She clears her throat. “I never stopped loving you, Kai. I suppressed my feelings for you for so long because of how hurt I was that I never realized how much I still do love you.” She pauses for a moment. “Being engaged to Liam never felt right. I couldn’t understand why, because I’ve always wanted a family. He was giving me everything I wanted. I finally came to realize that the family I wanted was with you. No one else.”
A pang of jealousy hits my chest, knowing he gave her everything she wanted—everything that I wanted to give her. But also, a sense of overwhelming feelings hit me with her saying the family she’s always wanted is with me. I’ve always known how important family is to her, and I’ve always felt guilty for not giving that to her. The only thing I can do now is move forward from the past and give her what she needs and deserves.
“So, have you already moved out of Liam’s house? What is going on with that?” I question. She darts her eyes away from me, looking as if she is guilty of something. “What? Don’t tell me you’re still living with him!”
She shakes her head. “No. I’m not. I haven’t been…” She pauses and bites her lip. “For a couple of weeks now.”
“A couple weeks!” I exclaim. “And you waited that long to tell me?” I shake my head. “You mean to tell me I could have had you in my bed, in my arms, a couple of weeks ago?” Her eyes widen as she bites down on her lip even harder, stopping the blood flow. “Where have you been staying?”
“At my mom’s. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“Ugh, hello? Here.” I built a house. A house for us. The only problem is that she doesn’t know the house is ours. It’s almost finished, and I was about to put it on the market because I was losing hope for us. Better late than never, but she cut it close. “Once you finish your breakfast, I have something to show you.”
For a couple of weeks now, the sun hasn’t been shining to its full potential. Every day has been as gloomy as my mood. Buttoday the sun is shining, and the blue sky is as clear as ever. Not a single cloud in sight. This has to be a coincidence. Everything is falling into place. All the steps I took to better my life have finally led to everything I ever wanted and worked so hard for. I drive down the winding road with Blakely in the middle seat of my truck and my right hand on her thigh. I blindfolded her so she couldn’t see where I was taking her. Like I did many years ago, when I blindfolded her and took her to our first apartment.
I pull up into a now concreted driveway and park my truck. “Where are we?” she says, looking around as if she can see.
“You’ll see soon enough,” I say, opening my truck’s door. “I’m going to come around and get you. Do not peek.”
“I won’t.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” she says.
I go around the truck, leading her out of it and toward the house. “Watch your step. There are four steps up.” Once we’re on the porch, I grab the keys and unlock the door. The smell of fresh paint still lingers in the air. She sniffs at the smell, and a crease between her eyebrows forms. “Are you ready?” I’ve waited years to tell her this was in the process, and I finally get to. I’ve never been so excited.
No wait.
I have.
Last night was even better.
What am I saying? This is all exciting.
I unwrap the blindfold and stand behind her as she looks around curiously. Then she turns to me with her eyebrows scrunched. “This is our home,” I say.
Her mouth parts as she looks again at her surroundings. “You’re joking?”
“No.” My stomach drops. Does she not like it?
She turns toward the nook I made for her, intending to turn it into a library. She walks over to the built-in shelves I had put in. Reaching up, she grabs the painted picture we made eight years ago. Our hands are in it, with Amari’s baby hand in the middle.Forever and Everis written on top. I framed it years ago and kept it in my room. The shock on her face tells me she didn’t know I still had it. I’m surprised Amari didn’t tell her I had it. My little girl must really keep all our secrets. She reaches in and grabs the Valentine’s card she and Amari made for me. I kept that one as well. That one was always a little harder for me to look at because it was the night I knew she made up her mind about me. The night she finally had enough and walked out. It was a night that has always been heavy on my heart.
I walk into our apartment, hung over from the night before, regretting the day before. Valentine’s day. When I showed up yesterday and saw the hurt on Blakely’s face that I didn’t show up for Valentine’s Day, it made me regret my decision not to see her or Amari. To be honest, I didn’t think she would have cared. I had already hurt her so much, so I felt she didn’t want me around. Especially on a day for couples to celebrate their love for one another. But an instant regret hit the pit of my stomach when she asked me where I was and if I was with another girl. Like the asshole I am, I acted like it was a regular day and didn’t show how much I saw her hurting for not showing up. There were actions and words last night that I regret. Instead of fixing my actions right then and there, I went home and drowned myself in alcohol. But it didn’t help. It only made my feeling of regret worse, and when I woke, the only thing I wanted to do was apologize to her. Apologizefor everything I’ve done to her. At this point, my words are like a broken record. Always repeating but never changing.
I feel lousy buying her two-day-old chocolates and a last-minute bouquet. But I don’t know how else to show her I’m sorry. I’ve missed a few days of work, and my uncle has been getting on my ass about my performance. If missing these days is the last straw for my job, then so be it. I need to make things right with Blakely. Not just for me, but for my family.
I walk up to our apartment we share, even though I haven’t been sleeping here since she hasn’t wanted me to. The door swings open, and the darkness of the apartment surrounds me. Not only because the lights are off, but the quiet sound of…nothing. I turn the light on and instantly see the “Happy Valentine’s Day” painted in red on folded white paper. I reach for the card, open it up, and right away, my body shakes. Written inside is “Daddy, you will always be my first Valentine. Love, Amari Rose Madden.” Amari’s feet are painted inside in the shape of a heart. Then, on the left-hand side are what I’m sure are Amari scribbles.
I run down the hall into the bedroom. The closet is empty, and Amari’s blanket we keep in her crib is gone. The silence surrounds me, sinking me down to my knees.
She left me.
She finally left me.
My head hangs low, and all I can do is sob.
“You kept these?”she asks, her voice low.
