Against everything in me screamingnotto, I pull out my phone, my fingers moving like lightning over the keys as I type out a simple message.
Hi…
I press Send, then pause, frozen with anxiety. I don’t even know what else to say. “Didn’t mean to kiss and run, hope you’re doing well?”
I try my hardest to think of something else, but everything seems so stupid or not heartfelt enough to convey all I want to say. Luckily, Riot knows exactly what to say.
Hi, little muse…
I was worried you were gone for good.
My heart clenches painfully as I remember his expression when I shut him down. He was so hurt, so painfully, awfully devastated by my rejection. And the worst part is, I didn’twantto reject him. I want to be with Riot to explore our connection more than anything. But how?
I’m sorry I ran out like that… It was a lot, and I didn’t know how to respond.
I’m scared.
Don’t apologize, sweet girl. Never apologize for doing what's right for you.
That’s the thing… I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to run away.
Don’t toy with me, little muse.
I’m not.
I was scared, yes, but not of you or your feelings. It’s… my situation.
Your situation?
It’s hard to explain over text… Just know that everything you said, everything you shared meant the world to me. And if I’m honest, I… feel things for you too. Big things.
Well, good.
Because I'm fucking crazy about you, Eloise. You’re all that I want. The only thing I need in this shitty, fucked-up world. And I don’t think I can hide it any longer.
I want you to be mine, Eloise. And I don’t care who knows.
My heart thuds wildly in my chest, my fingers trembling over the keypad. For a moment, I wish I had a friend or a family member to talk to. I’ve never had a romantic fling before, and I don't know the first thing about it.
But this is Riot. And if I don’t take the leap now, I might never get the chance again.
I want you, too.
Four words. A universe of anxiety. I wait for two horrible, endless minutes, praying he doesn’t come to his senses and reject me now that I’ve opened up.
Fuck.
I think my heart just gave out.
You really mean it? Really, really?
I can’t help but giggle.
Yes, I really, really mean it. I’ll even pinky promise.
Well, that’s a problem. You’re not here to deliver on the promise.
Something to look forward to the next time I see you (;
