Elizabeth had hoped that the sheer power of her will might enable her to withstand the vacuous absurdities of her cleric of a cousin, but unfortunately, she had not accounted for how pointed his attentions toward her would be. That he should act in such a manner despite how he had previously seemed to understand—and accept!—her rejection of his marriage proposal was scarcely fathomable. Still, there could be no denying that he had embraced his revision of the history between the two of them wholeheartedly.
Elizabeth could not speak with one of her sisters or even focus on simple embroidery without the nasally voice of Mr. Collins beseeching her to pay heed to his words. After but a few days, her mind positively rang with the sounds of “My dear Miss Elizabeth” and “Miss Elizabeth” and even “My cousin Elizabeth” as he implored her opinion on every subject from the vast number of chimneys at Rosings to the handsomest flower on the Longbourn grounds.
Elizabeth encouraged him to cease his pursuit. She told him stories of impertinent remarks she had made, and he had only laughed fondly; she had told him in detail about how ill-suited they were for one another, and he had only disagreed in even further detail; she had told him how the life of a parson’s wife would be much too plain for her, and he had told her that as he was the parson of the most honorable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, she would be surrounded by the splendor of Rosings Park and unable to do more than express her humble gratitude for the glamorous path that the Lord had placed her upon.
Elizabeth’s head had begun to pound quite often, and her appetite had become much lessened, so disconsolate felt shedue to the cleric’s presence. She finally gained entrance to her father’s study to discuss the issue with him, but when she did, she found a less-than-sympathetic audience.
“I will not assail your ears with holiday platitudes about needing to express good will toward men,” said Mr. Bennet, “but I shall advise you that we must endure the man’s presence despite any inconvenience that it might bring. As Mr. Collins is to be the next master of Longbourn, I cannot simply eject him from the premises without a cause much stronger than that which troubles you. I am afraid you must simply ensure your ears are just as closed to him as your heart.”
“Very well,” said she, giving her father an unhappy look. “If you feel there is nothing to be done, then I shall simply continue to reject the man until he surrenders. Surely that day will come at some point. However, I would like to request that you ask my mother to cease encouraging him, for she only contributes to his energy and my misery.” This last was said with no small amount of bitterness.
“That pompous young man certainly has no need to seek the assistance of others when it comes to filling his sails with wind,” said Mr. Bennet, “but I shall speak to Mrs. Bennet when the opportunity arises.”
Elizabeth thought that he would be just as likely as not to forget to address the matter with her mother, but she had done what she could. She thanked him and left the study.
The arrival of the Gardiners was the only bright light in what had come to seem (to Elizabeth, at least) a most dreary Christmas season. The Gardiner children shrieked with delight upon being greeted by their cousins, and Kitty and Lydia eagerly took the children by their hands and led them around to view the various festive touches to be found at Longbourn. Though more traditional households would not be putting up their greeneryuntil Christmas Eve, one of the houses in the neighborhood had begun the previous year to eschew superstitious notions of limiting the practice and had instead embraced notions of such greenery being in keeping with the holiday spirit. Many other nearby households had made the decision to do the same, and Longbourn was one of them.
Mr. Collins favored the newcomers with a lofty welcome speech that seemed to drive Mr. Gardiner’s eyebrows ever higher into his hair. Mrs. Gardiner, with an almost imperceptible nudge to her husband’s ribs, thanked the young clergyman for such a kind reception of her family and then gave Elizabeth a questioning glance.
Elizabeth returned a long-suffering look that became even more fraught with misery once the parson spoke again.
“When that blessed day comes that further strengthens the bonds between our families, you shall always be considered most honored guests, for I have heard how very dearly my cousin Miss Elizabeth cares for you,” said Mr. Collins.
Mrs. Gardiner’s brow furrowed as she attempted to puzzle out his meaning. “Please forgive me if the road has made my mind as dusty as my clothes. What, pray tell, do you mean, sir?”
“Ah, yes,” said the parson, a sort of glee evident in the way he rubbed his hands together and smiled as he spoke, “you would not be aware of the joyous news that awaits you at Longbourn. For you see, I have proposed marriage to Miss Elizabeth. As I am the heir to the very home in which we stand, you must agree that it is a most splendid match for your niece. Our familial harmony shall be without parallel, and I find myself filled with the most inappropriate desire to shout my news from the housetop.”
Alarmed, Mrs. Gardiner looked at Elizabeth.
“Mr. Collins,” said Elizabeth, her expression pinched, “I fear I must remind you that—”
The young man had no interest in receiving reminders of any sort from his cousin, and he turned to Elizabeth’s uncle. “I understand that you find enjoyment in fishing, Mr. Gardiner.”
“Ah, yes,” said the other man, looking at the other man with a perplexed expression, “I suppose that I do.”
With a meaningful tilt of her head, Mrs. Gardiner drew Elizabeth away a slight distance from the others.
“Do my ears deceive me,” murmured Mrs. Gardiner, “or is Mr. Collins speaking as though you are engaged?”
“You hear the right of it,” said Elizabeth, not even bothering to hide the despair in her voice, though she did modulate its volume. “I only wish my cousin had ears as sensitive as yours. Every time I insist that I have never accepted his proposal, he becomes suddenly deaf.”
“If he speaks with too many people outside the home about these false beliefs of his, you might be forced to marry him,” said Mrs. Gardiner, obviously fretting. “Otherwise, others might claim that you jilted him. In such a case, you might never find a husband.”
“A marriage between us shall never happen,” said Elizabeth, “for I should rather die as a spinster than as a fool’s wife.”
“I will speak to your mother about this,” said Mrs. Gardiner abruptly. “Perhaps she can encourage him to look elsewhere for his bride.”
“I suspect you would have more luck in convincing a stone to leap into the air, but by all means, please do converse with my mother. He has been bolstered by her words far too much of late.”
While the opportunity for private conversation did not present itself until the next morning, Mrs. Gardiner did finally find herself alone with Mrs. Bennet for a few minutes. However,when she broached the subject of Mr. Collins, the results were not that for which she had hoped.
“Is it not wonderful that Mr. Collins has deigned to choose our Lizzy as his bride?” asked Mrs. Bennet. “I feel much more comfortable in my own home now that I know I shall not be cast out from Longbourn when Mr. Bennet breathes his last.”
“I am less impressed by his decision than I am by his stubbornness. Why, you know that Lizzy would never accept the hand of such a self-admiring young man. You really should set the matter straight with Mr. Collins before he does something that cannot be undone.”
Mrs. Bennet merely waved a hand. “Lizzy never knows what she wants. She will laugh at a man as a fool one minute and then give him a friendly smile the next. Her tempestuous behavior is rather vexing, but though she refused Mr. Collins once, I intend to ensure that she accepts him this time.”
“He is speaking as though Lizzy is already his fiancée,” persisted Mrs. Gardiner.
