"You will stay right there," she said, grabbing a handful of my shirt. "The ring has nothing to do with it."
"It has something to do with it." When she only rolled her eyes, I said, "Give me a few weeks to take care of you. We'll figure out who we are now, and if we like it, and if you want to keep that ring."
"I take care of myself just fine." She released my shirt as she motioned to the tidy yard, the house. As if that was all that required attention around here. Turning back to the blueberries, she said, "And anyway, I decided a long time ago that I don't want to be married again. Once was enough."
I stared at her as she sifted through the berries but she didn't glance over, didn't add any qualifications to that statement. NotOnce was enough with the wrong guy. NotI've wasted too much time on dickbag assholes. NotUnless it's to you.
I felt her silence like a boot to the chest but once I caught my breath, I realized this limit was no obstacle to me. So we didn't get married. That was fine. Why did we need to get thegovernment involved anyway? We didn't. We'd do whatever the fuck worked for us. Call it whatever we wanted.
"Works for me," I said, "but it's still your ring. Just tell me when you want it back."
"Jude."
Her voice was like steel but I couldn't hold back a grin. "Audrey."
She watched me for a beat, unimpressed and unyielding, before the façade cracked and a smile spread across her face. "I guess you're staying, then."
I took the blueberry bowl from her hands, set it aside. Pulled her closer, settled her in my lap. "Only if you want us to."
"Do you need to head back to see Brenda anytime soon? What happens next with all that?"
Yeah, I noticed her dodging my last comment. Hard not to. "In about three or four weeks. Another court date." I swallowed hard. "Penny's best friend Maddie filed a request to reassign Brenda's visitation to her."
Audrey shifted to glance back at me, her eyes wide. "Is that something she can do? It's not like custody is just…transferrable. Right?"
"You wouldn't think so," I said. "My attorney keeps saying the petition isn't strong but that we shouldn't ignore it." I ran my fingers through her hair, watching as the sun caught the pale gold strands. "She's been angling for this since Penny died."
"But you're his father," she said, as if that answered every question.
If only it did. "To Brenda and Maddie, I'm the sperm donor who won't go away. The majority of the petition details how I wasn't involved in Percy's life until a few months after he was born."
"Okay but he's almost five," she said. "You've been with him for more than a minute. Doesn't that count for something?"
"It does," I said. "But Maddie was there when he was born. She's been an aunt to him his whole life. And that counts for something too."
"I don't love any of this," she said.
I let her hair slip between my fingers, over my palm. Brushed it against my lips. "Yeah, that makes two of us."
Percy came running over, Bagel right behind him, and he hit the grass with a dramatic flop. He panted while Bagel licked his face. Audrey tried to scoot out of my hold but I wouldn't allow it.
I'd never brought anyone home to meet Percy. Never considered it. Not that I'd had any real opportunities. But now…well, everything about this was different. Maybe I was begging for trouble but I didn't mind the idea of my son getting attached to her. I hoped he did.
I hoped we all got attached—and soon.
"I don't know about you," Audrey started, "but I really think Bagel should meet some other dogs. It's good to go out and make friends, right?" Percy nodded vigorously. She could've asked him if he'd like a dish of sardines for lunch and it would've been the same answer. "Would you like to help me walk Bagel to the dog park?"
Percy sat up and glanced to me, his eyes comically wide. He pressed his palms to his cheeks for a long moment before springing to his feet and signing, "This is the best day of my whole forever life!"
While Percy ran wild around the yard, I brushed my lips over her ear, saying, "I think that's ayes."
chapter forty-nine
Audrey
Today's vocabulary word: squelch
I heaveda pair of twenty-pound bags of whole wheat flour onto the countertop. "And they say baking doesn't build core strength," I muttered to myself.
