He managed a smirk. “A memento for you. You can thread it on a chain around your neck and think of me.” He’d meant to be sarcastic, but the moment became oddly fraught, emotionally intense. One last kiss, he told himself, and impulsively closed the distance between them, kissing her with sweet longing. Then breaking the contact, lips and magic both, firmly and forever. “Crawl, poppet,” he instructed. “I’m fine now and we’re not out of here yet.”
Wrapping her fingers around the device, she nodded and crawled back to their bag of supplies, slipping the brass instrument inside. He followed, making himself move with a semblance of vigor. They’d still have to trek across the wilderness and somehow evade pursuit.
He could sleep when Selly was home safe.
~ 21 ~
Nic was getting better at thinking like herself while in silver phoenix form. The strangely globular vision still disoriented her, but only if she thought about it too much. Fortunately, her wings were tiring enough that she could only think about staying in the air. It had been difficult enough to talk Gabriel into riding her to House El-Adrel for the negotiations. She wasn’t going to give him any reason to feel bad about the decision.
The one good aspect of Gabriel being out of his mind with impatience to get to Selly was that he’d capitulated to the idea of putting her in alternate form and flying to El-Adrel much more easily than he would have under any other circumstances. Even if Nic hadn’t wanted to experiment with this—just in case she needed to fly him to safety on short notice some day—she’d been reluctant to trust such a critical negotiation to Ratsiel couriers. There was no direct proof that House Ratsiel read the missives entrusted to their communication wizards, but everyone in the Convocation generally assumed Ratsiel knew their business.
It’s what they all would do, in Ratsiel’s position.
So, it came to be that Nic soared toward House El-Adrel on sore and tired wings, Gabriel on her back alternating between petting her, worrying about her and Selly in equal measures, and practicing the speech to Lady El-Adrel that they’d crafted. Just as she began her descent to land before the massive gates in the wall surrounding House El-Adrel, however, Gabriel suddenly tensed. With an oath, he swung about on her back, nearly unseating himself and unbalancing her.
“Selly!” he exclaimed. “Nic—I sense her. And Jadren, too, that duplicitous fuck. They’re not in the house. They’re outside it.”
So much for the longed-for setting down on the ground to rest her wings. She circled, hoping to convey inquiry. It would really help to know which direction she should go.
“Sorry, my heart. That way.” He pointed to the woods on the far side of the house. “Can you make it? I promise we’ll set down there.”
She should’ve known he’d sense her exhaustion, connected as they were. Hopefully she’d never have to hide something important from him. Warbling a reply she hoped sounded cheerful, she made a wide circle around the house environs. No way was she flying straight over it. That was just begging to be shot down by one of the scary-looking mechanisms studding the blindingly bright rooftop of the clockwork house. She’d visited House El-Adrel a few times, with her parents and with school friends, so she had reason to know how well-defended it was.
“Just a bit farther, that direction,” Gabriel murmured, stroking the sleek feathers of her neck. “Just a bit longer and Jadren will pay for what he’s done. They’re bonded,” he added. “I can sense it easily.”
She hummed a question, wanting to convey caution. Not having words wasn’t ideal.
“Fastest way to sever that bond is death,” Gabriel said, as if answering her. He shimmered with violently sharp, silver magic. “Then I’ll leave Jadren’s corpse on his mother’s doorstep. That should explain everything.”
Or destroy everything, Nic thought, winging her way to recover their friends and wondering how she could stop Gabriel from murdering Jadren before asking questions—and listening to the answers.
It was such a relief to be outside of that windowless house, beyond the walls, and in real sunshine again that Selly practically skipped with happiness. If she’d been on her own, she’d have run for the sheer joy of being able to. Running, however, was out of the question, as they were forced to keep to the tangled undergrowth, not daring to risk the roads.
Also, Jadren wasn’t up for it. His breathing still sounded too harsh and, when she asked if he might have more gadgets inside still impeding his healing, he’d only said it was likely and hadn’t summoned even a hint of mockery. He looked pale, his skin greasy with sweat and hair soaked with it. But every time she glanced at him, even out of the corner of her eye, he snarled at her and told her to watch where she was going.
It was good advice, as she’d already snagged the thin silk robe on a twig, tearing it badly, and her feet were bleeding in several places, even tough as they were from all her time running barefoot in the wild sanctuary of the marshes. They were too close to the house still to explore the bag of supplies to assess what Fyrdo had put in there. The bag wasn’t terribly heavy, which didn’t bode well for food stores. At least Jadren had capitulated on letting her carry it, though he’d taken possession of the machete, threading it onto his belt with stolid determination, along with a dagger. His magic had worn thin again, no doubt consumed by trying to heal whatever horrible devices remained implanted in him, and he was hardly in any shape to fight anything off—physical or magical. It was all he could do to keep walking.
She had precious few arrows and, while it was a waste to use the enchanted silver on squirrels, she highly doubted they had enough food in the bag to fuel them for the days and days it would take to walk to House Phel. She’d have to keep Jadren fed to keep him going; she’d have to feed herself so she’d have magic to give him, so he could heal. Though he’d gone back to refusing magic from her. She didn’t really understand why as that was the purpose of the bonding, but Jadren was firm on the subject and wouldn’t be moved.
Once they got safely back to House Phel and Wizard Asa fully healed Jadren, then she and Jadren could talk. They were bound together now, irrevocably, so they’d have to agree to work together. Besides, he’d promised to bed her and he wouldn’t go back on that. She had a feeling that if she could get him to let her through those defenses, if he gave into his obvious desire for her, embraced their partnership, and trusted her even a little, then he’d be able to let go of whatever fears plagued him so.
Jadren halted in his tracks, tensing. “Someone’s closing on us. A wizard.”
Shit. Selly swallowed, bearing down on the terror welling up in her. “Jadren?” she asked through a suddenly dry throat.
“No, I can’t tell who it is yet. Shh.”
“Not that,” she persisted, lowering her voice, “will you promise me something?”
“Not now. Be—”
“It has to be now.” She moved in front of him, forcing him to look at her. As he had been recently, he met her gaze with haunted regret, his magic reaching for her even as he physically stepped back. “If it’s them,” she continued, “I want you to kill me.”
“What? No.”
“Jadren.” She put a hand on his breast over his heart, not letting him run from her, from this. “If your mother recaptures us, she’ll make sure we never escape again. I’m not asking for me—though that is a nightmare I don’t know if I can endure again—but for you. She’ll use me to keep you alive for more of her experiments and as leverage against you. If it’s them, you need to kill me.” She nodded at the machete on his belt. “You can make it fast.”
He stared at her, jaw muscles working, his wizard-black gaze furious and agonized. “Don’t ask me this.”
