“Why are you just now saying this?” I glance over at him, widening my eyes in disbelief.
“We’ve all thought it. I’m just the one that is finally saying it.”
“What? Who thought it?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He pauses. “Liam isn’t home this weekend. Some surgeon conference or whatever the hell.”
I sit upright. “How do you know?”
“B told me when I picked up Amari.”
I grab my iPhone, and the time reads 11:00 p.m.
Shit.
She might be asleep.
She said she missed sneaking out. I could reenact our sneaking out days to bring back the memory ofus. Amari’s already sound asleep. Good thing Kevin is here to watch her, so I don’t waste more time. “Watch Amari.” I get up from the couch and head straight for the door.
Enough with the what-ifs. I know what I need to do now, and it’s long overdue. I need to tell Blakely how I really feel. No more holding back—no more second-guessing myself. She needs to know where I stand and what’s been going on in my head all this time. Because the truth is, she can’t make a choice unless she knows what’s on the table.
I don’t know how she’ll react. Hell, I don’t even know if it’ll change anything. But I can’t keep living with this weight on my shoulders, wondering what could’ve been if I’d just spoken up. It’s up to her after that. Whether she stays with him or gives us another shot, at least I’ll know I laid it all out. That I tried. And if she chooses him, at least I’ll know I didn’t go without ever telling her how I truly feel.
Kai
I've been trying to figure out how I’m going to reenact our old times and get her to come outside. I don’t want to just text her and tell her, even though that is the way we used to do it when we were teenagers. My heart races as I turn down her street. Even though this isn’t the street I used to pick her up on, the memories of us sneaking out are resurfacing. I can remember the first night I asked her and how nervous I was. Good thing I had some vodka beforehand, because that helped calm my nerves.
“How grown I thought I was walking around with a vodka slushy.” I sigh to myself.
I gave her some of it, too. I still remember the face she made when she took a gulp. I felt bad that I didn’t warn her. I thought she had drank before, but after that, I knew she wasn’t the normal type of girl who would chase after me—the ones whodrank to get any male attention. I was never one to fall for that, but then I turned Blakely into that. Well, at least the attention she was trying to get was mine, and she didn’t have to get drunk to get it. I really was a bad influence on her. How would her life have turned out if she hadn’t met me?
I turn my lights off and slowly pass her house. There is a light shining through the windows onto the front porch. She must be watching TV in her living room.Is she still awake?
I sayfuck itand pull out my phone and decide to text her. My hands are trembling as I scroll down to her name:Beautiful.
Me: I’m outside.
The same wordsI used to tell her when I would pull up to her house all those years ago.
Three dots keep appearing and then disappearing on my phone screen. I know she’s confused. I parked a little down from her house, like I did when we used to sneak out. If she’s looking through her window, she won’t see me.
Beautiful: ???
Me: Come out, and you’ll see what I mean.
A few minutes later,I see her speed-walking down the sidewalk in her robe, her arms crossed over her chest. The closer she gets, the deeper the worry lines on her forehead appear.
Oh, shit.I hope she doesn’t think anything is wrong with Amari.
She swings the passenger side door open, jumps in, and looks at me with wide eyes before looking in the back seat. “What is going on? Where is Amari?” She stares at me dead in the face.
I reach over and grab her hand off her chest as she holds her breath. “Everything is fine. I’m sorry. I was trying to do something. I shouldn’t have done it like this. I didn’t think it through.”
She lets out a sigh. “Do what?”
As I hold her left hand in mine, I notice her empty finger. She’s not wearing the ring. Thank God. I don’t need another fucking reminder. Then, I notice she has the necklace I bought her. She keeps that on, but not the engagement ring. Is she having second thoughts about the engagement? Why would someone take their engagement ring off but not the necklace? Especially at night when you’re going to go to sleep.
“Do you remember when you were drunk, and I dropped you off?”
