Chapter Four
Rosa exhaled slowly as Gino handed her into her small bedroom and closed the door behind them. She took a moment to try to calm her thundering heart and then turned back to face Gino. She inhaled sharply when she found him standing a lot closer to her than she expected.
His eyes narrowed, and his expression darkened. “Are we back to the part where you are scared of me again,cara?Let me guess. You didn’t approve of how I dealt with your father’s men. If violence turns your stomach so much you flinch from me every fucking minute, then perhaps we should forget about what happened early. Violence is a part of my life and you’ll see it up close and fucking personal if we’re going to spend any more time together. Fuck this. Why the hell am I explaining myself to you? It’s just not fucking worth it!”
Rosa froze, clamping down on her initial reaction of drawing into herself and shrinking back, to make herself a smaller target. She was not that woman anymore, and Gino sure as hell wasn’t Tito. She’d spent hours talking with the therapist Gavriil had sent to her, and she’d helped Rosa to see that what happened to her wasn’t her fault, and it sure as hell wasn’t something she deserved. She was a strong, independentlatinawho had herabuela’sblood flowing through her and that meant she has a voice, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to forget that ever again.
“Firstly, Gino, spending time with me is not a given, you have to earn the right to that because despite what you think, Iamworth it.” Her voice sounded strong, no sign of the tremor that had been there earlier. “I have never in my life been given the chance to make decisions for myself, but I can assure you that from now on, that is exactly what I am going to do. And that includes who I am going to spend time with, and who I am not, and assholes that go radio-silent on me for two fucking weeks might just fall into that latter category.”
She watched as a wave of guilt swept across his face. She hadn’t been aware she was going to make that point but was pleased that she had. “Secondly, I am the daughter of Eduardo Hernandez. I was raised in his compound, with the very real and violent business of drugs, guns, and human trafficking taking place everywhere I looked. You told Filipe that everything he’d ever heard about you was true. Well, the same thing can be said for my father. Do you think that what just took place downstairs was the most violent thing I have ever seen? I can assure you it doesn’t even comeclose. You, of all people, should know that.”
She was breathing heavily, her heart pounding in her chest and this time, when Gino reached out to her, a pained look on his face, she did step back. Gino stood statue-still for a moment and they simply stared at each other.
“I do know that.” Gino’s voice was so low, it was almost a whisper. “I see it every night. Every fucking night I close my eyes, and I’m in that moment once more. Rosa, please,pleaseforgive me. I didn’t mean a damn word of that bullshit. I’ll never forget what happened earlier, your taste, your mouth, your everything is etched in my mind forever. You are worth it, you are worth anything. I was just scared.”
Rosa frowned in confusion. “Of what?”
Gino let his arms drop to his side, and he exhaled sharply, his head tipping back toward the ceiling for a moment before he dropped his gaze back to hers. Only once before had she seen his expression so open, and yet so pained at the same time.
“I’m scared shitless that you will remember that I fucking failed you in that apartment and you’ll leave me.” Gino huffed a self-deprecating sound. “Not that I ever had you, but goddammit,cara, youdofeel big to me, and you were hurt right in fucking front of me, and I could do nothing. Fucking nothing! You were lying there begging me to save you and I couldn’t. Fuck!”
Gino spun toward the door, and Rosa was moving before she’d even registered it. She shifted to stand in front of him, barring the door and his exit.
“Gino, stop.” Rosa put as much demand into her tone as she could. “That’s bullshit, too. Yeah, what Tito did to me was shitty and horrible, and if I’m honest with you, I’ve had my fair share of nightmares about it, too. But I’m dealing with it. It will take time, and I’ll still need to talk to someone about it all, not just that, but the whole fucking three years I was there. But I wasn’t asking you to save me. I wasn’t!” Rosa practically shouted the last two words when she saw Gino about to object. “I was looking to you to help distance myself from what he was doing. Christ, Gino! There was no way outta that for you and me. Not in that moment, or in the moments before it. Not until your crew came for you. All I wanted was for you to survive, and maybe, just maybe, help me to do the same damn thing. Because, I-I want, I—”
Rosa stuttered to a stop, her breathing ragged, and she could hear the tears she was holding back clear in her tone. With a curse, Gino reached out and pulled her into his arms, lifting her so that her feet were off the ground. She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him in desperation.
“You did that for me, Gino,” she continued in a whisper. “You helped me to survive. That night, and at the hospital.” She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent, spicy, male, and a hint of some cologne that she found almost addicting. “You feel big to me, too, Gino. But I’ve already told you that.”
****
Gino took a deep breath. He held himself as tense as possible, desperately trying to keep the fact that he was shaking from the woman clinging to him. God, she slayed him.
“You’re shaking,” she whispered, and he had to bite back a groan at the feel of lips moving against the skin of his neck.
“Yeah.” He matched his tone to hers. “You see me like no one on this earth sees me. I’m damn sure I’m not like what you think I am, but I’m just as certain that I’m not going to fucking tell you that in case you wise up, open that door, and walk out on me. I don’t think you get what you do to me, Rosa. You fucking slay me. I don’t know which I want more. To fuck you senseless or hear you talk about me more in the hope of actually being able to live up to it.”
Rosa’s laugh had his heart swelling. “Do I get a vote?”
Gino’s heart stopped. He actually felt the damn thing slam to a halt then go into overdrive. He shifted his head back, glad when she took the hint and moved back so he could look into her face.
“You do. With me, with us, you will always get a vote.”
He held her gaze, and Gino could see every emotion as it played out in her expression. He saw slight hesitation, a nervousness that had her biting her bottom lip, but what had his body tightening and his cock standing up to attention was the arousal and desire that were more than evident.
“I’m definitely not in the mood to talk.” Rosa’s voice had dropped to a seductive tone he’d never heard her use before.
Gino wanted to shout with joy, throw her on the mattress of her queen-sized bed, and show her exactly what he’d been thinking and dreaming about since the moment he’d met her, but there was something they had to talk about first. “Rosa, everything you went through—I don’t want to do anything that might cause you any discomfort or pain of any kind. Maybe we should—”
He stopped when she pressed her fingers against his lips. “Gino, I know what you’re saying, but I know what I want. Just take your time with me, that’s all I’m asking.”
Gino could do that. He could. God, he hoped he could.
Unsure of what to say, Gino leaned in and kissed her with everything he had. He hoped she could hear what he struggled to put into words. The depth of his feelings for her, the need he had to make sure she was never scared or hurt again, but most of all, how intensely he desired her. Just as she melted against him, he thought back to the night he’d practically run from her.
Holding her tightly, he pulled back to stare down into her beautiful face. “You have to know that I want you. I want you more than I need my next breath.” Her gaze slid from his, and he knew she doubted him and it killed him that he was the reason for it. “That night two weeks ago, I couldn’t have fucked that up more if I’d tried. You offered me a gift, one that I was too chicken-shit to take.”
Rosa frowned, shaking her head slightly. “No, Gino, I threw myself at you out of the blue. I—”
