I don’t want to lose Nick, not over this. Not when things are going so well.
Over the last four weeks, I’ve seen a side of him I never knew existed. One that’s loyal. Considerate. Tender, even.
Under that protective shell, Nick is a good man, and he deserves happiness. If only he’d let himself experience it.
“I considered telling you after we had sex. I wanted to tell you.” Shame burns a hole in my chest and I bite the inside of my lip. “But then the Fenton Danvers situation blew up, and I didn’t think the time was right. You were so upset. I didn’t want to add to your burden. You’ve put so much pressure on yourself with the Epos launch. It just…didn’t seem important.”
“Didn’t seem important?” he echoes, disbelief etched on his face. “Since when is honesty not important?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Irritation creeps up my spine. I count to five and try to stuff it down, to keep a cool head, but it’s a wasted effort. “Don’t put words in my mouth. You aren’t entirely innocent in this situation, either. You walk around with that big-ass chip on your shoulder, like the weight of the world rests on your back alone, but guess what? It only feels that way because you make it impossible for anyone to get close to you.”
“Are you seriously trying to pin this on me right now?”
“I’m not pinning anything on you.” My voice is shaking, but I’m just getting warmed up. “I’m merely stating the facts. And the fact is, I would’ve told you about the suggestion box and my project if I thought you could handle it. But I knew.” I jab a finger in his direction. “I knew you’d take the first opportunity you got to throw my mistake back in my face. To use it as another reason to isolate yourself and cut me out of your life because you’re scared.”
Nick stiffens, but I give no quarter. He needs to hear this and if his brothers won’t say it, I will. Because I care too damn much to sit by and watch him throw his life away, living every moment encased in fear.
“I know your life hasn’t been easy, that you’ve endured unimaginable loss, but if that’s all you focus on, it’s all you’ll ever know.” I swallow, tears stinging my eyes. “I’m sorry you lost your parents. And I’m sorry Ashley betrayed you. But cutting yourself off from everyone and everything isn’t the answer. You’re only punishing yourself.”
“My past has nothing to do with us.”
I smile, but there’s no joy in it. “Your past has everything to do with us, Nick. Don’t you see? Your experiences, your pain, are reflected in everything you do. In every decision you make. In your constant need for control. And until you find peace, you’ll never experience true happiness.”
“You broke. My. Trust.” He shakes his head in disgust and my heart cracks wide open.
Because with Nick Hart, there are no second chances.
“Nick—”
“From the looks of it, you have more than enough material to finish your project. You can go now.” He returns to his desk chair and when he meets my tear-filled eyes, his own are cold and flat, as if he’s flipped a switch, cutting off all emotion. “We’re done here.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Nick
It’s Friday afternoon and I’m sitting at my desk counting down the minutes until five o’clock. For the first time in my life, I plan to be out the door with the masses, because while last week was rough, this week’s been downright brutal. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night and my concentration is shit.
Of course, that’s probably because of Scarlett.
I can’t stop thinking about our fight. Or about her. It’s wrecking my productivity.
Focus! The Epos launch is in three days.
As is Valentine’s Day. And the social.
Fuck. How am I supposed to look her in the eye—let alone host a party with her—after the things we said to each other?
Coward.
She’d said as much during our fight.
It’s total bullshit. I am not ruled by fear. I’m cautious. I make plans. Hedge my bets. It’s not the same thing. And so what if I like to be in control? That’s probably true of every Fortune 500 CEO on the planet.
Except Miles and Beck.
Only because they’re used to deferring to me. Because they know I’ll take care of everything. That I won’t let things go sideways.
Not again.
