Page 12 of Dirty Little Secret
Willow
“Wait, back up,”Kendall says as she pops the cork on a bottle of wine.
After having an incredibly quiet yet tense breakfast with my family, mostly because of the looks Max was shooting me from across the table, I hightailed it out of there. I knew Max was waiting to talk to me, to find out what was going on between me and Finn, but I’m not ready to have that conversation with him.
Not now. Maybe not ever. He’s kept silent on the topic for nine months so he can wait a little longer.
Plus, I need to figure out what I want first. The two-hour drive back gave me time to think, but all I did was talk myself in circles. So, in true Willow fashion, I turn to my best friend.
“It’s not that complicated, K.”
“Yes, it kind of is. I don’t understand. Finn wants you. You want Finn. Why aren’t you together again?”
After pouring us each a glass filled to the brim and handing me one, Kendall let’s out a sigh. Hopping up onto the counter across from me in our galley-style kitchen, her eyes bore into mine, searching for the truth. The facts I may have conveniently left out. Like how we slept together nine months ago. Or how we’ve been dancing around each other for years.
Things I’ve been trying not to think about since Finn’s revelation.
It’s no secret we’ve always been drawn to each other. Of all Max’s friends, it’s always been Finn that I enjoyed hanging out with the most. He’d come over and watch movies with me and Max when I was sick. Spent most of his summers in our pool. It was his shoulders I jumped on when we’d play chicken. He was the one standing next to Max when my boyfriends were threatened. The one that I called when I needed a ride home from a party and didn’t want to get in trouble.
“Oh. My. God,” Kendall exclaims, each word drawn out overdramatically. “You slept with him!”
So much for keeping some of the facts a secret from her. I should have known better. The moment I met Kendall I knew we were going to be fast friends. Best friends. We were paired up to be roommates our freshman year. We’re both outgoing, but where Kendall is loud and lacks a filter, I’m quieter. She’s good at reading people, whereas I try not to look to closely and mind my own business. It makes for a perfect dynamic most of the time.
Except when I want to keep things from her.
Looks like it was time to reveal the only secret I’ve ever kept from her. From everyone. I can’t help but think it would have been easier to keep this from her if we were still living in the dorms. Or at least she would have been more subtle about her accusation.
Our suitemates last year, Alexis and Piper, are our polar opposites. They’re both quiet, shy, and completely dedicated to their studies. Alexis is here on a full-ride scholarship. Piper just happens to be a damn genius and enjoys studying.
We pulled them out of their comfort zone when they needed it and they kept us grounded before we could have too much fun. When Kendall and I moved out of the dorms and into our own apartment at the end of the year, I was devastated they didn’t want to come with us. I was going to miss Taco Tuesdays and Thirsty Thursdays. Study time on Sundays when they forced us out of bed at an ungodly hour on the weekends and we all went to breakfast together before hanging out in our shared living room and studying all day.
Unwilling to give up our new traditions, Kendall and I now host theme nights here at our apartment. And even though the semester is over, Alexis and Piper are on their way over right now, so if I’m going to keep the Finn thing quiet, I’m going to have to fill Kendall in before her creative mind runs away from her.
“Yes, once. But it’s not what you think. And I don’t really want to talk about it because it didn’t exactly end the way I’d hoped it would. Plus, we need to table this for now since—”
“Did you not get off? Seriously? I’d assume he’s packing. Tall, broad shoulders, big feet,” she says dreamily, wiggling her eyebrows at me over her wine glass as she takes a sip. “The Graham brothers are every girl’s wet dream.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I state, suddenly feeling like I need to defend Finn’s manhood. Not that it needs defending. One glance and she’ll know exactly how wrong she is.
“Look,” she begins, her voice softening as she hops off the counter and moves to stand in front of me, “for what it’s worth, I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted, but I wish you would have told me. I would have kicked his ass for you or at least shot him dirty looks when I saw him on campus. But …”
Her voice trails off, and I know what’s coming.
Sage advice.
Exactly what I was wanting when I first started talking to her, but now I’m not sure I can handle it.
Closing my eyes, I brace for whatever she’s going to say next.
“I think you should listen to Finn. To what he said. I don’t think he’s the kind of guy that would say that just to get you in bed, especially if he’s already climbed that mountain. You know him better than I do, you’ve known him most of your life. You have to decide if he’s worth the risk, but I think you already have, and you’re simply scared.”
Before she can say more, I hear shuffling in the hallway outside followed by the door to our apartment closing. Opening my eyes, I watch Kendall nod once, letting me know she’s going to drop the topic, for now at least, and she goes to greet the girls. Not having the courage to face them just yet, I hop down and walk to my room. Closing the door behind me, I let out the breath I was holding as tears well in my eyes.
“One,” I tell myself. “Only one.”
And that’s all that falls. One lonely tear. I’m not even sure what I’m crying about. My dad? Finn?
Not that it matters. I’m done with the tears. For now, at least.
