“Hey, baby.” The door to the garage clicks shut, and Trent immediately starts to undo his tie.
“Hey.” I drag the word out as I sidle up to him and wrap my arms around his waist, squeezing myself into his chest.
He kisses the top of my head as he pulls me even closer. “Did you have a good day?”
“I did. It was nice to not have to worry about this email or that one. In fact, I got something from Jessica’s class mom and was so relieved I didn’t have to send the email and worry about it. There’s some party coming up. I’ll still volunteer to send something in but it’s nice not having to organize it.” A shudder runs through me at the thought.
Oh the many activities and parties I not only planned and organized, but also attended.
A heavy sigh pulls from my chest. While I much prefer the life I have now, the newer one where my time is spent at home and not as much in front of the laptop sending and responding to emails, a part of me does miss it. I wasgoodat being the class mom. No there’s no award for me to win or any recognition besides a thank you from the teacher and occasional parent, but I know I did the job well.
It was just exhausting. And time consuming. In no way, shape, or form did it make me a more successful mother, but it did give me some sense of purpose. I’ve had to reevaluate that now that I’m not doing those tasks.
But Trent has helped, as have the kids. I find that they come to me more with simple tasks, homework, and just life questions where before they either didn’t ask or went to Trent. I didn’t even realize some of the things I was missing until I was no longer stuck on my laptop or preparing for the next event.
It’s not so much that I miss that aspect of my former life, because I definitely don’t. It’s just that now I feel like I’m missing some vital part of myself and a few months into the school year am still trying to figure out what to do with my time.
The house has never been cleaner, the piles of laundry don’t exist anymore. Trent doesn’t care if I sit on my ass all day and do nothing, as long as I’m happy. And I love him for that. But I’m bored. I didn’t realize how much I relied on being class mom to give me something to do during the day.
Trent’s hands around my waist pulls me back to the current situation. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your time without that nonsense.”
“I’m still getting used to what to do with myself.”
“The house is spotless. Which is nice to come home to. But don’t feel like you need to do anything.” He spins me around and loops a curl behind my ear. “I told you, I just want you happy. If that means you sit and read books all day, so be it.”
“I am happy. Really. More so than I’ve been in years and it’s just thanks to not having as much stress. I’ll figure out how to fill my time in a productive manner. Besides, I’m still Charlie’s class mom, and that ramps up as the year goes on. Field trips and all that jazz. And then of course graduation.” Tears fill my eyes, but I glance at the ceiling before they spill. “How is our baby graduating preschool already?”
Trent pulls me into his chest and sways us back and forth. “Let’s have another one,” he whispers the words in my ear.
I jerk back as shock coils around my spine. “Another one?”
“Why not? You’re bored, babies are a full-time job. And you’re an amazing mom. Why not add one more to the bunch?”
Aside from the fact that I don’t especially love being pregnant, there isn’t really a reason. “Why don’t we just see what happens?” It’s worked in the past. Just kind of pulling the goalie and waiting to see how things go. That’s how we ended up with Kendall.
A wide smile spans his face, and I immediately know it’s something he’s been wanting for a while.
“Seems like maybe it’d be something that would make both of us happy. You should have said something when you started thinking about it.” I trail my finger down his jaw and briefly press my lips to his.
“Things were in a weird place between us. I didn’t want to add anything that seemed like a burden. Besides, you barely let me touch you with a ten-foot pole.”
“I wasn’tthatbad.”
“Maybe not but it felt like it sometimes.” There’s a disgruntledness to his tone.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We both had our things going on. I’m just glad we’re back to where we are now.”
“Me too.”
“So, you want to go practice now, or…”
Playfully I smack his chest, and he plays the good husband role and winces before laughing. He pulls me tightly against his chest and loses a hand in my dark curls.
“I love you. And all I want in this life is you and your happiness. Whatever that means.”
“I love you too.”
