Ah, he thought as he gazed down at the chubby face of Claire, her mouth open, her thumb on the pillow close by, the night had not been quite so happy for Amy. His heart felt heavy again. Had she crept into her nurse's room for comfort, or had Nurse heard her crying perhaps and come to her? At least it was a comfort to him to know that the child was warm and safe in someone's company. He turned to leave and cursed under his breath as his foot caught and overturned a chair that stood close to the door. He stood quite still for a few seconds, but Claire appeared not to have been disturbed.
He almost collided with the nurse as he went back into Amy's room.
"Oh, my lord!" she almost shrieked. And then in a loud whisper, "I thought youwasburglars."
"I am sorry, Mrs. Cartwright," he said, closing the door into Claire's room. "I was just checking to see that the girls were safely asleep. Did you take Amy to your room, or did she go there herself?"
"My lord?" she said blankly, and looked across to Amy's empty bed.
"Amyiswith you?" he said, a note of anxiety in his voice.
She stared at him wide-eyed.
Well over half an hour of increasingly frantic searching ensued before Fairfax and Mrs. Cartwright started to look in the more unlikely places where Amy might be.
"She must have gone outside," Fairfax said, his voice beginning to sound decidedly shaky. "We will have to arouse all the servants and have the grounds searched. There is nowhere else in the house she can be. We have looked for her in all the daytime apartments and in the rooms of the other children."
"She is very fond of Miss Matthews," the nurse said doubtfully. She was dabbing at her eyes with a large handkerchief that was already half-sodden.
"We cannot wake her up at this hour," Fairfax said. "But we must. We cannot continue searching without further help. Mrs. Cartwright, will you wake Miss Matthews first, please, before we disturb anyone else? Perhaps she will have some idea about Amy's whereabouts."
He waited outside the door until Mrs. Cartwright came to look out at him, crying harder than ever.
"Here she is, my lord," she sobbed. "Bless the good Lord. She is sleeping in here with Miss Matthews."
He elbowed her aside and was inside Jane's bedchamber without a single thought to the impropriety of such an action.
Jane came fully awake as soon as the gentle knock sounded on her door, and was quite aware of the fact that she must have fallen asleep with Amy still in her arms. She sat up with a panicked feeling of guilt as soon as she saw the children's nurse entering the room with one candle lifted aloft. How unpardonable of her. The nurse must be frightened half out of her mind.
"She is here, Mrs. Cartwright," she whispered hastily. "Amy is here. She is sleeping."
But instead of rushing forward as Jane expected, the nurse turned back to the door, said something, and was almost immediately pushed to one side. And Fairfax was in her room, clad in a dressing gown, his eyes wild with anger or relief, she was not sure which.
Jane sat almost paralyzed on the bed, making no move either to get up or to coverherself. She stared stupidly. He stopped when he was close to the bed and blew through his cheeks. His eyes were on the still-sleeping form of his daughter.
"Thank God," he said. "Oh, thank God."
Then he looked at Jane, a long, narrow-eyed look. With so much to say by way of explanation, she could think of nothing to say at all.
"Mrs. Cartwright," he said quietly, turning back to the nurse, who stood inside the door, "can you carry Amy back to her bed? I don't think she will waken. I shall come to check on her in a few minutes."
The nurse bustled over to the bed and carefully picked up the child while Fairfax crossed the room to set down his candle. Amy muttered some protest, but she did not wake up. She nestled her head against the ample shoulder of Mrs. Cartwright. They left the room.
Jane was still foolishly kneeling on the bed. She could not see Fairfax' face as he came back toward her, the candle behind him. "I fell asleep," she said lamely.
She knew as soon as his hands reached for her what his face must look like. He was furiously angry. He lifted her from the bed as if she weighed nothing at all and set her on her feet in front of him.
"Did you come here deliberately to wreck my home and plague my life?" he said. The sound came from between his teeth.
"Michael," she said, "I can explain about—"
" Iam sick of your interference,'' he almost snarled at her, cutting her off in the middle of a sentence. '' Do you think I am so incapable of loving and caring for my own children that you must be forever playing mother? Interfering where you are not needed and not wanted? Do you think that no one could care for Amy tonight but you? Did you imagine that she would not be missed? And did you imagine that her nurse and I would not be sick with worry for her safety? Do you think you are the only one who cares?"
"Michael…" she said and gulped loudly.
"Be quiet, madam," he said. "How dare you come here like this and try to take my children's trust away from me and undermine my authority with them. How dare you! You would have none of me when you were given the opportunity. Yet you have inveigled your way into my home and into the hearts of children you do not want as a permanent charge. Have you given a moment's thought to their feelings when you leave here to begin your travels? Do you know what it must be like for a child to begin to feel loved and to be abandoned again? You are a selfish and an interfering woman!"
Jane stood mute before him, her eyes huge with unshed tears.
