Page 70 of Made for Cyn
Incredulously, I stare at him, ignoring the fact that I was contemplating it just that last night. “I only just barely fucked you!”
“Stay away from Saul, Rain. He’s dangerous.” Cyn’s eyes contain a warning that makes me pause, but I’m not his toy. He can’t play with me when he’s bored and then toss me aside.
“So are you.”
He smiles, his eyes dropping to icy pools of distaste. “That’s right. I am. But I gave you the courtesy of coming to me, hmm? Saul doesn’t fucking care.”
Reminded of my Uncle John, my skin hurts, and I scratch at my arms before dropping them because it’s no use. The feeling isn’t going to go away, no matter how many showers I take.
“Rain . . .” he says in a warning tone, and I smile at him with all my teeth.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do. You don’t get to do anything but stay away from me. You used me and threw me away. Well, leave me as I am because there’s nothing left for you to take.”
His brows slam over his eyes before he says heatedly, “You knew exactly what we were doing, and if I recall, you decided it was done. Now you’re fucking bitter? Please!”
“Why? Because I decided I didn’t want to be your sex puppet? You pull the strings, and I come running? I’m a human fucking being,” I say thickly, willing back the tears.
I’m too fucking loopy for this conversation, and he doesn’t know when to fucking quit.
His eyes search mine, dark with an emotion I can’t define before he grabs me up in his arms. “We had a deal, which, by the way, I’ve never fucking done for any other bitch. What more do you want from me?”
Whimpering because my back is pulsing with fire, I cover my pain with a gasp and pull away to sneer. “I want someone to want to get to know me. I want someone to hold my hand. To give me flowers. To treat me as more than something to use and hurt.”
“I never hurt you,” he growls.
“No, you didn’t. Not physically,” I say softly, and when I walk away, he doesn’t follow.
???
Iris and I hit parties both nights of the weekend by unspoken agreement because we’d rather be out than home.
At each one, she disappears with a different guy, and I watch on sadly, wondering if this is how she copes with her pain by controlling her body in the only way she knows how.
The following week is quiet in that Cyn continues to ignore me, and his crew does the same. Gym is equally torturous, but I know I can’t refuse to perform forever, so I suck it up despite the pain. If I grit my teeth hard enough and glare at Jig while he sneers at me, the emotional ache rocketing my heart supersedes it, sort of.
Iris is still in talks with Saul, and she hasn’t shared anything more about his request, but the two times she went to see him, I stayed back at the bridge with Oscar, who greeted me with a piteous expression and a long-suffering sigh both times.
“What’s going on, Rain?” he asks as I shift awkwardly beside him and wince for the millionth time.
“Nothing,” I say absently, concern for Iris clawing at my heart. I know this is the only way, or at least she thinks it is, but I can’t help but worry every time she goes off without me.
Cyn may be dangerous, but surely Saul has no soul.
“Did you talk to Cyn?”
“No,” I say, avoiding his gaze. I can’t exactly do it now when I’m contemplating having sex with Saul to kill my disgusting uncle. And to be clear, I can’t believe I’m even thinking about such things.
Besides, Cyn doesn’t care. He wants or wanted me for one thing, and that’s over now.
I’m on my own, which has never bothered me before with two flighty parents, but now I’m wishing just once they could have been normal. If they were, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
But poor Iris would. Shit. I guess it’s better this way.
Oscar glances at me with wide eyes, his mouth pursed in a tight line. “You’ll only make it worse if he finds out before you tell him.”
“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care. Besides, what does it matter? It’s got nothing to do with him,” I say tiredly.
Warily, Oscar glances around before turning to me. “Because this is his territory and anything that happens reflects on him.”
