“Oh, honey. That’s the ‘I miss the someone special’ blues if I ever saw ’em.” Mom barreled on in her usual ballsy fashion.
In my family, Dad was the sensitive one who treaded lightly and Mom was the one with no filter.
“Mom…”
“We know and we approve.” She snorted at my shocked expression. “Oh, come on. We’re not blind. And by the way, he’s absolutely adorable.”
“Wait. You know? I don’t get it,” I sputtered.
“We pay attention, Jake, and we love you.” Mom kissed my temple and glanced at Dad. She made a face I couldn’t decipher if my life depended on it. “I’ll leave you two to talk. Call me later. I know your schedule, and I know for a fact that you need to be in Boston on Monday since that’s the day I’m supposed to meet you there. So I’ll either see you at dinner tomorrow or in Boston. Bye, sweetheart.”
Dad typed a message into his cell and shoved it into his pocket just as the front door closed. “Dinner can wait or…I’ll order pizza. Talk to me, Jake.”
We stared at each other for a beat.
“I met someone,” I hedged. “And he’s pretty cool.”
“I see.”
“A man,” I clarified.
“I got that,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I…um…” I narrowed my eyes and melted into the sofa. “I’m bi.”
He nodded. “That’s great. And yes…I had a feeling.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? You and Mom both knew? That’s so…how? And how long have you been waiting for me to come out?”
Dad sighed and moved to sit beside me. “I wasn’t waiting. I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.”
I hung my head. “I’m sorry. I should have said something sooner, but…to be honest, I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t be…out, and I can’t have what you have with Smitty.” I bit my bottom lip. “He’s not someone I can have at all.”
“Do you want to tell me about him?”
“It’s Trinsky.” I shot a sideways glance at my father. “And you knew that too.”
“Well, I had a suspicion. You spend a lot of time together for a couple of guys who despise each other.” Dad smiled. “I figured there was a chance you didn’t hate him after all.”
“Not even a little,” I replied in a barely audible tone. “It’s just kind of impossible.”
He laid his hand on my knee and squeezed gently. “Is it?”
“There’s no way it would work and I wouldn’t ask Mason to throw away his career for my sake.” I paused for a moment. “For the first time in my life, I feel trapped by hockey. I should be grateful. It should be enough to play the game I love and have a great career and a supportive family and good friends. I shouldn’t want more than this. I shouldn’t want…”
“Love?”
“Yeah. Maybe that’s not for me.”
“Of course it is,” Dad scoffed. “I know the stakes are different, but I wouldn’t give up if I were you.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” I squinted at the flat-screen for a beat and met his gaze. “Every time you’ve failed at something, you’ve figured out a way to fix the problem and make it so much better than how you left it. More perfect. I wish I was like you, but I’m…not that brave. Not really.”
“Are you kidding? You’re fearless, Jake. You always have been. Do not underestimate yourself.” Dad shook his head, his eyes widening with a flood of emotion. “My God…you say you wish you were like me, and all along, I’ve wished that I were more like you.”
