I felt like I was imprisoned in a Snickers bar as I froze, trying to think what I should do. My heart was pounding so hard I felt nauseous. There was something about the impersonal nature of my situation that was gut-wrenching. I couldn’t reason with the earth. It was just doing its thing, and I was quite literally trapped in the middle. Mother Nature wouldn’t give two shits about burying me alive.
Growling with frustration, I somehow managed to get my left leg free. The price I paid, of course, was that my right side sank deeper into the sludge. Still, I felt like I was on the right track. It was slow going, but I was makingsomeprogress. Stretching my left footforward, I leaned my weight toward that foot and tugged my right leg out of the mud. My left leg sank again because it was holding all of my body weight.
I let out an exhausted groan and stopped to catch my breath. I was horribly winded. My muscles were trembling, and my mouth was so dry I could barely swallow. I wasn’t sure how I was sweating, considering how thirsty I was. How did I have any water left in my body? I licked my dry, cracked lips and prepared to pull my left leg out of the mud again.
I stopped what I was doing when I heard a weird sound above me. Straining my ears, I could just make out a sort of muffled rumble. It was a familiar sound, but I couldn’t quite place it at first. I listened intently, and excitement jolted through me when I recognized it as a helicopter. Was it a rescue helicopter? Were they looking for me? I couldn’t tell exactly how far away it was. If it flew directly over me, would the pilot be able to see me waving? What if it didn’t fly directly over me but just nearby? Would the pilot see the sinkhole? I had no idea what the sinkhole I was in looked like from the air. Maybe there were sinkholes all over this area, and it wouldn’t even catch the pilot’s eye.
One thing was for sure: the sound of the helicopter spurred me on. I was too far down in the hole. I needed to get closer to the top if I was gonna make myself visible. Yanking my left leg out of the mud, I tried to clamber up the pile, cursing when my right leg sank yet again. The progress I made for the amount of energy I was expending was nowhere near even. I’d barely begun to climb, and I was already physically spent.
I tried again, grabbing onto rocks and trying to pull myself up while also pushing with my legs. Thattechnique was useless because my hands simply sank into the mud. There wasn’t anything to grab on to because the mud was too fluid. Panting, I hung my head, trying to gather my strength. I knew that dehydration was making me weak, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I had to keep going.
The helicopter sounded like it was coming closer. Panic clawed at me because I was still too far down in the pit. I started trying to climb faster, but the frantic kicking motion of my legs created a dangerous situation. My entire body began to sink into the mud, and I stopped moving abruptly. Both my legs were trapped, and the mud was up to my waist. I stayed as still as possible, breathing hard. If I sank deeper, the pressure of the mud against my chest could suffocate me.
I heard the helicopter coming, but I didn’t dare move. Even waving could potentially cause me to sink deeper. I gritted my teeth against the despair washing over me. Help was right there, but I had absolutely no way to get their attention without killing myself in the process.
It was agony listening to the chopper coming closer, knowing I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I stared up at the top of the hole, waiting to see the helicopter fly over. When the black bird came into view, my eyes burned with tears.
So near and yet so far.
It took every ounce of self-control not to wave. I kept hoping the helicopter would slow and hover, indicating they’d spotted me. But they flew right over, no hesitation. My heart sank, and I simply stared up at the top of the sinkhole. Disappointment wasn’t a strong enough word for what I felt.
Trying to save myself, I’d made the situation worse. Despair surged through me as I continued to stare up at the sky, willing the helicopter to return. Not only had I failed at getting the attention of the helicopter, but I was now trapped waist-deep in the slope. Did I dare try to slowly extricate myself?
I had to try. I couldn’t just stay stuck in this mud, hoping for a miracle. I tried carefully moving my legs, but they seemed solidly wedged in the muck. I tried again, this time gently wiggling my body and trying to use my elbows to lift me up. It didn’t work, and I actually sank another few inches. I closed my eyes against the overwhelming sense of hopelessness.
Royce’s smiling face came to me. I could see him so clearly: His warm coffee-colored eyes, crinkling at the corners, and the curve of his full lips. I knew he was looking for me. I could sense it. I could sense his desperation, and it almost made things worse. I was never going to see him again. The ache in my chest made breathing difficult. As heartbreaking as this moment was, I was grateful to have met Royce. Our time together had been brief, but at least I’d experienced what it felt like to love and be loved. Because of Royce, I’d finally understood what it meant to betrulyaccepted for who I was.
Agonizing though it was, I needed to accept my fate. I wasn’t going to make it. I’d tried my best, but it hadn’t been enough. That was just a fact. Trapped in this stinking hole, I was going to die alone, like I’d always feared I would.
Chapter Eight
Royce
TEXSAR arrived ready to rock ’n’ roll. They went to work immediately, putting on their gear and fanning out across the desert landscape so that they could search a wide area. I’d worked with them before and had always been impressed by their professionalism and resources. They were made up of dedicated volunteers who trained relentlessly at their own expense for disasters and emergency situations throughout Texas. They never charged individuals, local, or federal agencies for their services. They were an amazing group of people, and I felt grateful to have them at my disposal.
Despite TEXSAR’s arrival, I was an emotional basket case. I felt like a complete failure. I was sick to my stomach that I hadn’t found Max yet. I was letting him down when he needed me most. Last night, I’d been so certain I could track him down in the desert, but I’d lost him. I’d lost his trail, and now he was out there somewhere, suffering.
I hadn’t had time to really deal with River yet. I’d had Deputy Dusty take him back to the station. Lucas had tried to talk me out of putting the cuffs on River, but he’d dropped it when I’d given him a death glare. Arresting River wasn’t going to bring Max back, but all the same, it had felt real good slapping the cuffs on that snake.
I chugged some water, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. The wind was cold, and I was grateful the sun was out again. Up ahead, I heard the thwacking of the search and rescue chopper’s rotors as they searched the desert. We’d had a little storm cell move through a few hours ago, and I hoped Max had been able to find shelter.
My back hurt, and my legs were sore, but I couldn’t imagine how much worse it must be for Max. I’d spent the last twelve hours searching for any sign of him to no avail. The majority of that time, I’d been alone because I’d gone out ahead of the rest of the searchers. They were moving methodically, carefully searching every inch of ground. While I realized that was a good thing, it was too damn slow for me. I felt like a thoroughbred chomping at the bit. I had to get out ahead of the pack.
I heard footsteps approaching from the rear, and I glanced over my shoulder to find the leader of the TEXSAR group, Jack, coming up behind me.
He fell into step beside me. “How are you holding up?” he asked quietly. Jack was around my age, dark-haired, with empathetic gray eyes. He had a commanding air about him, but he wasn’t overbearing. He had just the right amount of assertiveness you needed in a leader.
“I’ve had better days.” My smile was strained.
“Yeah. I’m sure.” We walked in silence for a bit, and then he said, “We’ll find him. You need to believe that.”
“Trust me, I’m tryin’ to have faith,” I said gruffly. I really was trying to have hope, but it seemed weird to me that we still hadn’t located Max. We even had a chopper searching, and yet, nothing. I realized it was a big area, but really, how far could Max have gone? Itwas like he’d just disappeared off the face of the earth. I was bewildered by our lack of success. Every passing hour made me more scared for Max.
Jack said, “He probably sought shelter from the storm. I know I would have. That could be why the chopper doesn’t see him yet. Right?”
“Sure.”
“It hasn’t been that long. I realize to you it feels like an eternity, but from a purely survival aspect, he should still be okay. There’s still every reason to believe we’ll find him safe.”
