Page 315 of One More Kiss
Chapter14
AXEL
THREE MONTHS LATER
“I really wish you’d reconsider,”Trace said, his dark brows drawn together.
Damian watched me, frowning, from off to the side of our worn living room couch. They stood above me like this was an intervention, and I guess it was in a way.
They wanted me to continue pursuing my MBA while I still had a chance to wrap it up, once and for all.
I, however, completely fucking disagreed.
“Listen, I know you guys want me to be all noble and righteous in my quest to kiss the almighty wealthy asshole, but I’m not going to.” I crossed my arms, leaning back into the couch. After Cora broke things off before Christmas, I’d all but formally dropped out of my courses. I sure as fuck hadn’t paid the tuition for the last semester, either. But because they were good brothers, they cared about the increasing amount of time I spent pacing my bedroom and drawing up business strategies.
“We didn’t have enough money for all three of us to complete our degrees,” I went on. “Honestly, I got what I need out of the program. I can’t concentrate on the bullshit theories anymore. I just need to jump headfirst into our business. I’m ready.”
Concentration on anything that wasn’t actionable progress was a threat. A possibility that I’d slip down the greased slope of self-pity, down into the well of longing that still burbled inside me. Any misstep was a chance to completely lose my shit again about Cora.
I’d spent the past few months in unbearable agony, hashing and rehashing every word we’d shared in the last month of our relationship. Remembering the sheer joy on her face the night I’d asked her to marry me, and then picking apart every second after that, trying to work out what had changed her mind.
Her father wielded immense power, but he didn’t control her emotions.
Cora may have been coerced, but she’d made the decision on her own.
“Think about it this way,” Trace said, raking his hand through his thick, dark hair. “We’re a team. A trio. And we all need to have our goddamn MBAs.”
“I’m done playing their game,” I said, kicking my feet onto the coffee table. “Two out of three with MBAs ain’t bad, gentleman. Now they can take it or leave it, and I’ll convince them to take it. I need to be our salesman, and I could do this job without even my bachelor’s.”
Damian peered at me over the top of his round glasses. “You’re going to be our point man for every single business transaction…and you want to walk in there without your fucking MBA?”
“Yes,” I huffed. “I’ll go finish it someday if you want. But for now? We need to get this business off the ground. We don’t have the cash for both Damian and me to walk in May now that you’re out, Trace. I will be the virgin sacrifice here.”
Trace snorted. “Yeah. Virgin my ass.”
I cleared my throat. It had taken about a month for my hope to finally die out, then I’d turned to the only outlet I knew: endless pussy. For three weeks I went hog wild, fucking my way through most of Lower Manhattan once it really hit me that Cora was gone forever.
Three months in, the hurt still hadn’t lessened. It had only spread to new extremes. Like poison ivy, stretching silent and territorial, warning any human that dared cross its path. And it was twisting itself into new shapes. Pushing me into scary situations. Prompting new types of thoughts. Breaking barriers that I’d previously considered impassable.
And for how angry I still was, how hurt and heartbroken? I couldn’t say that I’d turn her down if she showed up at my door tomorrow. As Cora had once said: it doesn’t get easier, you just get used to it.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to this.
It was so fucking wrong. The whole situation reeked of shit. I’d never been so confused before, not even after entering the foster system and grappling for roots alongside Damian, mourning the loss of our younger sisters.
What happened with Cora was a new depth of loss, something I’d never felt before and never wanted to fucking feel again.
“I don’t know what you guys want me to say,” I went on, dragging my hands down my face. “I’ve wanted to quit for two semesters. And now, financially, one of us has to drop out. We won’t get our dividends until the quarter after graduation, so I’m willing to do it. And in the meantime, I’ve been working from sunup to sundown to get our shit moving in the right direction. I promise you that. MBA or not, these motherfuckers won’t know what hit them. And honestly? I want to show them what a Kentucky boy can do without an MBA.”
A smile tugged at Trace’s lips. “You know, the scary part is that even when you have outlandish, completely ridiculous ideas, I still believe you.”
“Then I’m doing my job.”
Damian took off his glasses and spent a moment cleaning them with the hem of his shirt. When he put them back on, he leaned so close I could see the yellow flecks in his green eyes.
“You really want to do it this way?”
“Yes.”
