Page 46 of The Pleasure Contract
“I don’tthink,” he corrected himself before she could say anything. Because he needed to say the words that had been charging through him this whole week. He needed her to hear them. “I know.”
“Lachlan,” she began, her tone far too measured.
And he had to get it out. He had tosayit. “I’m in love with you.”
For a moment then, he felt suspended in thin air. New York City was on one side, and perfect, beautiful Bristol was on the other, and the wire that stretched out between the two was hope. A wild, heart-pounding hope.
But when she smiled, it was sad. She reached over and brushed her fingers over his jaw, and he had the terrible, sickening feeling that what he saw in her eyes then was pity.
“Oh, Lachlan,” she said softly. “No. You’re not.”
And that sounded like finality.
All he could do was stare.
Bristol sighed, then fumbled in the bag over her shoulder, eventually pulling out her keys.
“You’d better come in, I guess,” she said as she shoved the door open with her shoulder, which was not exactly the profession of joy and delight he’d imagined repeatedly over the course of this long week without her.
He followed her as she led him up three sets of stairs to that minuscule apartment he remembered too well. It had gotten no bigger since he’d last seen it.
Inside, she flicked on the lights. She tossed her bag on the counter that separated the tiny kitchen from the tiny living room, kicked off her shoes, and only then turned to face him. With her arms crossed and a look on her face that did not make that wire of hope inside him gleam.
Lachlan stayed where he was, with his back almost against the door, because he was entirely too tense. And he thought that if he moved any closer to her, he’d take it upon himself to remind her just why it was they were perfect for each other.
Over and over again.
Which he was guessing she would not welcome in her current mood.
“You look murderous,” she pointed out. “Is that how this is going to go?”
“I’m not my parents,” he managed to bite out.
She had the grace to look shamed by that. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.”
But that didn’t make it any better. “You can’t really believe that I go around telling people I love them. Maybe you do believe that, but I don’t. I’ve never said that to a woman before in my life.”
Her smile was almost...bland, and he knew that meant she was getting ready to strike. “I understand that when you say things like that, Lachlan, it’s meant as a very great compliment. And I appreciate that, I do. But I’m not particularly interested in winning the grand prize here.”
Somehow, as he’d driven back down from Vermont with his sister’s words in his head, and spent this whole week imagining how this would go, it had never been...this.
“Bristol—”
“You don’t love me,” she said, very distinctly, and there was nothingblandabout her now. “You can’t. We’ve never really been together, have we? Youhiredme and it’s not the same thing. Which you should know, because that’s why you do it.”
“That might be how it started, but it’s not where we are now.”
“Maybe it’s not where you are now.” She shook her head. “But then, you’re not the one who’s had a role to play this whole time.”
He didn’t like that. Especially when he’d been so sure she was the one who hadn’t been acting at all. He ran a hand over his face and tried to get his bearings. “Where were you this past week?”
Her eyes narrowed. “In Ohio. With my parents, not that it’s any of your business. Note that I’m not asking what you were up to.”
“You could. I went up to my sister’s place in Vermont, then came back to the city. To wait for you.”
“I didn’t ask, Lachlan.” And he could hear the edge in her voice. The way it raked over him. “Because that exceeds the limits of our arrangement, remember? It’s not supposed to bepersonal.”
“Then let’s change it.”
