I know how messed up Ryder’s been since his brother died in that plane crash, so part of me just wants to ignore this rant and chalk it up to his drunken grief. The other part of me wants to defend myself against his totally insane accusations.
“I didn’t hook up with Chase, man. I wouldn’t. I’m sorry he got his heart broken, but don’t put that on me because I like dudes.”
“Then why didn’t you help him? You’re just like him and you didn’t help him. He felt so alone. You should’ve been there.” Ryder’s voice loses some of its heat as he starts to ramble.
“I would’ve if I’d known, Ryder.”
“How could you not know?”
My hand cramps from how tight I’m fisting it. “Just because I like guys doesn’t mean I have some special skill at picking out other guys who feel the same way, especially if they want to keep that private.”
“What’s up, bro?” Deacon slings an arm around Ryder’s shoulder, eyes searching the stunned faces around the table for a clue about what’s going on.
“If it wasn’t you then who was it? Who broke him and drove him away from his home? If you’ve been gay this whole time it had to be you.”
Deacon’s playful expression turns somber, as he leans his head toward Ryder and talks to him in a level tone. “Ryder, think about this man. Blake wasn’t with your brother. He isn’t who you’re mad at.”
“He has to be,” Ryder slurs. “He has to be.” He points a finger at me before spinning from Deacon’s hold and bolting for the door.
Once Ryder’s gone, all eyes turn to me. “I had no idea Chase left because of a broken heart, and I have no idea who he might’ve dated. If I’d known, I would’ve tried to help him.”
Lennon reaches across the table and takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to explain anything Blake. We all know Ryder’s in a weird place right now. He’s angry at everyone, mostly himself, and is lashing out.”
“I knew he was struggling.” I drop my head in shame. “I should’ve been there for him, but I was too wrapped up in my own stuff.”
Regardless of the things happening in my life, I should’ve been more aware of this. His brother is dead, for God’s sake, and instead of helping him through that I’ve been living my life to the fullest, working my dream job and falling in love twice over. I may not have been the one to drive Chase away, but I can’t blame Ryder for being pissed at me now.
“We all knew he was struggling, I just don’t think any of us realized how bad.” Deacon glances toward the door Ryder disappeared out of. “Drowning his feelings seemed natural given the circumstances, but maybe…” He ducks his head and rubs it awkwardly.
“Should I go after him?” I look around the table for input.
“It’s probably best if I do that. No offense.” Deacon offers me a weak smile.
“None taken.” I exhale heavily. “Go.”
No one’s in the mood to hang out after Ryder’s outburst, so we thank Axel and Lennon for the night and make our way back to my place.Ourplace.
“So,” Kane drawls as he gets comfortable sandwiched between me and Jace on the mattress. “Dothey make beds for three?”
God, I love him for trying to lighten things up.“Are you feeling crowded in my California King?”
“Not at the moment. But I’ve only stayed over once and that’s not enough time to form an opinion. I guess I could always sleep at my place if you two are bed hogs.”
Jace shoots upright, staring down at Kane with a pained expression. “You’re gonna keep your place? I was sorta thinking you’d move in with us.”
Kane’s plump little lips form a surprised ‘o.’ “It’s not too soon for that? I mean, we only just made things official.”
“Pretty sure in our circumstance there isn’t any particular roadmap to follow.” I link my fingers with his. “We’d love to have you move in, but if you want to ease into things that works, too.”
Jace is still frowning, signaling he doesn’t like that idea, but I’m determined that Kane make the call on this. We owe him that.
“I mean, employee housing is convenient and all, but it’s not really home, you know?”
“This is home,” Jace insists.
“Yeah. I kind of think it is.” He gives him a shy smile before turning to look at me. “So, a bed for three? And do we each have an assigned spot, or do we rotate? Just because I’m the smallest doesn’t mean I want to sleep bitch all the time.”
Wrapping a hand around his neck, I pull him to me and slap a lingering kiss on his lips. “I love you.” I grin. Then I lean up and do the same to Jace. I fall asleep knowing that while fate may have knocked me around a bit to get me to this place, it led me to the future I was meant to have, just like I always knew it would. And it was definitely worth the wait.
