The question is abrupt, but I have to ask. Given the horrified look on her face, I already know the answer before she speaks.
“God, no!”
“Do you want to see him again?”
“Definitely not!” The toast has dropped from her hand, and she looks like she wants to take a second shower.
A smile creeps onto my face. That’s all I needed to hear, and I’m happy with that.
But there’s one more question on my mind. “Your mom isn’t moving in? I thought you said Meredith was on her way.”
Katie shakes her head, and relays the tale of her mom and her mom’s new man. Apparently, he’s a good one, and Meredith decided to stay in their small town to pursue this new relationship.
It dawns on me that I’ve made a huge mistake. I pushed Katie away because I thought she had some weird Mommy issues, like co-dependency and potentially even the trap of substance abuse. But I couldn’t have been more wrong because it’s not like that at all. Even more, I should have known better. This is a woman who launched her own business at the tender age of eighteen, and who made a success of it against all odds. Katie’s fearless, brave, and better than I deserve.
Shit, I’ve screwed up. What have I done? What’s going to become of us? LA is a huge city teeming with energy and a million things to do. There’s people-watching, see and being seen, and hitting the celebrity party circuit. And yet, somehow it was all wrong until Katie came into my life, and I only hope I can make it up to her.
21
Katie
After cleaning up a bit, I join Bruce in the living room later that day. He’s not saying much, and it worries me. I can’t help but wonder what’s going through his head right now. Does he think less of me because I went on a date with Tom Benning? Does he think I betrayed him?
From the way he looks at me, I get the sense that he wants to say something, but he’s holding back. He’s keeping his guard up, that much is obvious.
So, wanting to break the ice, I start off with a little humor.
“Well, that little stunt you pulled had me hauling ass to the nearest doctor to get on the pill.” I laugh a little, trying to ease the tension between us. “Take it as a compliment: you broke my procrastination streak. Just thought I’d let you know.”
I mean to be funny, but an awkward silence falls between us again, so I quickly think of something else to say. “Um, how are sales with the panty business going?”
“Down,” he admits. “A lot of questions came in about why the women’s stuff was no longer available.”
“What?” I ask, surprised. “But I was sending you product through the mail. Didn’t you get it?”
He looks a little shamefaced.
“I did, but I didn’t want to put it up on the site. I wanted to keep some inventory, just in case.”
I stare at him, totally confused.
“Really? But what did you tell our customers when they asked?”
He shrugs.
“Nothing. I just left those questions unanswered. They’ll live.” He looks away, and I can tell he’s having a hard time.
None of this makes sense, but I guess it doesn’t matter because I’m taking a salary now. Besides, why should I care if he’s uncomfortable at the moment? Bruce deserves to have a hard time facing me after what happened. I love him, and I’m sure he loves me too – at least maybe a little bit? So why did he throw me out of his life? It’s like he was trying to hurt me and make me feel bad about myself. Who does that?
The silence thickens. I don’t say a word, waiting for him to speak up. But he doesn’t, so we just sit there without talking. I pull out my phone and browse through social media in order to entertain myself, but I quickly discover that this is a horrible idea.
Pictures of me looking like a drunken slut with Tom Benning are going viral all over the internet. There’s one with my hair hanging in my face, and my lipstick smeared. There’s one with my dress hiked up really high as I appear to hump his leg. Tom looks flushed, but otherwise okay.
“Oh no,” I mutter under my breath.
Bruce glances at me before holding out his hand, signaling that he wants me to give him my phone. I do as he asks, and he takes a quick glance at the screen before putting it on the coffee table where I can’t reach it without getting up.
“You know, I blame myself for all of this.”
“While that’s nice to hear, it doesn’t do shit to keep embarrassment from filling me completely,” I say, hugging my knees to my chest.
