“It’s not lying to say we’re attracted to each other but we have to keep that a secret since you’re not out. And it’s also not lying to say we’d like Kane to be part of that secret with us.”
“To what end?” I pace back and forth in the small entry, my nerves making me jittery. “I was working up to coming out foryou. Forus. If we add a third—I’m not sure I could ever…” I trail off.
Jace steps into my path. “First of all, you shouldn’t come out for me. Or anyone. You should do it foryouand the life you want to live.”
“But you said—”
“I said I didn’t want to wait indefinitely. You’re the one who said that was fair. If you’ve changed your mind about—”
“I haven’t,” I interrupt. “I want to give us a serious chance. I just…” My head collapses against Jace’s shoulder when he wraps me in his arms.
“We can forget I brought it up if you want. I thought you’d be relieved to know it doesn’t bother me if you still felt pulled toward Kane, but I shouldn’t have suggested you explore that when you’re still getting used to the idea of coming out.”
“You feel pulled toward him too, though, and you want to act on it. I don’t know if I have the right to tell you not to.”
Jace takes my face in his hands. “Of course you do.”
“Yeah, but…” I take a shuddering breath. “It’s like you said, the feelings don’t just go away. Is it fair of me to ask you to ignore them?”
“If that’s important to you, yes.” Jace places a chaste kiss on my forehead. “Whether it’s you and me, whether we include a third, hell even if I’m not in the picture and it’s you and someone else… You always get to have an option, and a good partner will respect it. If you’re strongly opposed to exploring things with Kane, we won’t.”
“What if I’m more scared than opposed?” It’s a struggle to meet Jace’s eyes, but I force myself to do it, breathing a little sigh of relief when I see there’s only acceptance in them.
“I’d ask what specifically you’re scared about so we can talk through it.”
“A better question is what I’m not scared about,” I snort.
“If you’re scared of everything, why would you even consider it?” Jace’s fingers find the back of my neck and gently knead the short hairs there.
“Because I’m not sure either of us can ignore the pull we feel toward Kane, and I’d rather explore that together than separately or not at all.”
“Are you sure? I feel like I’m pushing you.”
I give my head a firm shake. “You’re only being honest, for both of us. I just… You seriously think this could work? As in the three of us could be a… I don’t even know whatto call it.”
“A throuple. And yeah, I think it could. More and more people like us are doing it.”
“You’re really not bullshitting me about this?” Up until this point I was half convinced Jace was making this up. I mean,three people? That’s not normal. Intriguing, sure. But in a fantasy sort of way. Only, he’s got too many solutions for this to be strictly fantasy.
Jace takes my hand and leads me to the couch, pulling me down so I’m between his legs with my back to him. “A few years ago, I hooked up with a husband and wife.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me close. “They had a good thing going, but he was bi, and she encouraged it. They wanted another man in their life, and for a few weeks I was that man.” He pauses, waiting for me to react I think, and when I don’t he kisses my neck and continues.
“At the time, I wasn’t in a place to consider a relationship, but ever since then, I’ve been sort of fascinated by the idea that I could have the same thing one day, with the right people. What’s more right than three people who already have a connection?” Jace finds my hand and links our fingers together. “It’s different, yes. And some people might not understand it, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work. That three people can’t be every bit as happy as two. So, what do you think?”
Chapter fifteen
Jace
Fuck, Blake’s tense. I get it, sort of.
Never in my wildest dreams could I have predicted I’d wake up with a new boyfriend and end the day talking about adding another man to the mix. But that’s the thing, having two boyfriends, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend,ismy wildest dream, so it’s not freaking me out.
If I hadn’t bumped into that couple who wanted to find a third person, I might not be as open to the idea of trying to bring Kane into this. Their desire opened my eyes, and made the whole thing seem less taboo. Admittedly, a big part of that was the sex, which was amazing with three people. But what was even more amazing was the fact there was more than enough affection to go around.
There was no jealousy, no favoritism. Just an abundance of desire and emotion that I could see becoming more if I was at a place in my life where I was ready for that. The only down side was being the new person in an established couple. Not that they ever made me out to be an addition or anything, it’s just sort of hard not to think of yourself that way when they have a history and routine that didn’t involve me.
I couldn’t get fully comfortable in that setting, so I knew it could never be anything permanent since I was constantly questioning how I was supposed to fit into their rhythm. But that encounter planted the seed that under the right conditions, with the right people, a throuple could work. I never truly believed I’d find the right conditions or people myself, so the whole thing became a bit of a fantasy. With Blake and Kane, though, it feels like it could be a reality.
I lean forward, placing tiny kisses on the side of Blake’s neck as I massage his shoulders. “Talk to me,” I whisper.
