Page 103 of Hard To Love
Then it went dark.
When I came to, I was in a hospital bed. This was starting to get old. How many times does this happen to one person in their life? I let out an exasperated sigh and sat up, feeling a slight twinge in my side. Nick appeared from behind the curtain.
“Hey.” Hi s face filled with worry.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Claudia said you went pale and then you fainted,” he said. “Do they know what’s wrong?” I asked.
“No, they said it would take an hour at least for blood work to
come back.” He sat on the bed next to me. “I can’t lose you.” His fingers brushed across my cheek. “You won’t.” I smiled. “I’m fine.” Just then the doctor walked in.
“Miss Miller, how are you feeling?” she asked, walking to the opposite side of the bed from where Nick was sitting.
“I guess I feel okay.” I shrugged. “There’s a slight pain in my pelvis, but other than that . . .”
“What kind of pain? Sharp or shooting pain?” Her brow furrowed, concerned.
“Uh—well, when I move, it tends to shoot, but as I lie here, it’s just a twinge,” I replied.
“Hmm.” She looked at her clipboard. “Well, it’s hard to say, but I can have a look,” she said, flattening out the bed. Then I felt her press on my abdomen, then lower. “I’m going to have a look with the ultrasound, make sure everything is all right.”
“Ultrasound?” Nick asked, looking up at the doctor.
“Well, yes, in cases when there is a positive pregnancy, we like to make sure there is no sign of—” She paused when she saw the look on our faces. “You didn’t know?”
“No—I haven’t even missed my period,” I replied, confused. Nick’s eyes glistened as he stared at me. “How far along am I?”
“Let’s have a look,” she said, then left the room. Nick and I just stared at each other in silence. When she returned, she wheeled in a mobile ultrasound machine. She plugged it in and waited until the light turned from orange to green. I pulled my pants down enough to bare my pelvic bone, lifting my shirt over my belly. My heart raced and the nerves kicked in. Nick took my hand and pressed his lips to my knuckles. Nick and I waited anxiously as she rolled the wand over my belly. When she was done, she turned to us with a grave look on her face.
“I’m sorry. The pain is due to an ectopic pregnancy,” she said. I gasped, and then squeezed Nick’s hand. “That’s when the sac remains in the fallopian tube and grows.”
“What does that mean?” Nick asked. I knew the answer, having heard of this condition from other people.
“It means they have to remove it before it bursts.” I sniffed back the tears, resting my head back.
“There’s no way to fix it?”
“Unfortunately no. If you waited—well, it would be dangerous,” she said, touching Nick’s arm. “We can do this today to prevent any further problems.”
“Okay.” I nodded, shutting my eyes. Nick kissed my forehead.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I cried.
“I’m here I won’t go anywhere.” He said bringing my hand to his lips.
When the doctor returned, she explained the two options we had at that time. One was an injection of a drug that would stop the growth and make it dissolve; the other was to remove it with a scope and repair the tube if there was any damage.
“So we can start with the injection first, then monitor you to make sure your hormone levels go down. If they don’t, then we can inject you once more. Then we’ll go from there,” she explained. I nodded, fighting back the tears. “I’ll be back.” She left the room. Nick shut the door, then got in the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me.
“I’m sorry ,” I said, turning to look at him.
“For what?”
“Not being more careful.” I sobbed.
