“Thanks Ethan. I appreciate it. I can take it from here if you’d like to go back out with everyone and enjoy yourself.”
“I’m enjoying myself just fine here. I’d like to help if I can.” He smiles, and it’s a little more genuine than his go to, over the top smile. I like the way it reaches his eyes and causes little crinkles in the corners of them.
“Your real smile is nice,” I say before I can think better of it. Immediately I wish I could take it back because he shuts down.
“I’m not faking it every other time I smile,” he grouses.
“I didn’t say you were. It’s just that sometimes when you smile, it feels like a barrier between you and everyone around you. I’m no stranger to pain and I see it in you when I look hard enough.” I take a deep breath when I realize I expelled all mine at the first sign of his frown. “I’m not trying to pry or anything. I know how upset I’d be if someone did that to me. I just meant that it’s nice to see you smile because you’re happy and not because you think you have to. I’m awkward and terrible so that’s how it translated. I’m sorry…” I ramble, only to get cut off with a calloused finger pressed to my lips.
“Calm down sweet pea. Ain’t no reason to work yourself up in a tizzy. I’m not upset. You just put something into perspective for me,” he says.
“What’s that?”
“That maybe the guys have been right about you all along.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm. Would you like to dance with me? It’s Friday after all.”
“There’s no music…”
“I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow…” he sings the sweet words of Rascal Flatts into my ears softly, reaching his hands down to my waist and shuffling me around my kitchen floor.
November twentieth has been my favorite day of the year for the last three years, and now I have memories to last me a lifetime to add to the list of reasons why.
I don’t stand a snow’s chance in hell at keeping my heart when these three are around. Moving here was either my best idea yet, or my worst. Only time will tell.
Thirty-Two
Goodbyes are always the hardest
Ethan
November 2020
Last night was one of the best, most painful moments of my life. Holding Aria close and singing to her felt so right, and yet it felt like a betrayal of epic proportions.
It shouldn’t. I don’t owe my memories anything. All they’ve ever done for me is cause me strife and misery. I’m not the same guy I was a year ago, or even a day ago. I’ve been letting the pain of my past hold me back for too long and it took one look in my eyes for Aria to see it when no one else could.
Everyone in this town see’s the tough guy, the happy-go-lucky guy, and the playboy. The guy who won’t commit to anything other than volunteering and the firehouse.
She saw through it to the real me, and it’s not a conversation either of us are ready to have, but I think we’re laying solid groundwork to get there. Her daughter’s a whole other story. That little black haired beauty with big blue eyes and a giant smile to match her mama’s captured my heart and I don’t even want it back. Hearing her little laugh gives me life.
Laying on my back in my bunk, I replay the thoughts of my Friday night dance with Aria. I think of the soft touch of her hands as they reached up and clasped around my neck. I think of her sweet pea scent and how it overwhelmed me in the best way. I think of her secret smiles and her love for her people. I think of how she puts her daughter first in every way.
Even if she doesn’t ever want more than friendship from any or all of us, we’ll be better men for knowing her. Of that I have no doubt.
My thoughts get interrupted by the high-pitched alarm, sounding off to let us know we need to get our asses in gear. I don’t waste time getting dressed and over to the truck and neither do my firehouse brothers.
“Where to, chief?” I ask, and the solemn look in his eye fills my heart with dread.
“You still on Everly Falls?”
“Yeah…” I say, dragging the word out. I’m not comprehending what’s going on until he says that we got a call about a house fire at two-zero-two Everly Falls Drive. Aria’s house.
“Fuck, no! Let’s go!” I scream, trying and failing to not lose my shit and let hysteria creep in as we jump in the truck and hit the road.
It’s the middle of the night. It also happens to be the first night Aria and Hadley are staying alone. I watched her from my window this morning as she said her tear filled goodbyes so I know that Niko, Tate, and Demi have all gone to the airport and are long gone by now.
