The pain in his voice guts me. “Garrett—” And then I put it together. He was hoping to spend the night with me. It never crossed my mind. Well, it had, but I’d dismissed it just as quickly. Lanie would find out. I’m not ready for that. And neither is Garrett.
“It’s fine.” He crosses his arms and turns as if he’s leaving, and the panic threatens to choke me.
“You said you wouldn’t ignore me.”
He sighs. “What do you want me to do, Aidyn?”
And that hurts more than it should. “Sit at a table with me. Talk to me.”
He nods, and I lead him through the crowd, keeping my eyes forward. He’ll follow or not. My hand itches to grab his and close this gap between us. Someone knocks into me and my feet get tangled. Garrett’s hand moves to my back, steadying me, and emotion floods through me.
“So sorry, Christy,” Mrs. Weppler says, swaying a bit. Her breath smells like peach schnapps. She slips again and grabs my sleeve. Garrett tries to steady her, but she ignores him and pats my arm. Christ, she’s hammered. “I’m glad you could use the cake you made for—” She chokes back a sob. “It was so beautiful.” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. This is a celebration. Let’s drink!”
We manage to extract ourselves from Mrs. Weppler and find an empty table. Garrett grabs drinks for us, and we sit close together so we can talk without being overheard. People are giving us looks, but one glare from me seems to settle their curiosity.
Garrett chuckles. “You being grumpy is so normal that no one bats an eye.”
I don’t laugh. I can’t. Did I fuck everything up? I gulp my beer. “What’s bothering you?”
My eyes connect with his over the top of my glass.
He glances away. “I think you know.”
“I do,” I admit. “But I’m not exactly sure why.”
“Why do you have to be an ass? Is that your question?”
I almost smile. “No. That’s just who I am.”
The music slows and couples move to the dancefloor. I can’t remember the last time I danced with anyone. What would it be like to dance with Garrett? Hold him in my arms? In front of everyone? It would be life-changing. And terrifying.
He leans forward, resting his arms on the table and putting his hands together. “I thought… I know we can’t tell people. Not—” He sucks in a breath and his eyes dart to mine and away. “But I thought we’d get tonight.”
“How?” I lean down and catch his gaze. “How did you think we could do that? Me sneaking to your hotel? You sneaking into my house…with Lanie there? What you told me before…about how you feel.”I fucking love you, Aidyn Christy.“I’m not ready for anyone to know. But this has to be hard for you.”
“Stop,” he says in a hard voice. His back is rigid, like a wall between us. “I never expected anything. That’s not why I told you.”
“Then what do you want, Garrett?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t do that. I’m asking, okay?”
He rolls his shoulders and relaxes, but only a bit. The tension is still in his eyes and the tight line of his mouth. “I want more than a quickie in the restroom.”
Ouch. I lower my voice. “I want more than that too, darlin’, I do. But I just don’t see how.”
He smiles. But it’s his customer service smile. The same one he used to give me. “Fine.”
“Garrett…”
He scoots his chair around toward the dancefloor. We’re facing opposite directions now, and he leans over so his face is close to mine. “That’s how we’re different, Aidyn. I want you so much that even if it’s only one night, I’d do everything in my power to make it happen.” Then his eyes find mine, andalthough only inches separate us, we’re miles apart. “I guess you just have to want it bad enough.”
He stands. Oh God, this is it. Fuck. I grab his hand, but let go before anyone can see. The brief hope in his eyes vanishes.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Are you leaving?”
“Not yet.” He smiles, but sadness lingers at the corner of his mouth. Resigned. As if this is the outcome he expected all along. “But soon.”
