“Yeah, but when you say the real thing, you don’t mean just inviting him to bed, you mean the three of us dating each other. That’s a lot more intense than just fucking.” His head flops back to rest on my shoulder.Shit, he’s back to feeling confused.
“I know you don’t see what I see yet, not completely,” I start, “but I think you might if you give it a try. And if I’m right, if it works between us, we’ll face the questions and the confusion people have together. I’m not saying that will make it easy, but none of us will be alone.”
Blake’s body relaxes into mine as he sighs. Picking up my hand, he threads his fingers through mine, letting them rest on his stomach. “Okay. I trust you.”
The breath I didn’t realize I was holding seeps out.Holy shit, we’re really doing this!
Chapter sixteen
Kane
The hours that normally fly by are dragging today, which I suspect is because I’m not focused on work. Instead, my mind is stuck in a loop, replaying the encounter with the two men I feel certain now know have both shared my bed.
I hope neither are the jealous, possessive type, otherwise my having slept with both of them could make living together awkward, and I wouldn’t want to come between roommates.
Roommates. Gah – how awkward is that? I’ve only indulged in sexy timestwicein the last year, but with those two guys living together they’re bound to think they’re two of many. Even though I’m not a prude, I hate the idea that they might think of me as a playboy. That’s not a reputation I want, particularly among the two men who hold a special place in my heart for the way they made me feel during our brief time together. And don’t even get me started on the fact that I’ll have to face one of those men every day at work. There’s literally no escape.
I want to kick and scream and cry over the fact that there are two people who meet my definition of the perfect guy right in front of me, yet neither of them is available. Yes, that makes me sound like someonewho’s desperate for love, and yeah—who doesn’t want to find their person. But right now, I’d settle for just avoiding the same loneliness I came here to escape, and I’m not sure how to accomplish that in a love triangle.
Alright, that might be taking things too far. One night doesn’t equal love—logically, I know that. Emotionally, I’m stuck on feeling a connection that went beyond friendship with two people that I still want and could never choose between. I’m not sure that makes friendship with either of them even possible.
My fresh start is looking more and more like a disaster waiting to happen instead of a golden opportunity, which really frosts my Cheerios, as my sister likes to say in front of her kids.
Backtracking the path I just covered–because I was so lost in thought I ended up merely walking instead of critiquing how the trail is coming together–I compare what’s on the plans to what the crew has built.
This particular section contains several switchbacks—not the hairpin turns that will be on more challenging trails—but wider curves that will encourage riders to lean the bike and utilize the outer edge of the trail to maintain speed through the turn. That means the berms need to be several feet high, and I’m not sure they’re as tall as more experienced riders would like, because the taller the berm the faster you can whip around the corner. This is a green run though, so it might work as is. I’ll have to ride it to be sure, when we’re a little further along.
“You want more dirt over here?” I lift my head to see Blake pointing at one of the turns in question. My stomach does little flips with the realization that he can read my thoughts just by looking at me.
“It crossed my mind.” I glance back at the plans in my hand to avoid getting lost in his handsome face and disguise the fact that my blush is not from the midday sun.
“Part of me wants to say we need more so I can ride this the way I want, but then I think about how it’s technically a beginner trail, and maybe shorter berms will force me to go a little slower and not terrify people trying to learn.”
It’s like he’s living inside my brain.“I’m having the same dilemma.”
“How do we decide?”
“We ride it.” I risk a quick peek in his direction, shooting my eyes back to the ground when I realize he’s staring intently at me.
“So…” The long pause has me glancing up in time to see him awkwardly rub the back of his neck. “Want to grab pizza with me and Jace, tonight?”
Of all the things he could say, that’s the last one I’m expecting to hear. “Why?”
“You’re new in town—probably haven’t met many people yet—and you once saved me from being the lonely guy at the bar. I’m trying to return the favor.”
“That was… Things are… Do you really think that’s a good idea?” I fold my lips between my teeth and hold my breath.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” He lifts his shoulder casually.
I feel my eyes roll back in my head as I exhale. “Can we not pretend you don’t know? Before I met you I…”
“Slept with Jace. Yeah, of course I know. It was written all over both your faces.”
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“No. You’re fun, you’re hot, you love biking… If anyone can understand why he was drawn to you it’s me, although—” he ducks his head to avoid my eyes “—he’s the only one who knows I can understand that. Besides you I mean.”
It takes me a second to process those words, and when I do, I’m pretty sure I don’t manage to keep my jaw from dropping open. “You’re not out.”
