Jude: I don't think so but I meant it when I said you don't have to send anything
Audrey: Sorry but I can't show up to a party being thrown in my honor without a gift for the hostess. The choices are to send flowers in advance or carve out a lobe of my liver and hand it to her at the door.
Jude: Those good girl manners die hard
Audrey: They die but they stick around and haunt the attic
I laughed and a heavy pressure built in my chest, right behind my breastbone. It was like indigestion but deeper—and worse. I really didn't have time for a heart attack.
Jude: Did you get your flight info?
Audrey: I did, thank you.
It annoyed me that I knew from that response she was holding something back. I wanted to wipe my memory of her quiet tells and quirks, and return to a time when I didn't think about her every minute of every day.
Jude: You're good with it?
Audrey: I'm worried about getting home in time for my friend's wedding.
Jude: You arrive in Boston on Thursday night. Your friend's wedding isn't until a full week after that.
Audrey: Right but we have a bunch of events before the wedding and I have the entire bachelorette bar crawl to plan. I can't get behind schedule.
Jude: I think you'll be okay for the bar crawl
A few minutes passed without another message from Audrey. There was nothing else to say and I needed to get some sleep but the pressure in my chest only increased. I checked my work email just to have a new problem to bother myself with but there was nothing waiting for me. I skimmed the headlines—depressing—and glanced at the weather in Seattle, where I was due for meetings later this week. Then I tried to get comfortable, but in this bed that wasn't much of an option.
I resented myself for it but I went back to our text thread.
Jude: My mother's always liked hydrangeas. The blue ones you'd see around Hartford in the summer.
Jude: She's mentioned it's something she misses now that she's in the desert
I rubbed a hand to my sternum, hoping to ease the twinge there. Didn't help.
Audrey: I appreciate that. Thank you.
Jude: Yeah, no problem
Audrey: I guess I'll see you in Phoenix this weekend then. Could you send me your itinerary so I know where to find you when I arrive? In case there are any delays with your flight?
Something snapped inside me, like an old rubber band stretched too far for too long. I went to my calendar though it didn't matter much what I found there because I'd already decided.
Jude: Small change of plans actually. I'm flying out with you from Boston.
Audrey: I thought you had to work on the west coast this week
Jude: Only the first part of the week
It wasn't true. Then again, none of this was true.
Audrey: Oh okay
Audrey: then I'll see you at the airport
But at least I could breathe without feeling like my chest was about to cave in now.
Jude: I'll pick you up
