“Fine,” he said firmly, placing a hand on her leg to stop her from getting up again. “Anna, your father is a complete idiot. He will disappoint you. But damn it, he’s not going to ruin your day. He doesn’t have the right to, and I won’t give him the power to, so you shouldn’t either.”
“I’ve already done that, Lucas,” she said wearily. “I feel like I’m giving my parents the power every day to make me live my life on the back burner. So that I don’t start my real life. And my mother is dead and my father isn’t here!” She sighed and rubbed her face. “You know, Jack and Dax had ice hockey,but me…it was better to live in books than in our home. I always preferred imagining a great future to existing in the present. The air around us was always so stuffy and filled with aggression and guilt. So, I have been working every day so that one day things would be different and better. But I’m still stuck, aren’t I? So, what if that was just a fantasy? What if I finally start the great future I’ve been imagining for years…and it’s a complete disappointment? Just short-term happiness again? Like always.”
Lucas pressed his lips together and shook his head stiffly. “Okay, that’s enough,” he said sharply.
Anna looked up, surprised. “Excuse me?”
“That’s enough pity for one day. It’s enough,” he repeated stonily, because someone had to tell her. “You have to stop telling yourself that you’re waiting to start your real life. There’s no right or wrong life. There’s onlylife. And you’ve been living it for twenty-seven years.”
“But…”
“No!” he replied harshly. “Just because you’re holding back, because you’ve given up on parties and serious relationships, doesn’t mean you’re not living areal life. And for the record, I think the termreal lifeincredibly shitty. Who are you to decide when a life is real and when it isn’t?”
With her mouth gaping, she stared at him. “But I’ve put my life on hold, I…”
“Youcan’tput life on hold. It’s not a fucking YouTube video. You breathed. You learned. You helped people. You met new people and argued with your brothers. You helped them reconcile. You slept with me. You fueled a little girl’s enthusiasm for becoming a doctor. Isn’t that life? Isn’t that valuable? Life isn’t about dream jobs, marriage, and parties. Life isn’t a race. Life doesn’t dictate what’s right and wrong.Wedecide that. So stop this bullshit and play a game of pool with me before we eat.”
Anna stared at him, her mouth open.
“What?” he asked brusquely. Everything he’d said was the truth! “I thought you liked my monologues. Now get up and have fun with me.”
The corners of her mouth threatened a smile. It was a barely noticeable movement, but he saw it.
“I…didn’t know you liked playing pool.”
“I don’t. But I don’t know any other way to distract you from your misery.”
She laughed. It had a surprised tone, as if she herself didn’t understand how she was capable of laughing in this situation.
“Okay,” she finally said, slowly, as she rose. “Are you good at pool?”
“Incredibly bad.”
She laughed again. “While we play, can you tell me some private details about your life?”
Now it was he who was surprised. “Wait, what?”
“Well, I feel like a huge imbalance has arisen between us today. You know a ridiculous amount about me now, but I still don’t know you.”
How the hell could she still think that?
He’d already delivered two monologues! He’d only ever done that with Melody when it came to her dental hygiene.
Lucas stood and approached her, and gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “You know me, Anna. You know more about me than Fox or Hazel. And they both think they know everything.”
She bit her lip. “I don’t know everything.”
“Nobody ever knows everything, but you know more than enough.” Too much. Actually, it was too much.
He started to walk past her toward the pool tables, but she held him back by the hand.
“Lucas?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I’m glad you’re here. Really. It was a smart decision not to leave you in the car. Thanks.”
“Yup,” he said, looking away. “Now, less talking, more playing.”
