Page 82 of A Dark Fall
I take a few steps into the room. “Hmm, okay, how about when you were sleeping with your sales executive four nights a week for months before coming home to me? How about when you moved in with her the day after you left me?”
“The day after you kicked me out, Alex,” he corrects.
I ignore that. “How about when youproposedto her after three months of living with her?”
“That was a rash mistake ...”
“But fucking her wasn’t? God, you are deluded if you think there is any way of us being together again. I mean, you are.” I fold my arms again and straighten my spine, but I feel more tired than angry. Ben’s betrayal still hurts on a basic level. Finding out someone you trusted lied to your face over and over again for a long time is hurtful on a basic level. But I don’t care anymore because I don’t love him anymore. I don’t want to look at him anymore.
He’s silent for a long time, eyes lowered to the floor as he considers what to say next. He lifts his head and fixes me with a soft, sincere look.
“I regret every day what I did, how I hurt you. We had everything ...” He shakes his head and drops his eyes again. “I mean, we weren’t perfect, and no, you never did what I did, but there were days when it was like ... Christ, you barely looked at me. Barely noticed when I was in a room. It was as if you were waiting for something else ... Someone else.”He sounds desperately sad now, and I know there’s truth in what he’s saying. It makes a tiny sliver of guilt settle over me.
“And yet you were the one who slept with someone else, not me,” I say, my voice sad now too.
It’s a long time before he speaks again. “I miss us.”
It’s not the kindest or the most polite thing I’ve ever said, but this isn’t a time for either of those. “I don’t.”
He blinks—shocked, I think. It’s some time before he reacts at all. He nods once and stands up from the chair, coming toward me. He’s taller than Jake, and his height and my lack of shoes mean he towers almost a foot above me. His height used to make me feel safe. It doesn’t do that now. It makes me feel small. My state of undress only adds to the discomfort. My hands instinctively go to pull my robe tighter around me.
“Maybe you’ve forgotten what it felt like,” he says quietly, eyes dropping to my mouth.
I’ve no time to think or respond before his mouth is on mine and he’s pushing his tongue inside. I’m too stunned to react right away, until my brain ignites, and I push at his chest. His arms are strong though, and they’re around me and pulling me in closer until I’m pressed against him.
“You still love me, Lex, I know you do,” he mumbles as I twist my head away from his mouth. I feel his hand slip under my robe, and cold panic spreads over me. It’s the only thing I can think of to do, so I bring my hand up and hit him. A slap, full force, on the side of his face. My palm stings from the impact. It does the job though, because he steps back immediately, looking shocked as he brings his hand to his cheek.
“What the hell was that?” I hiss at him.
“I thought if I kissed you, it would remind you.” He sounds dazed.
“Remind me of what, exactly?”
“Of us. Of what we felt like.”
“God, you really are delusional.”
His face turns cold again, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Or maybe it’s that you only go for thug cock now.” He puts his hands up.
I flinch as though he’s slapped me, my ears and cheeks burning from rage. The insult sounds so disgusting from his mouth it turns my stomach. I think about slapping him again. He’s an even bigger prick than I remember.
I try to keep my voice calm as I speak my next words. “So, because you can’t keep a woman anymore, you force yourself on them?” I nod, pulling my robe tighter around my body as the smug look evaporates from his face. “Your mother would be so proud of you right now, don’t you think?”
It has the effect I want, the embarrassment clear on his face. He’s speechless for a moment before he nods, the cool smile settling back over his mouth.
“Oh, you always were a prude, Lex.” He sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. He looks smug, and I wonder how smug he’d look with Jake’s fist across his face. A sadistic, unfamiliar part of me wants to find out. “Could have been pretty good farewell sex if you’d let yourself go a little once in a while, bloody hell.”
I grit my teeth. “The sex was never ‘pretty good’ to begin with, so why on earth would it be any different now?” I ask.
He narrows his eyes again, clearly getting ready to hurl another insult, but he just lets out a small, empty laugh and turns to leave.
“Key,” I hiss, holding out my hand.
He stops, turns, and smiles before reaching into his front trouser pocket to pull out my spare keys with the cat key ring on them. I snatch them from him.
“When you tire of your bit of rough—or rather, when he tires ofyou—call me. I’m sure it won’t be too long.” Then, with one last smug look, he turns and strides out of the room.
“Don’t hold your bloody breath!” I shout after him pointlessly.
