Page 151 of One More Kiss
Phoenix
TO SAYTHAT THE WEEKEND was a blast was a total understatement. Without even realizing it, my life was changing drastically. It all pointed to Tori, the girl who stole the breath from my lungs. She not only stole my breath, but my thoughts. All throughout band practice, I thought of her. I couldn’t focus on the words, or the plucking of the strings on my guitar. I was a total goner, and I didn’t know what to do.
The moment I saw Tori at the fair, I knew I needed to be around her. It was like needing water to survive. We talked about everything under the sun. She was nervous at first, stuttering, looking everywhere else but at me, and she kept shaking her left leg. I thought it was cute that she seemed off but didn’t want to point it out. When she finally relaxed, she became passionate about her hopes and dreams. I was enthralled and didn’t want her to stop talking.
She seemed insecure and was surprised every time I gave her a compliment. If I could compliment her on everything I would. This girl had to know she was perfect in my eyes. My only problem with us was that I was eighteen, and as soon as school was out, I was heading to boot camp. It was the only thing making me nervous about connecting with her. But I couldn’t seem to halt the progress. It was like she was made specifically for me.
My chest swelled when we spoke about her singing and how she wanted to be a singer, but she didn’t think it was possible. She was too afraid to be on stage and in front of an audience. I thought it was funny considering it’s what I did all the time in Arts Club. We talked about that and how it wasn’t as bad as she thought. We laughed and joked until it was time to end the night. Though I didn’t want to leave.
“Ready to go?” Cory asked, taking a bite of cotton candy.
Cory had come up to me breaking off pieces of cotton candy. He mentioned leaving before putting the pink sugar into his mouth. My body deflated because I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to leave. I’d just gotten the chance to be near Tori and find out what made her tick. Then, I thought about exchanging numbers and felt elated again.
My body deflated because I knew it was late.
“Do you have a number I could call?” I asked, ignoring Cory.
Her eyes seemed to gloss over with sadness as she shook her head no. “We don’t have a phone. Sorry,” Tori responded, crossing her arms together and resting them on her chest.
It sucked but I understood. Phones could be expensive. “Okay. Maybe I’ll see you around?”
“Of course,” Tori agreed.
The problem was that when I asked her for her number, she denied the request. Apparently, Tori’s family didn’t have a landline nor did any of them have cellular phones. I couldn’t text or call, and it made me miserable. The only way to speak to her was at school, but that didn’t give us much time to discuss anything, let alone get to know one another.
It gutted me to see her so sad. The light seemed to leave her face at the thought of separating. It seemed the magic of the night was waning. You could tell by the lack of movement, neither of us wanted to be apart, but Cory was quite persistent about leaving the fair.
“Dude,” Cory said, “It’s late and I have to be up early with my parents tomorrow. We got family coming down.”
“Okay. Okay,” I said, wishing I wasn’t the one who had been forced to bring Cory back home.
I couldn’t let him down because I was, after all, his friend. This sucked because I didn’t know if I would see Tori again or even get the chance to speak to her again. I mean we saw each other at school, but that was a rare occurrence. I liked spending time with her even though we weren’t really baring our souls. For a moment it was nice pretending no one else was around listening to the words we spoke. But our own little bubble had been popped. Reality always had to set in and change the moment.
We said our goodbyes, and I lingered a bit longer just to feel the soft skin of her hands encased in mine. She was innocent, I could tell. Just by the simplest touch, her breath quickened, and her cheeks reddened. It was like she had no clue how to act in the moment. It was adorable, and quite sexy to be honest.
We didn’t kiss or hug, just a simple touch of the hands. I wanted to kiss her, to see what she tasted like, but it wasn’t the right time or place for such an act. Tori was a special person, someone I wanted to experience that first kiss with in private. Though I did lean toward her to talk quietly as if blocking out the whole world. That instance I caught her scent and it felt like heaven.
Once I had Cory loaded up into the Bronco, I dropped him off at his home. After I got home, I got a call from Brey to see if I could practice with the group tomorrow and I agreed.
Right after I tossed my phone on the comforter of my bed, I headed toward the outside patio. I knew that’s where my mom was because she seemed to always be on the phone, chatting it up with her best friend on the patio. As soon as she saw me, she said her goodbyes to her friend and hung up.
Her eyebrows drooped as if concerned by my appearance outside. “Hey. Did ya have fun at the fair?”
My mom and I were close. Growing up, I didn’t have a father around, so I relied on my mother to be both parents. My stepfather didn’t come into the scene until middle school. It was a crappy situation, but I always thought she did a great job managing both roles. I needed her advice and didn’t know where else to turn. Feelings I’ve never experienced before were taking over me, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
“Yeah,” I said, smiling. A wistful look was plastered on my face.
“You seem serious,” my mom observed, “did something happen tonight? You know you can talk to me, right?”
I took a deep breath, and then exhaled loudly before responding, “I know. It’s just I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, start in the beginning,” she said, “that’s always a good place start.”
“You’re right as always. It’s about a girl. Well, not just any girl. She’s special,” I said, “Mom, how do you know if the girl you meet is the right one? Like, is there a certain feeling?”
My mom placed her hand on the table beside her and seemed to think for a moment. I figured she was trying to find the words to tell me before actually saying them, I was grateful for that because I didn’t want false words. I wanted to understand what I was feeling. Was this infatuation? Or was this something deeper, like love? I mean, I thought I loved my ex-girlfriend, but when she left me, I realized it wasn’t truly love. What if what I was feeling wasn’t either?
“Well, Son,” Mom said, looking me straight in the eyes. “You just know. There’s no right or wrong answer or way about feeling things. When you meet the person you want to be with, you know right away. It’s a strong, intense feeling that you can’t seem to shake no matter how hard you try.”
