered the kitchen, I was surprised to see Girdy sitting there, playing Wordle on her phone.
