Page 16 of Master Baldor
The lump stirred and her head popped out from under the blanket, her ponytails askew, and her eyes swollen from crying.
I sat down at the edge of the couch and cupped her chin, forcing her eyes to meet mine.
“Can you tell me why you are so upset?”
The teary innocence vanished, and a wall dropped between us.
“I could, but why should I? You don’t know me; you’re not here for me. You should go, Baldor, and just leave me alone.”
I recognized her tough act as simply that, an act to push people away. Shelby wanted a Daddy, needed one desperately, but her survival instincts were so ingrained, that it was hard for her to let go. She moved to pull the blanket back over her head, but I was faster and snapped it out of her hand.
“Now listen here, young lady. You know I will not tolerate your unacceptable behavior, and rudeness is unacceptable behavior.”
Shelby growled and screamed as she got to her feet and stomped around the room. “I’m stupid, okay, that’s the real reason I’m upset. I’m stupid and I can’t seem to keep it all together. I’m drowning, Baldor, I’m treading all alone in a vast sea of uncertainty.”
She surprised me by saying and sharing her truth with me. Shelby looked so forlorn, so small and vulnerable. I had to help her. This wasn’t okay with me regardless of what she was or wasn’t.
“Shelby, please, come here.” She eyed me warily but did as she was told.
I drew her gently to my lap and wrapped my arms around her.
“It will be okay, sweetheart. I’m here and I will help you.” I stroked her hair and gently rocked her. She shook in my arms as the tears poured from her eyes, dampening my shirt.
Long minutes passed while she fell apart, and I held her safely in my arms. I cared, at least I could admit that much. Words I didn’t want to speak, but feeling her in my arms, I knew it was time to suck it up regarding my issues and take a step forward, no more standing in the wings looking for the elusive perfect woman.
Maybe Shelby could be mine for now until I found her the best match for her needs. A shudder moved through Shelby, and then she stilled.
“Shel, are you okay?”
“I think so. Thank you for holding me. I think I really needed it. I have touched no one since you. No one has touched me since my last time here with you. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep it all together and I’m lonely, Daddy.”
Daddy came out naturally from her mouth as a simple acknowledgment.
She straightened and peered up at me. “Is it okay? Can I call you that?”
Was it?
“Yes, it is more than okay. I really want to take you out for a night on the town. How do you feel about that?”
She frowned as if what I’d asked was distasteful.
“What does that mean, exactly?”
“I meant let’s get out of here and go on a date. What do you say?”
A smile lit up her eyes. “I would like that, yes, please. Uh, what do I call you in public?”
“We will work on titles, labels, and boundaries later. For tonight I’m Noah taking Shelby on a date.”
Shelby clapped her hands excitedly.
“Baldor, Sir. What about my clothes?”
“Did you bring anything else?”
“I checked in a bag at the coat check that has a pair of jeans in it. Will that do?”
“That will do for now. I think we should start our date with a shopping trip. What do you think about the Disney store?”
