“Okay. I don't want to scream in your face.”
Penny quirked an eyebrow. “It would be fun. I never get to experience that because we're usually in an office.”
Brett pressed down again and gritted his teeth. “These walls are not that thick.”
“I'll keep arguing with you if it helps.”
Brett wheezed and tried to force his lungs to pull in air. He was a hockey player, for crying out loud. He’d taken elbows to the head, sticks to his thighs, and every part of himself to the boards. Now he wanted to cry like a baby because Penny was asking him to straighten his damn leg.
Penny’s voice hummed. “This sucks. I know it sucks, but the faster we can safely get this mobility back, the faster you can build up your muscle again.”
The pain clawed at his nerves so intently he barely heard her. Penny adjusted her grip, and Brett gasped, trying to keep tears from filling his eyes.
“You can stop if you want. We can—”
“No,” Brett grunted.
Penny's hands landed on both sides of his face. Her touch was cool. Centering. She nodded once. “Okay. Breathe. Small break, and then we go again.”
_____
Brett was still shaking when Penny helped him to his room. She hadn't gone easy on him, and a part of her felt a little guilty. She never would have pushed the discomfort to that level with another patient. Not because it wasn’t safe but because most people couldn’t hack it. She hadn't been lying when she said she never had to deal with the aftermath. When people came in, they were usually accompanied by a loved one who helped them home.
She was helping, even if it looked like hurting at the moment, but she also had to witness Brett's expression as he shuffled into his bedroom alone. There was no loved one in there to help him into the tub, and while she’d retrieved the ice pack from the freezer for him, he dismissed the idea of her sitting at his bedside.
The pain he was experiencing was no joke, but what else could she do? Penny shut off the lights in the front room and locked the door, then retreated to her bedroom. She groaned when she remembered that Brett had to go in-person to work the next morning. Maybe they should have waited to have their first session until the following night.
Penny readied herself for bed and checked her email. There was nothing new besides a few confirmations that her job applications had been submitted. She didn’t expect anyone to get back to her so soon, but she could always hope.
It was only nine-thirty, but their session had taken a lot out of her, too. She was exhausted. When she stared at her bed, she remembered the quilt situation and berated herself for not stopping over at Kelty's when they went grocery shopping that afternoon. It looked like it would be another night under a sheet wearing a hoodie. It was the least of her concerns, really. She set a reminder for herself to stop at Kelty’s the next day, then climbed into bed and went to sleep.
There was less crying than the night before but more tossing and turning. She didn't know if that was a step up. At least after sobbing for a while, she'd slept fairly peacefully. Instead, every time she woke that night, she thought about Brett and wondered if she should check on him. When she blurred between sleep and consciousness the last time, Penny checked her phone and saw it was just a few minutes before five-thirty, the time her alarm was set to go off.
She rolled out of bed and threw on her sweatshirt over her tank top and shorts. At least she'd already broken the morning face and breath barrier with Brett the day before. No need for pretense.
Brett was already in the kitchen with all the ingredients for his shake lined up on the counter.
“Do you want one?” he asked.
Penny nodded. Since arguing with him the other day had profited her nothing, she decided to give in and take what he offered. She yawned and leaned over the counter, pulling her sleeves over her hands. “How did you sleep?”
“Do you want the real answer?”
Penny grimaced. “That bad?”
“The hot water and ice helped.”
“And hey, you didn’t die in the tub.” Penny yawned. “I'm so sorry, by the way. Are you sure you don't want to take anything?”
Brett shook his head, and now the assumptions she'd made before about why he wouldn’t take medication didn't quite seem as plausible. He didn't seem like a guy who would suffer through pain unnecessarily to prove his manliness.
“Are you going to be okay at work today?” she asked. Brett gave a single nod and turned to start the blender. Penny's heart squeezed. That ice behind his eyes made her want to wrap her arms around him and hold him until he thawed.
She could do it.She thought he might let her if she tried. That gap inside her ached to be filled with adoration and gratitude.If someone needed her,then she was valuable.And there again was that beautiful toxic trait rearing its ugly head. When would she be enough for herself?
The blender stopped, and Brett poured their shakes, dropping a straw into her cup without Penny even having to ask.
“Thank you.” She took it from him and drank. “Mmm. This one's different, it almost tastes like cinnamon.”
