Do you want to come and watch the mating?
She flinches, and that perversely makes me happy.“No, I most certainly do not.”She turns her face away.
Even that small movement upsets me.I step closer, the gravel under my feet crunching.Why not?
Her head snaps back, her eyes bright.“Does it matter?”One eyebrow rises.“Would it make a difference how I felt or what I wanted?”
I shake my head slowly.
“I thought not.”She sighs.“Are the earth dragons happy that they’re stronger?”
Happy?
“Are they at least relieved?”she asks.“Are you relieved to have Azar back?”She tosses her head.“Of course not.You forgot you even died.”She balls up her fists and the fluffy thing squeaks.She leans down and presses her mouth to its head in a movement that makes a strange sound.“Sorry, Fluff Dog.”
Do not do that.
“What?”Her eyebrows rise.“Kiss my dog?”
Kiss.Yes, don’t do that.
Her lips quirk upward on one side.“You know, you’re almost as scary as Axel as you are as Azar.That must be nice—no more fear.”
I was never afraid.
“Liar.”But then the corner of her mouth twists a lot more, and bizarrely, I know what it means.She’s mocking me again.
“At least you’re done with the secrets.I’m sure that’s nice.”
She saidyou’re—the emphasis on that word—and that implies she has some kind of secret.What are you hiding, Liz Chadwick?
“Things you couldn’t understand if you wanted to.”
Try.
She sighs loudly.“A thousand tiny moments.”Something glistens on her cheek, and she wipes it away.She turns away from me and inhales sharply.Then she carefully shifts the head of the child on her lap to the bottom of the cage and stands, stepping toward me.
It excites me for some reason, her moving closer.I hate the feeling.
“What secrets am I hiding?”Her laugh’s bitter.“I’m not hiding them very well, clearly.You were my whole world, Axel, and you don’t even remember me.Not a moment, not a glance.”Her voice drops.“Not a single touch.”She holds my gaze for another moment, and then she turns and walks to the back of the cage, her wings fluffing up until I can’t see her at all.
I almost don’t hear her, either.
“Now, go away and leave me alone.Forever, if you don’t mind.”
That won’t work.I don’t understand all her talking, all the human words and sentiments.Asteria wants you—she asked for me to give you to her as a gift.As I say the words, the heat of my rage rises up inside.I’m probably angry because I don’t share.But now that I’m mating, I should be able to honor one small request.You and your other small humans and the noisy fur thing will all come with me.
“You know, there’s a famous human who said it’s better to love and lose something than never to love at all.”
Love?What is this word, love?The small human mentioned it, too.
“That man was an idiot, but not quite as dumb as me.”
What does the word mean?
“It’s when you care so much about another person that you would rather be harmed than watch them struggle.You would ratherdiethan watch them be hurt.You would do anything—everything—they might ever need—you would burn the world down to spare them pain.”
It sounds horrible.
