Page 36 of Riley
Chapter Thirteen
Riley
Today had been a living nightmare. Being there with Richard after Rebecca passed was overwhelming, but then my brother arrived, and he quickly took over. He called Cara and then my parents. He was going to leave it up to Cara to inform her siblings.
When Cara arrived, she had quickly decided that they would not tell Ethan until he came home this afternoon. She knew how hard it would be on him and didn’t want him to deal with that while traveling. What were a few hours?
My mother, Henley, and I worked in the kitchen. We made sure there was plenty to eat for everyone as they arrived. Daniella, Roxy, and Charlotte were here earlier in the day but left before Ethan showed up. They said tonight it should just be our two families.
Henley and I were in the kitchen cleaning dishes when the front door opened and I heard Ethan’s voice. Hen and I looked at one another, and he pulled me into his arm for a moment. The tears started immediately again. It was going to be hard enough seeing him again after the way we had parted, but knowing he was coming home to this. I could not imagine his pain.
Ethan was on his knees in front of his father when Henley and I joined the front room. His cries tore at my soul, and I wanted to gather him to me, but I held back. His gaze collided with mine, and the disbelief was so stark that it took the air from my lungs.
I didn’t see the woman he was supposed to be bringing home; maybe she didn’t come, but then I heard his sister talking about someone going outside. I slipped out of the room before making a fool of myself and throwing myself into his arms.
Henley followed me into the kitchen. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just tired, Henley. It’s been such a long day.”
“You look tired, Riley. Why don’t you go home? You’ve done a lot today.” He paused. “Why were you here in the first place?”
I glanced at the door to the front room. “I knew she was sick. I had been coming over to help her and Richard.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because they didn’t want anyone to know. They were going to tell all the kids today when Ethan came home.”
“Damn,” he muttered. “Okay, go get some rest. I’m sure you’ll have time to speak to Ethan later.”
Ha! Like I was ready to have a conversation with him? I slipped out the back door, and as I got to the front corner of the house, I paused when I heard voices. I peered around the corner and saw a woman in Ethan’s arms. They were too far away for me to make out what they were saying, but it was obvious that they were intimate as she kissed him and caressed his face before walking off.
I slipped back behind the house so she wouldn’t see me as she left and hoped that he would have gone inside by the time I headed to my car—no such luck.
Ethan started approaching me, and I fled. I couldn’t be near him right now. My heart was so heavy, and my emotions were such a mess that I knew if he touched me, I would fall to pieces and confess everything. Tonight was not the right time.
I hated myself as I got in my vehicle and left. I had seen the need in his eyes, but I couldn’t give him that. I couldn’t be what he needed, not when I didn’t know what I wanted or needed from him.
My god, Iwasselfish.
I drove home, hating myself, and went right to the shower where I cried again for like the hundredth time today. My face was puffy and the skin under my eyes chapped from all the salty tears I’d shed.
I lay down and within seconds fell into a deep slumber of exhaustion. I woke at nine the next morning and crawled out of bed to use the bathroom. When I finally got down to the kitchen, I poured a big glass of orange juice before locating my phone on the counter.
I had a few text messages, but nothing urgent. Coral thanked me for all I had done. Henley and my mom were checking on me. I replied to them and wondered what was next. The picnic planned for the day was off, and I wasn’t sure what I should be doing with myself.
As I thought about it, I had this undeniable urge to see my parents. I showered and headed over to their house. I guess I wasn’t the only one who needed to be close to our parents because Wesley and Charlotte were there with Marisol. Brad and his kids were there, and Huntley was also parked in the kitchen.
Kayley and Daniella were cooking when I walked in. Kayley had come home from New York as soon as my mother called her yesterday. There wasn’t one of us who didn’t feel Rebecca’s loss almost as strongly as her own children.
There were times when I was growing up that I’d been more comfortable telling Rebecca about things than I was my own mother. She had always given me good advice.
“Where is Henley?” I asked after I’d hugged my parents tightly.
“Both he and Roxy have to work today,” my father said as he pulled me to his side and kept his arm around my shoulders.
“Ah, I thought they had the day off for the picnic.”
“No, Henley had to work; Roxy got called in for an emergency. She’ll be here in a little while,” Hunt stated.
