“It’s hard to explain because it’s more of a feeling than anything.”
“When she ungrounds you this time, you can’t sneak out anymore.”
“Then we would hardly see each other.” I groan.
“It’s better than not seeing each other at all.”
“You’re right.”
I’m getting mixed feelings from Kai. He’s the one who gave me the courage to sneak out, and now he’s telling me to stop. Iguess that’s good, but it makes me feel like he doesn’t want to see me as much as he used to.
I pause and take a deep breath.
If I think logically, I know he cares about me—and a lot. He doesn’t want me to sneak out and get in even more trouble, and that shows just how much he cares.
“It will be easier soon. I’m so close to buying a car, so I won’t have to share with Kevin anymore.”
My face lights up. I gasp, pure excitement rushing through my veins.
“Oh, my gosh! I can’t wait.”
Kai and I end up talking for hours and don’t hang up until my mom forces me off the phone. Our conversation just kept going and going, and neither of us even realized how long we’d been on the phone for. It’s so easy to talk to him. His voice was just what I needed to make me feel better. He never makes me feel less about myself for things I tell him. He never makes me feel like I’m dumb for having the feelings I do, especially about other girls. It’s comforting knowing I won’t be belittled for sharing whatever I want with him.
December 2009
I walk into school with an extra skip in my step, knowing I’m going to see Kai. These last five days have dragged on for way too long. As I walk through the front doors of the school, my stomach churns.Not this again.What is it about the smell of the school that makes me want to vomit? Is it the smell of everyone’s body odor mingling together? It can’t be that because last week it was the smell of the food the lunch ladies were cooking.
Kai’s back is to me as he talks to someone. I don’t care who it is. I press my chest against his back and wrap my arms around him, feeling his muscles beneath his sweater. He looks over his shoulder at me and pulls me around to his chest. Allison comes into view. This bitch does not take a hint.
I give her a smirk and lead Kai away from her. She groans and walks away.
Kai grabs both of my cheeks and kisses me softly. “I missed you.”
“I missed you more.” My head rests against his chest.
“That’s not possible.”
“Ew, get a room.”
I lift my head from his chest and see Paige staring at us. I let go of Kai and hug her. “You’re just jealous.”
“Maybe I am.” She giggles.
I give Kai a big, long kiss before we say our goodbyes.
Half an hour later, the aroma of food travels up to the classroom and hits me. In an instant, I’m running to the bathroom, slamming to the ground, and vomiting my breakfast out.
What the fuck?I whisper as I lay my back against the stall once again. Maybe I’m allergic to certain foods now, and the smell is making me sick.
The door to the bathroom opens up. Paige stares at me with a frown.
“B, are you pregnant?” she mumbles.
“What!” I exclaim. “You’re dumb. No.”
“No, you’re dumb if you are. And by the way it looks, I think you are.”
My shoulders round as I think of all the symptoms I’ve been having. Could I be? I suddenly can’t recall the last period I had.
