It is what it is.
We slip out into the alleyway, and I shove trash bags and empty boxes aside to reveal my ride. It’s a Harley Davidson Softail Standard in vivid black with shining chrome accents. Aiden has his Aston Martin, Kellan has his rat-rods, and Jackson has his gift. But this? This is mine.
For the rare occasions I get to ride it.
I yank a tarp from the bike and roll it away from the wall so we have room to get on. Raegan’s staring at it with unmasked excitement until she looks at the seat. “Where do I sit?” I’ve never given anyone else a ride before, so this’ll be a new experience for the both ofus.
I pass her the helmet and pull out a Halloween face mask with neon lights crisscrossing over the eyes and mouth. It’s my secondary option to keep my face hidden from street cameras with my hood tugged further forward over it. “Behind me.” I shift as far forward in my seat as I can, but I know it won’t be enough.
She looks at me like she thinks I’m kidding, so I raise an eyebrow in challenge. Either she can suck it up or walk, but she’s the one who wanted to tag along. As if reading my thoughts or the possibility that I could leave her behind, she shoves the helmet over her head and holds my sides when she throws one leg over.
I slip my mask on and hood up as she does it, then lean forward to grip the handlebars. Her entire body, from the side of her head down to the way her legs straddle mine, presses firmly against me, and I start to reconsider this plan.
My body tenses and heats at the feel of her wrapped around me. It brings me back to the movie nights we’d have together. How she would curl up against me or wrap herself around my arm. How many nights had I thought about kissing her? Of pulling her into my lap and giving in to the fantasies that filled my head instead of the movie I was supposed to be watching? The slip of black panties I witnessed tonight intrudes into my thoughts again.
Cursing under my breath, I throw my foot into the clutch to get us going. I don’t give her any time to adjust before I take off through the empty city streets. I focus on the wind whipping around us and the cool night air instead, taking every stretch of road at high speed so all my attention has to be on driving.
We make it to the location in record time, but I wanted to scopeit out before Vera got here, anyway. I park the bike in the building’s alley, and we climb the rickety metal fire escape from the ground to the roof.
It’s the roof of an old strip club that shut down before we moved here, but the neon lights still turn on nightly for whatever reason. It stands out in the city and will be easy for her to find, which is just what I want. Raegan eyes the sign glowing red and then looks at me.
“L’amour?”
I shrug and walk around the perimeter. Aside from the giant letters across the roof, there’s nothing else. No entrance or exit other than the fire escape along one side. No big air conditioning units or any other sort of obstruction that people can hide behind. Once I get in a full sweep around the edge, I know we’re clear. “It was an old strip club.”
“Ah. Someplace familiar to you?” There’s no accusation in her tone, but I take it that way, anyway.
“The sign is recognizable. That’s all. This club hasn’t been around in decades.” There’s a rumor that this is where secret lovers will meet. When they have nowhere safe or hidden to go to be together, they come here. Away from cameras, people, the world.
I don’t know whether or not that’s actually true, but I am grateful to find no one else here while we are. I’d feel bad kicking them out of their secret spot, but I’d do it.
I sit down in front of the letter O and lean back against it. It could be hours before Vera gets my message and comes here. It could be minutes. I settle in to make myself comfortable for the wait with one leg stretched out and the other bent at the knee to rest my arm on.Raegan steps up to the O and leans against the other side.
“It might take a while. You should sit down.”
She looks at me and then back around at the city before she nods and sits next to me. I wish she’d chosen anywhere else to sit on the roof when her proximity has my body hyperaware of her. It pricks at my temper, and I look out over the city to distract myself.
We sit in complete silence for a long time. I would have thought she’d try to fill the silence with something. Excuses. Memories and nostalgia to try to win me over. How else had she tricked the others? I assume it’s my turn now and I’ll be subjected to her tricks.
She doesn’t say anything at all.
Her body shifts every now and again to find comfort on the cold concrete roof and hard plastic lettering, and the moment she does, my entire body laser focuses on it. All I can hear, see, think about is the fact that she’s moving.
It’s stupid.
The third time she does it, I’m ready to break the silence just so I can focus on anything else.
“Even though she’s alive,” I begin, my voice rough, “I still don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for what you did. I still don’t trust you.”
I keep my gaze trained on the lights of the city in front of me. I don’t know what I expect to see if I look at her face right now, but I don’t want to see any of it. Not until I say it all.
“I know,” she answers softly before I can continue. “And you shouldn’t trust me.”
Surprised by her admission, I break my internal promise not tolook at her. Her bright blue eyes are filled with fierce determination as she looks at me. My chest constricts under that stare, stealing the air from my lungs.
“Because if I had to do it all again, if I were ever faced with the same choice of watching you die or saving you…I would choose you every time.”
She smiles sadly and finally looks away from me. I realize I wasn’t breathing while she’d looked at me that way and take a deep breath again through parted lips. I pull my other leg up to give myself more privacy, and then grip the fabric at my chest to will my heart to calm the fuck down.
