THIRTY-TWO
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SEAN
“What’s going on with you?”
I looked up from the resume I’d been reading to meet my father’s gaze. “Nothing.”
“Don’t bullshit me, Sean” he scoffed. “Something’s rolling about in that head of yours. You might as well get it out before it breaks something important.”
Sighing, I tossed the printed pages back onto the pile. I’d figured this conversation was coming. Dad had been looking at me funny ever since Dante had left without me after dinner. I’d used the excuse I was staying longer to help Dad go over the applications he’d received when he advertised the host position I’d soon vacate. We’d only been in his office a few minutes when he began digging for the truth.
“Dante wants me to go on tour with him as the official photographer,” I told him. “We’d keep our relationship a secret, but at least we’d be together.”
“Official tour photographer?” A grin broke out on his face. “That’s a hell of an opportunity, son. Are you going?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I said, shrugging a shoulder. “Having to hide would be a big deal for me. But even without that, the idea of dropping everything to run away with a rock star, travelling the world and living my wildest career dreams? It seems so unreal.”
My father snorted. “It’ll seem pretty damned real when you’ve barely slept in three days and you’re living off airport food, trust me.”
“You get what I mean,” I said, giving him a look. “It’s everything I’ve ever wanted all rolled up in one neat little package. Dante, my cameras, music, travel, it’s like some freaking fantasy. How long can it possibly last?”
“Not long at all if you don’t get your head on straight.” My father sat forward in his chair, a frown pulling at his brow. “It’s okay to be scared, Sean. Reaching for what you want, knowing there’s a possibility it won’t work out, that’s some scary shit. But even if you stayed here and fell in love with some average bloke who lived locally and had a steady lifestyle, loving someone is still scary shit and there’s never any guarantee it will work. Dante’s life might be different from the norm, but that doesn’t make it less valid. It’s still a life, and he’s still a person, same as the rest of us.” He gave me a smile. “One thing I can tell you for sure, that man is head over heels in love with you. It’s in every line of every song on that album he’s killing himself to get right.”
“I haven’t heard the album,” I admitted, crossing my arms. “He hasn’t offered to play it for me.”
“Yeah, well, opening up to someone that way? That’s some pretty scary shit, too, and the last time he did it you walked out of the studio.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Dante’s song had gutted me that day. I hadn’t been able to stay, not without everything in my heart spilling out onto my face. I hadn’t considered how Dante had felt about my disappearance. I’d been too busy saving my own arse.
“That was just a taste of the wounds he’s torn open to get where he’s at now,” Dad added. “Maybe he’s worried if you see all of him, you’ll keep right on walking.”
I would never walk away from Dante, not again. It wasn’t an option for me anymore.
“Dante hasn’t told Roger about you two, has he?” he guessed. “That’s why you came here in separate cars. Why you’re giving him time to get back to the retreat before you. So Roger won’t realise you were out together tonight.”
“Pretty much, yeah,” I admitted. “This is all new to Dante. He’s wary of what it will mean for him. That’s why he wants to keep things between us for now, take it slow.”
Huffing out a laugh, Dad shook his head. “I would think eight years would be slow enough for anyone.”
I froze, my mouth dropping open. “How did you…?”
A smug grin appeared on his face. “I always knew.” He cleared his throat, then. Shifted in his chair. There was more to it than him knowing about our first kiss. “I never saw any reason to tell you what happened after Roger found you and Dante together, until now.” He paused, his gaze drilling a hole in the top of his desk. “I figure you have a right to know what you’re up against when he finds out about you two.”
My pulse thudded heavily as the blood rushed through my veins. “What are you talking about?”
“Roger came to see me after the concert ended that night, all bluster and threats.” I shouldn’t have been surprised. It wouldn’t have been hard for him to find out who I was. I’d travelled with my father heaps of times. Lots of people there knew me as Phil Kelland’s kid. “He said he found you attempting to seduce Dante. Claimed you were a bad influence on his son.”
“I seduced Dante?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “I was a scrawny kid with the social skills of a fruit fly.”
“It doesn’t matter what actually happened,” he said with a frown. “Roger only cared about making sure no one ever found out about it, and that the two of you never saw each other again.”
Apparently, Roger Sinclair had come to the same conclusion I had. Now we knew to look for each other, the chances of Dante and I meeting at another concert or festival would have been high.
“He gave me an ultimatum,” Dad continued. “If I didn’t give up performing on the circuit, he would ruin my reputation.” His voice was quieter than usual as he spoke. “Roger threatened to tell people I cornered Dante in his dressing room. That I’d been inappropriate with him.” He cleared his throat again. “There was no proof of course but, once mud’s been thrown, it tends to stick.”
My gut clenched. I wanted to throw up.
