“Have you talked to your mom?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“You haven’t wanted to try to talk to her?”
“She’s hurt and I’m hurt. I know what I did was wrong, but she didn’t have to disown me.” I take a bite of the fried banana, and the crispy cinnamon sugar crust and tender banana melts into my mouth.
“You could still try.”
I stay silent, narrowing my eyes at him.
“I get the feeling you’re both stubborn.”
“Why do you say that?” I question.
“Because neither of you are trying to talk to each other.”
Of course, I want to talk to her. There is so much she’s missed, and with every new milestone, she’s the first one I want to call—well, aside from Kai. I always thought that she would be there for most of my appointments. Like finding out I was pregnant and finding out the gender. However, I know this pregnancy came way too soon. Sooner than I expected. But I can’t change the past. I’m trying to make good with what I have now. Plus, I wouldn’t even know what I would say to her at this point. The look in her eyes when I told her about the pregnancy is a look that is still etched in my mind. I’ve disappointed her before. What child doesn’t disappoint their parents? But this time it hit her deep. Deeper than I ever imagined. Everything she went through with my dad, raising us, and now this. Even though I knowwhyshe said she can’t help me, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting when I think about it.
“Have you talked to your parents? You don’t seem like you talk to them much.”
Kai finishes the last bite of his steak. “No.”
“Why don’t you talk about them?” He always avoids talking about his parents. He’s had his fair share of struggles with them, but I don’t understand why he doesn’t let me in. Since we’ve both had struggles with our parents, it seems like he would be more open to talking to me about it. I’m not one to judge, and I wouldn’t, anyway.
“There is nothing to talk about. My dad is an alcoholic, and my mom is depressed from their split and hardly wants to talk to anyone. There’s not much more to say.”
I take a sip of my lemonade, dropping the subject. I don’t want to pry and ruin the night.
A couple of hours later, we get home.
“Did you like Tucanos?” I ask as we lie together in bed. It was Kai’s first time going to the restaurant.
“Yes. We’ll have to go more.”
“I’m down for that.”
“I’m sure you are. Especially with those cheese bread and fried bananas.”
We both chuckle.
He turns on his side, placing his hand gently on my stomach; his touch sends butterflies swarming through me. I inch a little closer, feeling the heat radiate from his body as I rest my head on the side of his chest. He rubs my stomach softly, tracing his fingers around my belly button. Our eyes meet, and his hand travels to my breast. My breath quickens with growing anticipation. He gazes into my eyes with so much hunger, and then he leans down, and his lips find mine. Our tongues collide, and the heat of our breath radiates between us. Every time we are intimate, it feels as if the world fades away. My hand movesdown to his pants. After releasing his belt and unbuttoning his pants, I finally feel him; he’s already so hard. Trailing my hand up to the top of his boxers, I squeeze, wrapping my fingers around his penis and stroking his length. His breaths deepen with a groan.
He reaches down and pulls my leggings off of me, lightly trailing his fingers down my center and making me kiss him deeper as my urgency builds. I pull my shirt and bra off, exposing my breasts, and he leans down and softly kisses my nipple, causing a warm sensation to erupt in my center. I grip the bottom of his shirt and pull it up to his chest, but he quickly takes it from me and rips it from his body.
His fingers find my clit, and he circles it with perfect precision. I move closer to him and continue to stroke him as he pants. On instinct, I arch into him, pressing our bodies together. Every touch is growing my desperate need for him. My breathing becomes shallower, and my heart rate increases with his touch. The pressure is building, and my center is contracting until it’s so intense that my orgasm takes over, making my legs shake as I finally give in to my release.
As I catch my breath, Kai turns me on my side. His chest presses up against my back, and he trails the head of his penis to my center, making me moan from the pressure of his tip hitting my opening. He slowly guides his way in as he grips my hip. The fullness is building with each thrust. His breathing deepens again, and his groans grow more frantic. The tension of his orgasm is building with the quickening pace of his thrusts. He lets out a loud moan as he says my name, and his body convulses as he finally gives in, too.
We lie together as our chests rise and fall quickly. He places a kiss on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my waist. The tender moment makes me feel closer to him. It’s anemotional connection that can’t be explained with words, but the intense intimacy makes me feel deeply loved by him.
I wouldn’t trade these moments with Kai for anything in the world.
March 2010
“Cheers!” everyone yells—except me, since I can’t drink. But I still go around and clink my red cup against all the other red cups and take a sip of my Dr. Pepper.
It’s March 19th—Kai’s birthday. We’re celebrating it over at Kevin’s since our place is smaller than his. Kai isfinallyeighteen. It’s helped both of us relax a little, knowing he’s now an adult and has more freedom.
