Page 21 of Beautiful Chances
The real mind-fuck is that I don’t know if she means it or if she’s saying it to push our captive further. I think she misses me as much as I miss her every time we’re not together. Baby might be a lot of things, but she doesn’t lie—at least not when she can avoid it. Either way, I don’t want to share any intimacy in front of Mr. Riley.
Remembering why I came down here, I clear mythroat and say, “We have to leave.”
Taking my hand, Baby pulls me up the stairs, with Kas following quietly behind us. When we reach the living room, she gives CJ a quick nod before pulling me along with her. “I just need to change, then I’ll be ready,” she throws over her shoulder.
After picking a dress from the wardrobe in CJ’s bedroom, she drags me into Kas’, where she picks a pair of shoes and some underwear. Only when she has an entire outfit hanging over her arm does she pull me into my room, closing the door behind us.
Before I can even think of what to say, she strips out of the oversized hoodie and the snug jeans she’s wearing. “Do you want to join me for a quick shower?”
I don’t comment on the fact that she’s still in her underwear. “Sure,” I say and quickly remove my own clothes. Unsure what the rules are, I keep my boxers on as well.
We walk into my private bathroom, and while I get the water to the right temperature, I watch her gather her long brown hair in some kind of bun on top of her head, presumably not to get it wet. She has this speculative look in her eyes, and she’s absentmindedly gnawing on her bottom lip.
“Are you sure about this?” I ask, feeling like a fucking fish out of water. She’s clearly not enjoying it, so why is she pushing this?
With fierce determination, she looks me right in the eye, and while holding my gaze, she removes her bra before joining me in the shower cubicle.
“I’m sure,” she whispers before closing the door and throwing her arms around my neck. “Kiss me.”
Unable to do less than she demands of me, I bend my neck and press my lips to hers. I don’t deepen the kiss. No, I just let my lips touch hers while willing my cock not to react to the way her bare tits feel against my skin.
Baby licks at the seams of my lips, trying to get me to open for her. When it doesn’t work, she huffs in frustration. “Why won’t you kiss me?”
“I am kissing you,” I reply against her lips.
Sighing, she lets go of me and turns around to reach for the pink body wash she keeps in here. My breath hitches as I watch her hands move across her smooth skin, rubbing soap onto every naked part of her body.
“I never thanked you for taking me to your old apartment.” Baby’s voice is as thick as the layer of suds that are now covering her flesh. “I’ve wanted to, but I wasn’t sure what to say. There are a lot of things I want to say. I just don’t know how. I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m trying so hard to do what I know Mark would want while reconciling it with what I think I need.”
Her words are so honest that I feel them penetrate my skin and wrap themselves around my heart. “You never have to thank me.” Placing my hands on her waist, I’m surprised to find that she’s lost more weight than I thought. I mean, I probably shouldn’t be. She’s barely eaten since Mark died. Her main sustenance is coffee and energy drinks. “I want to be here for you, but I need you to tell me how. What can I do?”
With her back to me, it’s a lot easier to give voice to my thoughts. This way, I don’t have to see her face if I say something she doesn’t like or if I let her down. Yeah, it makes no sense, but there it is. It’s the truth.
“I don’t want to ask you to do something you’re uncomfortable with. I understand if you want to stay away from the basement. Hell, I even get it if you want him out of here.” Placing her hands on top of mine, she keeps them in place when she angles her body so the warm water rinses it without touching her hair. “Don’t think I don’t want you or need you. Please.”
Squeezing her skin beneath my palms, I whisper, “You might need to remind me from time to time.”
Yup, I just fucking said that.
My girl is basically telling me she still wants me and that she’s struggling—and what do I do? I make it about myself. Because, of course, I do.
The first thing I notice when Baby turns around is the stubbornness in her eyes. “How can I remind you when you barely seem like you want to be around me? And then when I throw myself at you, you won’t kiss me.”
Valid points. All of them, each of them.
I pull her to me with a growl and claim her lips with mine. This time there’s no hesitancy in my actions. I swipe my tongue across her lips, and as soon as they part, I seek hers out. Our tongues tangle while we hold on to each other, naked apart from our underwear.
“I’m sorry,” I pant against her lips, and I really am.
Baby sighs and pulls away to say, “Alec, you don’t have to—”
She says it at the same time as I decide to stop holding back, and I interrupt her. “I want to be there for you. I would be at your side in a heartbeat if you just asked me. You need CJ to control your decisions, you need Kas to lighten the mood and help you feel comfortable, and I need you to want me there—and to verbalize that want. Can you do that? For me?” Closing my eyes, I rest my forehead against hers. It’s uncomfortable to bend down like this, but fuck the discomfort. It’s worth it to still be able to touch her.
“I will. I promise.” All four words are laced with a conviction that’s so strong it’s downright touching. The magnitude of the words and her tone go straight to my heart, and it does this weird little flip just as the corners of my mouth pull upwards.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that Kas and CJ are made to wait in the receptionist area while Baby and I follow Mark’s lawyer inside his office. Baby was optimistic that we would all be allowed inside the reading of Mark’s will, but that’s not how these things go. Or maybe it is, I’m not even going to pretend I know. What’s keeping my brothers out is that Mark’s will stipulates that if she wants anyone with her, it can only be Martin or me.
Apparently, Mark updated his will only a few weeks before he died, and that’s when he added my name to the list ofpeople allowed to be at her side. That does surprise me. As far as I knew, Mark wasn’t fond of me. Fuck, that’s the understatement of the century! He didn’t just hate that I’m with Baby, he predicted that mine and my brothers’ involvement in her life would be bad for her—and so far, he’s been right. If it weren’t for us, the big guy would still be alive, wouldn’t he?
