“That’s true…” I sighed, “I’m going to miss sex.”
“You’ll have sex again.” Lily rolled her eyes, “just not with someone too stupid to realize what a catch you are. Now, get to finding a lawyer.” She clapped as she spun on her heel and walked out of the room.
How the hell does someone just find a lawyer?
It didn’t take me long to realize that it was probably best to start with the lawyer who wrote up our original prenup. Grandma had hired someone in California, even though she was in North Dakota, so even if they didn’t handle divorces, they would probably know someone who did.
· · - ·?· - · ·
A quick phone call with Penelope Yang taught me that she was the definition of quirky, but she was also incredibly intelligent. It turned out the reason Gram picked her was because she handled divorces, too. She even had a letter stored from Gram for “if my granddaughter ever shows up asking for a divorce.” I wasn’t sure how to feel about how little faith Gram had in our marriage, but there was no point in being angry at someone who wasn’t here to yell at. And had been right.
By some miracle, both the lawyer and the hot tub removal crew said they were available to meet Saturday morning. Lily said she would watch the hot tub guys while I met with the lawyer, which, based on the muscles I’d seen on the three guys as I was running out the door… was a terrible hardship.
· · - ·?· - · ·
“The prenup is iron clad, if you have proof of the infidelity then it’s an open and shut case.” Penelope assured me as she shuffled through some paperwork. “Your Gram spared no expenses to make sure that you were able to walk away unscathed.”
Gram’s letter had explained that she had been married once before Grandpa. The man had been abusive, and because there wasn’t a prenup when she tried to leave him, he was able to strong-arm her into signing away her portion of the business they’d run together. A business that he sold a few years later for an absurd amount of money. Her letter explained that she liked Ben and wished us well, but that she never trusted a man until he earned that trust.
I was slightly relieved she wasn’t here to see that her trust had been wrongly placed. The thought that he had tricked that wonderful woman made me even angrier at Ben.
“I have proof, and I have a guy working on getting me more proof.” I assured her. I handed her my cell phone with the album full of NDAs open and watched as her eyebrows continued to climb into her hairline.
“You don’t need more.” She scoffed. “The man is an idiot. Some of these NDAs don’t even have his real name listed, they ‘d never hold up in front of a judge.”
“He really had legal documents written in a fake name?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah… and he had you listed as Melissa on those. How on earth would someone enforce “don’t speak to Melissa” when your name is Melanie?" She snorted and shook her head. “Ahhh, because he hired Gatti.” She slid the phone back towards me with an amused look on her face.
“Is Gatti bad?” I asked with a little frown. Ben always said he’d hired the best lawyer because he was dealing with high-profile clients.
“He’s a bottom line kind of guy. He doesn’t care what his clients are asking for as long as he gets paid. So if Ben was adamant that he didn’t want to give his legal name to some of the girls, Frank wouldn’t have fought him. He’d just bill him.”
“Oh… I wonder what other legal documents Frank Gatti has charged for that wouldn’t hold up in court?” I pondered as I tried to remember what kind of contracts Ben had said Gatti drafted for him. “Is he a good financial lawyer at least?”
Penelope stared at me, and her eyebrows furrowed.
“I don’t think so… he’s a jack of all personal disasters.” She shrugged, “I could see him drafting up financial contracts that weren’t necessarily legal.”
“Jesus…” I mumbled. Griffin was going to love this.
“I need to talk to the guy you have investigating your husband. I know you already told your husband you know about his affairs but he can’t know you met with me quite yet. I want to be fully prepared before we serve him. I don’t want to discover after he signs that he had a secret offshore account that wecould’ve gone after.” Penelope was writing on the inside flap of my folder.
“He definitely has offshore accounts.”
“Proof?” She didn’t bother looking up.
“Not yet.” I admitted.
“Alright, get proof.” She looked up at me and offered me a reassuring smile. Every bit of evidence increases the strength of your claim and might result in extra money, but we already have enough to enact the infidelity clause, so please don’t stress about this.”
I nodded and looked around her office again.
“Let’s agree to meet again in a week, if your guy can’t join us then I want to do a conference call in four days with him.” She instructed me, and I nodded. I was starting to feel like a Barbie doll in my own skin.
Now that the worst of the surprises was over, I felt like I was putting on the performance of a lifetime, and I hated it.
Soon. This will all be done soon.
