THIRTY-EIGHT
______
SEAN
I waited until after Roger’s plane left before coming back to the house. Not only so I wouldn’t have to look at his face anymore, but also to give Dante time to cool down, so he would be willing to hear me out when I tried to explain. A few hours with Gabi, plus multiple cups of coffee, had me primed to fight for my future with Dante. He would listen to what I had to say, if I had to tie him up and gag him to make him listen.
When I stormed through the wrought iron gate and out to the patio, I found him stretched out on his usual sun lounge. I’d witnessed the same scene dozens of times in the past couple of months. His guitar at his side. Notebooks and ballpoint pens scattered around him.
Coming to a sudden stop at the foot of the lounge, I glared down at him. He slid his sunglasses off as he peered up at me. “Welcome home, Sean.”
Fuck, he was using the sex voice. Was it a trick? Did he want to drive me insane before he ended it?
“I’m sorry I fucked up.” The words burst out, louder than I’d planned. After a couple of shallow breaths, I tried again. “I made you a promise. No more lies. Then, I broke it and I’m so sorry. But you can’t blame me for not knowing the right thing to do. I only found out the truth about what Roger did a few days ago. And I was so angry with him, and so worried about what it would do to you if you found out the truth. Roger’s your family, you need him in your life, I know you do. I didn’t want to fuck that up for you. Do you think I could stand to see you hurting when you lost him?”
Somewhere in the middle of my rant, Dante had risen from the lounge to stand in front of me. “Sean,” he said when I finally ran out of breath, “I don’t—”
“Stop right there,” I interrupted. “Don’t say anything else yet.” If he wanted to break up with me, he was going to have to wait until after I was done with the rest of my speech. I didn’t go to all the trouble of preparing it, only to have it pre-empted. “You trusted me, and I know I let you down,” I continued, shifting back and forth from one foot to the other as I stared at him. “And the worst thing is, I know I’m going to do it again. I’m not the perfect boy you had in your memory all those years. I’m a person and I’m going to screw up sometimes.” This part of the speech sounded way better when I practised it in front of Gabi. Maybe it would be better if I skipped to the conclusion section.
“I want to make a new promise.” I took a shaky breath, terrified I’d waited too long to say the words out loud. The words he’d been needing to hear. “I love you, Dante. I promise to always love you, to be there for you, and to never, ever leave you again. That’s a promise I can keep, because the only place I want to be is by your side.”
He pulled his lips between his teeth and I got the impression he was trying not to smile. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be behind me?” he suggested. “Or possibly in front of me? I’m discovering I’m quite versatile.”
My mouth fell open. “Are you serious, right now? I’m declaring my undying love for you and you’re cracking sex jokes?” God damn it, this was serious!
“You’re right. I’m terribly sorry,” he said, schooling his features into something that was probably supposed to reflect the seriousness of the conversation. “Please, declare away.”
I didn’t know whether to strangle him or start laughing. The man drove me crazy. “I mean it, Dante,” I insisted, jabbing a finger at his chest. “I know you have a right to be mad at me, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re mine and I’m not letting you go. We’re in this together, whether you like it or not—”
“I like it!” He said the words in the space provided by my need to draw breath.
I stumbled over whatever it was I’d planned to say next. “What?”
Stepping forward, he took hold of my hands. “If you’d stop lecturing me for one second, I could tell you I don’t blame you for not telling me what Roger did. I’m not happy about it, but I know you were trying to do the right thing. And I realise youwereactually trying to protect me. Not my career, or my reputation, like Roger’s always done. You were trying to save my relationship with my father, even when there wasn’t much to save,” he added with a weary sigh. “You’ve always been in my corner, Sean, no matter what. In the end, that’s what counts. So, I forgive you, and I love you. Always will.”
My entire body sagged against him. “Oh, thank fuck.” And then his arms were around me and mine were around him and the world went back to making sense. “I was so scared I’d lost you.”
“Never going to happen,” he murmured in my ear. “You’re stuck with me, remember?”
I drew back to cup his face in my hands. “Good,” I said with a nod. “Stuck is good.” Leaning in, I kissed him, allowing my lips to linger against his. It was a few minutes before I spoke again. “We’ll have to find a house, you know.”
He lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “We will?”
“Yeah, well, your time at the retreat is almost up and the place has been booked out by some pop star wannabes for next month. And the flat belongs to the retreat host, which will no longer be me. I figured, since we both have to leave here, we could find a place together.” I was rambling, which was probably better than lecturing, but only just. “You still need to finish the album, after all. That will take time. It has to be promoted and released. The tour has to be planned. It’ll be a while before we jet off into the sunset. We have to live somewhere until then.”
His face broke out into a smile that could have lit up a stadium. “You’re coming on tour with me?”
“Yes,” I said with a nod. “In fact, my cameras and I have pretty much decided to follow you around wherever you go. Before the tour, after the tour.” I met his gaze as I smiled. “My home is wherever you are.”
Reaching out, he took my face in his hands and dragged me in for a kiss. “I love you, so much.” His arms came around me, holding me against him. “Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”
“Me, either,” I said with a laugh. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say yes. The idea of us being together has always been my favourite fantasy. It seemed too good to be true. But it’s not a fantasy anymore, it’s life. It’s the life I want to share with you.”
“You are my life, Sean,” he murmured, touching his forehead to mine. “Now and always.”
His words set my heart to pounding in all the good ways. I’d officially run out of impossible fantasies and wild dreams. Dante had made every one of them come true.
