I agreed to meet Eleanor for dinner, but I wanted to drop my things off at The Derry House, freshen up, and mentally prepare myself.
When I went to check in, I didn’t recognize the person working at the front desk. Despite the original plumbing problem being fixed long ago, the only rental available was the honeymoon suite. I didn’t have the time or energy to try to find another accommodation, and maybe the universe didn’t think I’d been punished enough.
My heart hammered in my chest as I slipped the key into the lock, turned the knob, and slowly pushed the door open. I closed my eyes and was barely able to take a breath before I was knocked off my feet and flat on my ass.
I squealed and opened my eyes to find Tora standing over me, panting his doggy breath in my face before licking my cheek.
I was still reeling from the shock of seeing Tora when I felt a pair of strong hands wrapping around my biceps. Derek’s hands.
He helped me to my feet and once I found my footing, I couldn’t do anything but stare at him. I studied every line and curve in his face. There was no trace of the anger that had been carved in his expression that last time I saw him, only concern. His lips weremoving but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying until I could focus.
“Jasmine?” He said my name, and it sounded like it wasn’t the first time. “Jasmine, are you okay?”
It took me a few seconds to catch my breath before I could nod. It was a few more seconds before I could gain some mental clarity and realize what was happening.
I pushed Derek away and took a step back.
“Yes, I’m fine. What are you doing here?”
“I will explain everything if you come in.”
“Derek, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I shook my head and took another step back from his outstretched hands. “The things you said to me… the way we left things…”
“I know.” He sighed and dropped his hands. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to talk to me, and I deserve all of it, but all I’m asking for is a chance. If I don’t tell you how I feel…” He looked away briefly before returning his gaze to me. “I’m afraid I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
“So I’m doing this for you?” I crossed my arms over my chest. Despite my anger, the hopeless expression on Derek’s face was breaking my heart.
“No, I’m doing this for us.”
“There is no us, remember?” I glared at him.
“Yes, there is,” he responded without hesitation. “There will always be an us. No matter how much we try to fight. We are meant to be in each other’s lives, and we always will be.”
“That’s not what you said the last time we were in this apartment.”
“I know, Jasmine. I was angry and stupid. I should have listened to you. I’m sorry. I will always be sorry.”
He reached for me, and I didn’t recoil this time. I allowed him to take my hand and lead me into the apartment. He brought in the rest of my bags as I watched from a chair at the kitchen table. Tora placed his head in my lap, and I absentmindedly stroked his head. After a few minutes, Derek joined me at the table.
“Okay, I’ll listen. You only have an hour, because I have to meet Eleanor at seven for dinner, and I need to get ready.” I was working hard to make my voice as even and calm as possible, though I felt tears stinging my eyes. I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear what Derek was going to tell me.
“I might need a little more time, but,” he added at my annoyed expression, “I will take whatever I can get. Would you like something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine.” I let out a sigh. “Let’s just get this over with.”
I could immediately tell my words hurt him, and I felt the tiniest pang of guilt at causing him any pain. But it was nothing compared to the last six weeks of agony I’d experienced.
“Okay,” he began. “You were right about everything. I know that you had nothing to do with MasonCorp moving forward with your project.” I simply pursed my lips in response, the biggestI told you soin the world dancing on the tip of my tongue. I contained myself.
“You were right about us needing to trust each other and talk things through. I’ve spent the past six weeks wishing I could take back everything I said and did that day. Even if I didn’t know thenwhat I know now, it wouldn’t matter.” I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but I didn’t want to interrupt him.
“For the past thirteen years, I’ve been shutting myself off… emotionally. I couldn’t admit how much my parents’ divorce affected every aspect of my life, how it affected my relationships with people, with you. I… I like things to be organized and predictable. I always have. I like knowing what to expect. I thought I knew what my life would be like, looking to my parents and even your parents as examples. The four people who raised me turned into people I couldn’t count on. I thought I was handling that, but clearly, I wasn’t. My parents were so in love, our lives were perfect, and then everything exploded. I thought keeping myself away from the people I thought could hurt me, from people I loved… from you, would keep me safe.” He reached for my hand, engulfing it with warmth and triggering a flood of tears.
“Then this project happened, and we were forced back into each other’s lives. I realized that I couldn’t cut myself off from you. I hated it and I loved it. It made me happier than I could ever remember. It was like I’d finally regained a piece of myself that had been missing. It also scared me, because I felt like at any moment, that piece could be ripped away again. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. When I thought that it had, I…” His voice drifted away, and he shook his head. “You didn’t deserve that.”
My tears continued to flow, and I could only nod in response.
“I spoke to my father.” My head jerked up to meet his gaze. There were also tears in his eyes. “He told me the truth about the divorce and the company. He told me—”
