My heart feels heavy knowing that I didn’t invite Kai. He’s always been part of our celebrations. This time feels so off without him here. It feels so wrong that I didn’t include him, but then it feels so wrongtoinclude him—because of what Liam said. I can’t help but wonder how he’s feeling, or if he even remembers it's Bryn's birthday. I’m hoping he doesn’t remember.
Paige walks into the kitchen. She’s wearing black skinny jeans that hug her legs and a cropped gray sweater. She holds out the cake in her hands. “I got the cake,” she says, her voice full of excitement.
My mom takes the cake from her and places it in the middle of the dining room table. “Thank you for picking that up for me, Paige.”
“No problem,” Paige says and looks around. “Where’s the birthday girl?”
“In her room, getting ready,” I say.
She walks out of the kitchen and yells over her shoulder, “I’m going to go say hi!”
“So, how’s the wedding planning going?” my mom asks as she takes the cake out of the box.
“It’s coming along,” I say, trying to sound as if I’ve been planning it.
“Coming along?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you’d be knee-deep in planning it by now.”
I force a smile. “Yeah…Me too.” The truth is, I’ve been avoiding it, hoping I’d magically feel more excited as time went on. But that excitement never came. And the more I try to force it, the more distant it makes me.
Mom narrows her eyes, studying me like she always does when she knows something’s up. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I continue to say to everyone that keeps asking me that same question. Am I really that bad at hiding my emotions? Everyone keeps asking me about the wedding, and when I give them vague answers, they think something is wrong.
I turn my head at the sound of the front door shutting. In walks Liam in his light blue scrubs. Thank God. Maybe she won’t continue asking about the wedding.
I walk up to Liam and give him a kiss. “Hi. I’m glad you could make it.”
“Me, too,” he says, wrapping his arm around my waist. He inhales and says, “It smells good.”
“It’s my homemade chili,” Mom says.
“I can’t wait to try it. I’m starving.”
Twenty minutes later, we’re sitting around the dining room table, enjoying the chili and sharing laughs. Then, my heart sinks at the sight of Kai and Kevin walking in.
“Hey, everyone,” Kai says. “Sorry we’re a little late.”
The laughter of the room stops, and I can’t shake the sense of guilt that washes over me. Not only is my heart sinking because I know Kai must feel hurt knowing I didn’t invite him, but I’m also sure that Liam thinks I invited him. The tension in my chest tightens as I watch Kai’s eyes on me. I sit here, torn, wondering how this is going to play out? They’re both going to ask me about it, eventually.
Liam’s jaw is tight as he stares straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with me. I lean over and whisper, “I didn’t invite him.” Liam ignores me and continues eating.
Kai and Kevin take a seat at the table while my mom goes over and serves them each a bowl of chili. Kai doesn’t seem tocare that he’s making it a point to look over at me every chance he can get. I’m sure that’s making Liam even more upset.
This anxious feeling is unbearable. I should be celebrating my sister’s birthday, but instead, I’m sitting here with a fake smile on my face. The guilt wraps around me, suffocating me. I’m being pulled in two directions, torn between what I should do and what I want to do.
“Thanks for inviting us, Brooke,” Kai says.
“Of course,” my mom says.
I glance over at him and swallow the lump in my throat. Did he say that because he sees how I’m feeling? Or is he making it a point that I didn’t invite him?
It doesn’t seem to faze Liam that my mom invited Kai, which only amplifies my anxiousness. He sits at the table, even more silent than he was before Kai came, only making it obvious that he’s upset he’s here.
As the conversation flows around us, I feel like an outsider in my life, caught between two worlds. One where I’m supposed to be happy and another where unresolved emotions linger.
“We need to talk,”Liam says sternly as he walks into our room later that night, still in his scrubs.
“Where have you been?” He never came home after the party. We left my mom’s at the same time but he never showed up home after me. I stayed up waiting for him. I got ready for bed and read a book to keep my mind off everything. But even reading couldn’t keep my mind off of this.
