He runs a hand through his hair, his expression pained. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to help her while also trying not to ruin us.”
My heart beats faster. “So there is anus?”
His face twists with conflict, and he groans. “Don’t get me wrong, I want there to be. I’ve never felt this way about another woman, but I don’t want to be the reason you lose your brother and I lose my family.”
Tears prick my eyes, and I dab at the corners to stop them from falling.
He stands abruptly. “Sorry for being an asshole. I’ll go. But...” He hesitates, looking at the ground. “Can I stay at yours tonight?”
The hope in his voice crushes all my resolve. “I’ll eat dinner and go home. I’ll meet you there.” I reach into my bag to grab my house keys.
He shakes his head. “I already have one.”
My mouth opens to object, but he cuts me off.
“After the kidnapping,” he explains. “I wanted to make sure I could get to you if anything happened again. I’ve never gone inside. It’s just for safety.”
That shuts me up. I reluctantly nod. “Okay.”
He gives me one of his cocky, seductive grins before walking away. Just the thought of seeing him again has me buzzing. He stops at the bar, exchanges a few words with Edward, and then leaves.
Edward returns to the table, and I immediately start apologizing. “I’m so sorry about that.”
“It’s okay,” he says with a kind smile. “I could tell the two of you needed to talk. If you don’t mind me asking, is he the reason you’re not dating?”
I press my lips together firmly. “Frankly, I don’t know what’s going on myself. While I’m undecided, it’s not fair to date anyone else.”
He smiles, and it puts me at ease. “That’s completely fine, but why aren’t you with him?”
I sigh, the weight of the situation pressing down on me. “We’re stuck between wanting to give a relationship a chance and hurting everyone around us. My brother warned the men that they couldn’t have anything to do with me. He tolerates the friendships I’ve made. He’s always wanted me to date someone outside the club. Twitch and I have always had a bond, even as friends. But when things changed and we got more involved, we kept it a secret. If my brother finds out, I could lose him. And Twitch... he could lose everything.
“My brother is big on loyalty and respect, and I don’t know how I’d cope with losing my only close relative. Being in a motorcycle club, Twitch could face worse consequences for defying the president’s orders, lying to him and the club, and then sleeping with his sister.”
Edward leans back in his chair, his expression thoughtful as he processes everything I’ve just said. “Worse, as in death... or being kicked out of the club?” he asks cautiously.
I throw a hand up. “That’s it. I don’t know. Their club is tight-knit, and no one has ever defied or done anything against the club president before. I love my brother, and I can’t see him killing someone over it, but I see him as my brother. I don’t know him as the club president.”
Edward winces, his brows furrowing “That’s a lot to carry. But it seems like Twitch has risked it all for you already. If your brother is as good as a man you make him out to be, he might surprise you and be okay with it all.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “My stubborn-ass brother? The one who’s big on respect and loyalty? I just can’t see him letting it go.”
Before Edward can respond, the waiter arrives with our enormous seafood platter. Lobster, prawns, fish, oysters, and crab are arranged beautifully on the tray. It looks and smells amazing, but my appetite is gone. I force myself to take a few bites, picking at the lobster while Edward digs in. I ask him questions about his life before he moved here, but my mind is elsewhere. I’m stuck in my thoughts, eager to see Twitch again.
“Are you all right?” Edward asks, his voice pulling me back to the present.
I blink a few times, realizing I’ve been quiet for too long. “Yes, sorry. I’m just getting tired. I might head out if that’s okay.”
He smiles warmly, his understanding nature making me feel even guiltier. “Of course. It was lovely, even with the surprise visit from your friend.” He chuckles. “But it was nice to get out and try a new restaurant.”
I stand, and so does he. I give him a big hug, trying to show how grateful I am. “Yes, it was a good night, and we should do it again... as friends.” My head is a big enough mess with Twitch; I don’t want him to get the idea I mean something more than friends.
“Of course,” he replies, his smile never faltering.
I let out a sigh of relief. He’s such a good guy. “How much was it? I’ll pay my half.”
He shakes his head with a stern look on his face. “No, no. The man always pays.”
“Thank you,” I say softly. “Have a good night.” I grab my bag and walk out the door, my heart heavy with conflicting emotions.
