She’d listened as he filled her in on his dad’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis ten years earlier. How he’d been declared cancer free, but now was in relapse. Refusing treatment since the odds were low he’d do more than languish in a hospital bed for months and die anyway.
Tyler described the end of his parents' marriage, how Troy had cheated on his mom at least twice that he knew about, and how he promised himself he’d never do that to a woman. Emma read between the lines.I’ll never get close to someone if I might hurt them.
Though she hadn’t admitted it in the cab, her heart mirrored his.I’ll never get close to someone if they might hurt me, and as he spoke, a realization had snapped into place.
That’s why she was drawn to men like Tyler. If she picked up a snake and got bit, she could never blame herself for deserving it. It was their fault, not hers. Her relationship with Alex broke down because he was a douchebag, not because Emma wasn’t loveable.
Not because she couldn’t make someone happy.
Not because she wasn’t enough.
Tyler had tried to walk her inside, but she’d asked him not to. She didn’t want him to see the tears welling in her eyes and think they were his fault. They weren’t.
"Earth to Emma!" Lindsey snapped her fingers in front of Emma's face, bringing her back to the studio. "You okay there?"
"Uh, yeah," Emma stammered, blushing. "This is just a big change."
"Hey," Vaughn crooned, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “We're all in this together. If this doesn’t work out, we’ll find something that does. I already have emails in to Crowe and Black. A couple of others, too.”
If this doesn’t work out.She needed to text Tyler. Ever since Sunday night, she’d waffled back and forth about what to do at work. Tyler hadn’t asked her to keep their ruse going, but how could she not want to help after hearing his story?
It would hurt. She knew that already. The way her body had wound like a spring seeing Tyler under that blond at the bar laid the truth bare in front of her face. She had feelings for him, and allowing him to touch her—kiss her—for a month was only going to make it worse, regardless of how many times she told herself it wasn’t real.
She would hope it was. She would want him to be something he wasn’t. Her lizard brain wouldn’t get the memo once his hands were on her skin.
“We need a picture,” Lindsey announced triumphantly, snapping shut the last case. She set her iPhone against the built-in cabinets and hustled to stand next to Emma and Vaughn. Emma wrapped her arms around her friends and smiled, then let Vaughn stack the boxes in her arms and open the door.
“Tomorrow.” He kissed her cheek.
Emma smiled and waved goodbye with the only three fingers that weren’t load-bearing, then loaded her car and drove home.
Emma parked, then trudged up the stairs to her apartment with the boxes in her arms. She fumbled with her keys, trying to find the right one without dropping everything, and managed to unlock the door before her hold slipped. With a sigh of relief, she pushed the door open with her boot and carried the boxes inside.
She set them down in the living room, wincing as her back protested. Emma arched and stretched her arms over her head. She wasn’t even thirty, which meant back pain wasn’t allowed.
She stalked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, grabbed a pre-packaged salad, and collapsed onto the couch. Flipping on the TV, she scrolled through her options before settling on a recorded episode of CTV’s version of the Bachelor. Trash TV was her guilty pleasure after work, and tonight she needed it more than usual.Please, Francesca, tell me how crushed your heart is because Billy didn’t take you home after your private date.
Her phone buzzed as she picked at her salad. She set down her fork, then nearly choked on a cherry tomato. A message from Tyler.
Hey, got the contract from Troy earlier today. First day tomorrow?
First day tomorrow. Emma’s chest felt like it was the bottle cap holding in the kombucha Vaughn had left fermenting too long in the studio fridge. She gave his comment a thumbs-up.
We’re packed up and ready to go
Francesca whined to the camera.“It just hurts, you know? To be here by myself and know he’s with her?”Emma took another forkful of greens.
I’ll be there to help with any clean up. The kitchen isn’t quite functional from what I hear
Thanks. I think we’ll start with desserts since they can be made off-site
Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard. She needed to bring it up, but they hadn’t talked since Sunday. Now it all felt awkward. Emma chewed her lip, considering her options.
Does Troy still think we’re together?
She typed it out and held her breath. There was a chance that Tyler had already broken up with her between Sunday and now. No point worrying about it if so.
Yes. Haven’t seen him in a couple of days. I can break the news if he stops by tomorrow
