Arim stepped forward, his anger a palpable force that had the air around him warming. Surprised he could manage that with Sava’s shield in place, I refused to budge and stood my ground as he stalked me. Then that part of me that was missing — the piece of me soul caught and held by the demons — cried out from the demon plane.
I was reminded again of what I’d sacrificed for this man and realized what a terrible mistake I’d made.
“Too much Darkness for the ladies of my world, yes,” he hissed, stopping a few feet from me. “But not enough for the Ice Bitch of Malern.” Inwardly, I winced, always hating that name. “Sin Garu’s little sister certainly knows how to fuck.”
Then he tossed me over his shoulder and leaned down to grab something. As if I weighed less than nothing.
“What the hell are you doing? Put me down.”
“You want me to keep my distance?” He laughed, an ugly sound that promised retribution. “Why should I? As you so clearly stated, I’m much more like your brother than I’d thought. Do what I want with you? Why the hell not?” He carried me into the bedroom.
For the first time since I’d known him, I felt genuine fear toward the man I’d once loved with my whole heart. Just moments ago, he’d gazed at me with tenderness, and now… this.
As much as I struggled, I couldn’t free myself from his steely grip. He leaned down again, and I fought like a wildcat when I noticed what he’d picked up. A length of Dark-hide rope to match the one he’d fetched from the living room.
Once bound, I’d be helpless before him.
“Arim, stop. Let me —”
“Shut. Up.” He threw me on the bed and captured my hands. No matter how I fought, he easily tied my wrists together to the headboard behind me. Then he grabbed one flying ankle and secured it to the footboard, leaving my other leg free since he’d run out of rope.
I was breathing hard, fear and a strange excitement filling me. The fear I understood, the excitement not at all. I’d never had rough sex before and had never wanted to try it. But my fear transformed into a darker, headier feeling as I watched Arim seethe with Darkness.
As much as I wanted to be repelled by his strength, the Dark Lord within me reveled in his power and in his willingness to use it. Yet the small, innocent girl from the past grieved the loss of her once compassionate lover.
“Go ahead then. Do your worst, Light Bringer.” I couldn’t help but tense when he leaned close. I closed my eyes and lifted my chin, not wanting to appear weak while he conquered me, taking what I didn’t want to give.
My control. My self-respect. My last shreds of affection for memories of the man I’d once treasured.
Seconds ticked by. A minute passed. He did nothing.
When I opened my eyes, he was nowhere to be seen.
Chapter 12
Arim
I sat in a chair and stared at the wall, seeing nothing as I tried to calm my rage. That blue-eyed, black-haired witch was going to be the death of me. For one small, infinitesimally long second, I’d been tempted to fuck the stubborn out of her.
The thrill I’d felt made me ashamed to take my next breath, and I knew sex had ramped up the Darkness inside me. But not so much that I’d ever forget what she had once meant to me.
Seeing her tremble in fear had been more than I could bear. Excitement I could handle. I’d seen that in her eyes. But fear?
Leaving her side had been difficult when the Darkness inside me demanded I take what was mine by right. A Darkness that shouldn’t have been there but was.
I ran a weary hand over my face, humiliated Lexa knew what dwelled within me. I’d never been able to explain how I could be a Light Bringer sorcerer so filled with Light yet have such Dark needs, sexually. Though she was just as bad but would never admit it. For a Dark Lord, she had an amazing tendency to light up in bed, literally.
The women I normally sated myself with liked bondage, a mixture of pain and pleasure that gave me that thrill I lacked. For me, it was as close a substitute to the pure Darkness I had only ever touched with Lexa. Still, the pain never matched the clarity of her blessed Night.
Such a secret to hold. My family could never know. Ravyn would be appalled. My nephews would think me daft, and the Church of Illumination would serve my head on a platter. Their beloved sorcerer, Tanselm’s Guardian of Storm and Killer of Shadow, at one with Darkness? Unthinkable.
I flushed, embarrassed at such a vulnerability. But I’d always been this way. Tanselm knew who and what I was. The land accepted me. At first I’d wondered if the problems with my magic resulted from Tanselm’s rejection. Then I realized the land itself had a problem.
Lexa yelled my name, her voice gruff with anger. I ignored her. I still didn’t understand how she could get to me. After such complete bliss, feeling our shared connection, I thought we might just have begun to heal the hurt between us.
And then she’d compared me to Sin Garu? Referred to the evil as her brother?
Something about her reaction didn’t ring true. It was more than just Lexa’s avoidance about discussing Jonas. More than her odd reference to her brother, Sin Garu, a man I thought she hated more than anything.
