Page 128 of Snow Falls Over Starry Cove
‘And then one day, when I was lost in my umpteenth pint of beer, I met you. I fought against my growing feelings for you. God, how I fought! I convinced myself that you should never come near a letch like me. That I could only destroy you. And yet, every time I spent a single moment with you, I went home feeling lighter. For the first time in years, I actually looked forward to something. Even our rows were stimulating. I was alive again, Emmie. Thanks to you.’
He runs a trembling hand through his dark locks.
‘But then your grandmother came to see me. She told me to stay away from you. That I ruined everything I touched. And to kill me completely, she told me that when Miranda drowned, she was pregnant. With another man’s child.
‘I had a chat with Janice, who confirmed the stage of her pregnancy. I couldn’t have been the father of that baby. Miranda, of course, kept it from me. And that poor, poor unborn baby went down with her. I couldn’t keep either of them safe. It deserved a shot at life, Emmie… But it never got a chance! Ababy, Emmie! I don’t deserve something so precious.’
‘Oh, Jago…’
‘I was in hospital for months, medicated to the eyeballs for the pain in my lungs. And then from pills I went straight to the drink. Anything that would numb my body and my mind.
‘As it turned out, it numbed my soul, too. Because I could never forgive myself for not trying harder. I couldn’t save them…’ He shakes his head as if to empty it of the memory. ‘I just couldn’t save them.’ He grabs his head, shaking it. ‘I just can’t get it out of my head. It’s a scene that plays itself over and over.Everytime I go out to sea, I see her, slipping away from me. Just like I couldn’t save Nano…’
His head snaps up, his eyes full of a sorrow I thought he was immune to all this time.
‘No, Jago,’ I whisper. ‘You mustn’t feel like that. Everyone knows you did all you could. No one blames you.’
He shrugs. ‘Tens of therapists have told me the same. I had no role in their deaths, technically. But I can’t shake the sense of inadequacy. And you – I know you don’t trust me anymore.’
‘I don’t know that I’m strong enough to start over, to put my heart in your hands,’ I whisper as tears sting my eyes once more. ‘I’m still hurting.’
‘Then let me kiss away your hurts, Emmie,’ he murmurs, taking my hands in his.
‘Jago,’ I whisper, ‘my heart aches for everything that you’ve lost, believe me…’
‘Then please give me another chance, Emmie. I love you. And without you, I’ll never be happy again. Listen to me – I haven’t even felt thedesireto be happy for years.’ He runs a hand through his hair and grins at me through his own tears. ‘But if you promise to stick around, I’d like a shot at it, with you.’
He loves me. He wants to be happy withme. He wants a second chance. Most people don’t deserve one. Like Stephen. And yet, I gavehima million chances. Stephen isn’t even worthy of licking Jago’s boots. Jago loves me. And I love him. Don’t we both deserve a second chance?
I wrap my arms around his lean waist and look up into his eyes as his hands circle my hips.
He looks down at me, a tender smile on his face. ‘You and me together, a fresh start. How does that sound?’
I grin, laughing and crying at the same time. ‘I think, Jago Moon, that that sounds like a plan.’
‘You, Emmie Weaver, have made me whole again.’
I hold him close, not caring that we’re surrounded by others.
‘Oh, I almost forgot,’ he says. ‘I have something for you.’
And with that, he pulls out a round object wrapped in Christmas paper. I glance at him as I carefully unwrap it.
‘I made it myself,’ he says. ‘Nano taught me.’
‘Oh, Jago!’ I gasp, for it’s a glass snowstorm with a small island and a shack.
Inside the shack, through a window, a fire is visible. And that’s all I can see, because now my eyes are drenched in tears.
‘I love you, Emmie,’ he whispers, taking my face in his hands and kissing my lips. ‘Truly I do.’
‘And I love you, Jago Moon. It took me a while to understand what my heart had wanted from the start.’
‘And now it’s you and me, together forever?’
‘Oh yes!’ I cry, throwing my arms around his neck.
Breathing deeply of the cold morning air, Jago lifts his head and looks around at everyone as if seeing them for the first time. He’s like a little boy who’s been allowed to run off on his own. A loud, sonorous laugh escapes him as he takes my cold hands in his warm palms. It’s such a lovely change to see in a man.
