Everythingbutthem.
And when Cal asked something that involved their marriage? Dawson closed off, gave a vague answer, and changed the topic.
Cal understands that it’s not easy for him—for Dawson to look at him and not see the man he loved and married. But if Dawson gives him a chance, Cal will do anything to make it work again. He just wants Dawson, in any way he can have him in his life.
It’s strange how his conscious mind doesn’t remember a single thing, but something inside him remembers, with startling urgency, how important Dawson is to him. How much he feels for him. And he knows, without a shade of doubt, that it’s his job to make sure Dawson is happy. That he’s safe.
If only Dawson would let him in.
Dawson chews on his bottom lip, reluctance oozing out of him. “What would you like to know?”
Excitement flutters in Cal’s chest. “Everything. I know this has been hard on you, even though you like to pretend otherwise. I just want you to feel like you have your husband back. Not like you’re living with a stranger.”
Dawson squeezes his eyes shut, a flash of pain passing across his face. Cal was right—Dawson is taking it hard.
But Dawson shakes his head, taking a deep breath as he opens his eyes and scoots closer to Cal. “Cal, I meant what I said at the hospital. We don’t have to force this. It’s okay to start with a clean slate.”
“But it’s not fair to you. If there’s a chance that we can revive even a little of what we used to—"
“Stop!” Dawson yells. “Please, just…juststop.” The last word comes out like a sob. He hides his face in his palms, breath coming out in harsh pants.
Everything inside Cal screams at him to reach for Dawson and comfort him, hide him from anything that might hurt him. But it was Cal who had hurt him this time, and the rush of guilt that hits him is like a paralytic. He can’t do anything.
When Dawson uncovers his face, his expression is blank. Tired. He looks Cal in the eyes. “I don’t want toreviveanything.I want to leave the past in the past and start from here. Can we please do that?”
If that’s what he wants… “We can do that.”
“Thank you,” Dawson says. His shoulders drop like a weight has been lifted off them. “Do you, uh…” He gestures at the large TV in front of them. “Wanna watch a movie?”
Taken aback by the abrupt change in conversation, Cal takes a moment to reply. “I’d like that.”
He watched some Netflix after Dawson showed it to him on the iPad. It was either that or the books to pass the time at the hospital and while he enjoyed some of the Disney movies, he prefers reading. But if watching movies means he gets to spend time with Dawson? Sign him up!
“What are you in the mood for?”
“You choose.” He wants to know what Dawson likes.
Dawson’s fingers play with the remote, then he starts going through the movies. “Well, you always liked John Wick.”
Cal looks at the TV. There’s a man in a dark suit and gun in his hand, chaos unraveling around him. “What’s it about?”
“It’s several movies. I think the fourth one came out recently, but it all starts when the protagonist's—John Wick’s—wife dies and leaves him a letter and a puppy. The thing is, he’s a retired assassin who left that life behind, but it finds him again. Some guys attack him and kill the puppy, and then he gets angry and starts killing—”
“No,” Cal says decisively. “No dead puppies.”
“Okay.” Dawson flicks through more movies. “You also liked—”
“What do you like?”
Dawson shrugs. “Most stuff.”
“Dead puppies?”
“No!” Dawson shouts, a look of horror on his face. “I work at a shelter. Come on.”
“So what do you like?”
Dawson stalls, tapping his fingers against the remote. “Rom-coms. True stories, as long as they aren’t too sad.” He pauses. “Disney.”
