“Then I would have found a way to come to you. I missed you too much, Les. I had to be with you again. The second I saw you, I knew there was no other way than for us to be together again.”
To calm my racing heart, I take a minute to close my eyes and breathe deeply through my nose. It’s a technique Dad taught me a long time ago about how to calm myself in stressful situations.
“It’s fine, Trent. I just don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“You’re perfect. Do you know that? Just…the perfect woman.”
“Trust me, I’m not.”
“To me, you are.” He takes my face between his hands and pulls my mouth to his. “Just…one more thing and then we can let this go forever. I hate that guy. And any guy who’s gotten to be with you and feel you and, fuck, even just kiss you. I hate them all.”
“Right back at you. I hate any woman you’ve been with.”
“Understood. Glad we could clear the air. And because I made everything a mess and uncomfortable, I’ll let you pick TV for the rest of the day, and we’ll order from your favorite Chinese place tonight.”
I perk up at that. He certainly knows how to make me happy. And boy does he have a lot of time to make up for.
Chapter 17
Present Day
Thatwaswhentheresentment toward Trent had started. Hearing what he’d done and knowing that he was frustrated by my actions while we weren’t together. But it seems I’m not the only one holding some frustration and resentment about our time apart.
I thought he’d moved past the David situation. I know he doesn’t like the guy, and I can’t blame him there, but I didn’t know that everything else bothered him as much as it does.
David is nothing but a memory that keeps pestering me. And Trent’s right, I should have removed him on social media. Yet as I sit with my laptop open and a glass of pinot noir in my hand, I can’t seem to click the button to unfriend and unfollow.
It’s not so much that I’m worried about missing out on anything. It just seems mean and unnecessary. David hasn’t done anything wrong. Even if he is waiting on the sidelines hoping for something to happen between me and Trent, that doesn’t mean I’d run to him if something were to happen.
In fact, I know I wouldn’t.
If something were to happen between me and Trent, I’d surely turn into a pile of depressed mush and never date again. I certainly wouldn’t decide to just turn to a flame from a decade ago.
I know why he thinks it would happen and part of that is because I have the connection on social media still. And he’s said in the past how easy it was for me to just fall back in love with him. At first, he found it endearing. But now I wonder if he thinks I just hold onto feelings of those I’ve been with in the past to go back to them at some point.
It’s not like that with David. It never was. He was a life raft while I was struggling to stay afloat in a sea of misery and missing Trent. But it wasn’t until I was at Stanford and back with Trent that I was finally safely ashore. If something happened between us, I’d end up drowning.
The problem I find myself in is that I don’t know how to convince Trent that David is nothing but an old boyfriend. Even if we see him at the reunion, there’s not going to be any feelings cropping up, at least not from me.
I just don’t know how to get Trent to believe that.
“What’s on your mind, Leslie?” Mrs. Belleville’s voice pulls me from my mind. I’m doing that too much lately, disappearing into my head. This damn reunion is making me all out of sorts.
She’s a sweet older lady, probably in her fifties. From what I’ve heard she’s an important teacher in this school. I’m happy Jessica has her this year. She’s not only been a great teacher for her but has made being a class mom fairly easy with her open communication, not expecting much, and just being a friendly and polite human being.
“Just some marital things.” I carefully apply another sticker to the inside cover of an early reader and place it in the pile. That makes ten that I’ve done without even paying attention. I hope the stickers are on straight.
“Anything you need to talk out?” While I’ve become friendly with Lisa, I’m not about to start sharing marital secrets. Besides she may have Kendall or Charlie in future years. I don’t need anybody looking at my husband with hungry eyes knowing we may be in trouble.
“Actually, I have a reunion coming up and my husband is just a little worried about a high school boyfriend being in attendance and that said boyfriend still has feelings for me.” When I say it out loud it sounds a little crazy.
“Ah. Yes. It can be difficult, these reunions. I know my husband had some of the same worries about mine. And didn’t you and your husband go to the same high school? So he’s somewhat likely to know this other guy.”
“We did, yes. He knowsofhim more than actually knows him.”
“Maybe that’s part of the problem. He doesn’t know this other man, so he doesn’t know his true intentions. Just because you wouldn’t stray doesn’t mean this other guy won’t try.” That’s something I hadn’t considered. It’s not necessarily that Trent doesn’t trust me and where my feelings lie but doesn’t trust that David won’t make a move.
For him to think I’d ever give in to that would be insanity. Though I guess it’s possible he doesn’t and just doesn’t want David flirting with me.
