I’m not even sure what’s going on for a hot second, that is until Ethan blows out a heavy breath and averts his eyes to stare at his feet. Cooper stammers a little as he shoots me a panicked wide eyed look, like he’s trying to communicate something that I can’t grasp before I’ve barely been awake for a full minute. I look to Jace, who’s practically having a fit as he backs up and then pulls at the guys to do the same.
I’m left in place feeling perplexed enough that I start looking around in my own panic. When I look down, I see that hopping straight out of bed half asleep was a terrible decision. In my half asleep state, I forgot to grab a bathrobe and I’m giving these guys a free show which has made them as uncomfortable as I generally feel around them.
I feel like an asshole because these guys have gone out of their way since meeting me to be thoughtful and respectful. They’ve taken note of my oddities and defensive behavior around them and they’ve gone above and beyond to make sure I feel welcomed and accepted, despite my many flaws.
My outfit leaves exactly zero things to the imagination since I’m wearing nothing but a skintight white tank that has ridden all the way up, probably due to my stretching. My nipples are hard and visible through the thin fabric of my top. My belly is fully exposed, stretch marks and all. And to top it all off, I’m wearing a pair of boy short panties that I’ve had since high school. They’re not only giving me mad camel toe but are also covered in hearts and little Pepè Le Pew heads because I loved that disturbed little sycophantic skunk when I was younger.
Apparently, I developed an unhealthy sense of romanticism younger than I thought. Most people would see that cartoon and think, no means no. I saw it and thought, but look at how much he loves you? No. That shit is unhealthy. So toxic.Thanks mom, for bringing your twisted relationships into our home and creating that disturbing mentality.
If Hades could just rip open a portal in the earth and suck me straight into the underworld, I’d be eternally grateful. I can’t seem to stop embarrassing myself in front of these men. And now I’m sending all kinds of mixed signals. God, I’m a mess.
“Oh fuck. Hold on!” I yell, slamming the door in their faces and running back up the stairs to grab my old tattered bathrobe that I lived in while nursing Hadley for the first several months of her life. It’s not perfect, but I haven’t invested in clothes for myself since I had to update my wardrobe to fit Hadley in shirts and pants comfortably. Everything else is stuff that I wore in high school.
I hightail it back down the stairs and whip the door open, only to find Cooper and Ethan leaned up against the porch posts looking relaxed and completely at ease, like they’ve totally forgotten that they’ve seen me almost naked. I don’t know whether that’s appreciated or a hit to my self-esteem, though I wipe that thought away before I can think too hard on it because of course it doesn’t matter what they think about me or my body.
I look over and see Jace sitting on the porch swing with his head tipped back, eyes closed, and arms fanned out across the back, like he’s basking in the morning sun. It’s apparent to me that I’m not prepared for the scorching hotness of these three before I’ve had any coffee.
“Hey, hi, uh… good morning. Sorry, would you guys like to come in?”
“Sure, thanks.” Ethan takes the lead and moves to step inside the house, offering me a little wink that has my stomach clenching. He follows it up with a wince when he sees me grasp my bathrobe, which makes me think he didn’t mean it salaciously. It was probably a reflex for the guy that gives off the cocky playboy vibe. I’m still clutching my robe so tight that I think the fabric might tear, but I can’t keep myself from pulling it closer to my chest even after he’s passed me. My body has one distinct reaction to him and my mind has the total opposite. It’s never felt more strange to be me.
Cooper immediately picks up on my unease, though luckily he doesn’t sense that it’s partially because I’m turned on as much as I’m terrified. No thanks to my dream and sadistic desire to see them all naked and then run as far away from them as humanly possible. It’s fair to say that I’m beyond broken and if this continues, I may need to seek out a therapist. For now I’ll chalk it up to being deprived of real pleasure for so damn long—instead, being mistreated and called out constantly for being disgusting after birthing my daughter.
Without touching me or encroaching on my space, he squeezes by and reminds me to take a breath, “breathe in, count to three, breathe out. There you go. We can leave if you need us to.”
“No, it’s all right. Just wasn’t prepared for visitors so early.” I tell him, prompting a small huff of laughter from Jace who’s now up and standing at the doorway to come inside.
“Ari girl, it’s nine thirty in the morning. It’s not early,” Jace says, bewilderment and amusement coloring his features.
“No offense to you guys, but it’s Sunday.” I state, like what I mean is obvious. They don’t seem to get it though, so I elaborate. “Fridays are for great friends, delicious drinks, and dancing like nobody’s watching. Saturdays are made for wanderlust and adventure. Sundays are the day for sleeping in, mimosas at brunch, and family dinners that fuel your soul. Nine o’clock in the morningisearly.”
They all look at me like they’re a little awestruck for a second, and then swiftly get into action. Ethan starts rummaging through my cupboards, Jace starts looking at the kitchen countertops in finite detail, and Cooper looks in my fridge as if he’s about to whip up some breakfast. He won’t find much in there unfortunately. We’ve been mostly living on takeout since the girls got here.
“Have you had coffee yet? Do you drink coffee?” Ethan asks, apparently looking around for my coffee pot.
“Oh, you mean life fuel? Yes, I drink it. I just haven’t unpacked my pot yet. Most of our things are still in a little storage unit I found in the next town over when I first got here. I didn’t know how long it would take to find a place and then I figured I should wait until it’s fixed up.” I explain unnecessarily. “We’ve been driving into town to hit up the little coffee shop over on center street.” I shrug, yawning again.
“This is unacceptable. We need to get you caffeinated so we can talk to you about a little idea we came up with.” Ethan exclaims. How he’s more put out by my lack of coffee than I am, I’ll never know. Maybe he was hoping for a cup himself?
“No offense guys, but I don’t like the sound of that. Your generosity knows no bounds and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m terrible at accepting it.”
“How about you let us feed you and the girls brunch and make you coffee and mimosas at our place, then we’ll all talk and if you don’t like our idea, you can just say no.” Cooper counteroffers, shutting the fridge door.
Just when I’m about to say no, the girls in question walk in offering their opinions on the matter. Most importantly, the fact that they want coffee and mimosas, while Hadley says, “Hungwy, mama! I want food.” and the matter is settled whether I want it to be or not.
“Perfect. We’ll meet you at our house in like fifteen, maybe twenty minutes then?” Jace asks, and all I can do is nod a yes in response because words are no longer my friends. They’ve all failed me. “See you soon girls.” He winks, then they all walk away, leaving me standing there like an idiot in my kitchen.
Twenty-Five
Women are magic. Full stop
Jace
November 2020
“Did anyone notice if any of those girls were vegetarians?” Cooper asks us, and I’m a little surprised that he didn’t notice Aria nibbling on a turkey sandwich yesterday when she thought no one was paying attention. It’s clear he’s smitten with the girl. I can’t say I blame him either.
“Nah, they all ate turkey sandwiches yesterday. You lunkheads would know that if you’d paid more attention to the woman who’d served us lunch since she’d only done it as a gesture of gratitude for getting that playset for Hadley. I thought she’d fight us harder on it to be honest. I guess the key to her heartstrings is little miss Sunshine, not to mention that thing is freaking awesome.” I say, only half joking that they didn’t pay Aria enough attention. I can tell she doesn’t like it. She’s a strange one, bouncing back and forth between quiet strength and skittishness, but I like her.
