They enteredVauxhallGardensby the river. They had gone by carriage when Jane went there with her parents. This approach was far more enthralling, the lights strung from the trees reflected in the ripples of the water, the music seeming to float out toward them. If only she could relax and ignore the presence of Viscount Fairfax.
Mr.Sedgeworthhad led her in to dinner. Fortunately Fairfax held back until they were already seated and then took Honor to a place at the opposite end of the table. It was not a great deal of consolation. There were only ten at table and the conversation was frequently general. Fortunately Honor was in high spirits and focused most of the attention onherself.
In the boat, too, Fairfax and Honor were somewhat removed from Jane andSedgeworth. But it was impossible for Jane to relax. She felt his presence as strongly as if he had a hand at her neck. She was relieved, after they had all strolled to Lord Dart's box close to the orchestra, to find that they were free to stroll or dance at their leisure. Lady Dart declared that it was too early to think of supper yet, though they must all gather later to sample the wafer-thin slices of ham and the strawberries for which the Gardens were famous. And of course they must all sit together to witness the fireworks after supper.
Fairfax took Honor to dance.Sedgeworthsuggested to Jane that they take a walk. He grinned apologetically at her as they set off.
"I am afraid I have mortally offended Fairfax," he said, "and he is punishing me by staying away from me."
"Oh?" said Jane. She had a different theory on why the viscount was avoiding their company.
"I thought that his quarrel with Miss Jamieson was one that could be mended," he explained. "So I trapped him into escorting her here tonight. Do you know the cause of that quarrel, Miss Matthews? Whatever it is, it seems that Miss Jamieson has forgiven him. She is behaving most charmingly tonight."
"No, I do not know," Jane said. She had wondered several times over the last two weeks whether Mr.Sedgeworthknew of her rejection of his friend. Clearly he did not.
"I had high hopes earlier in the Season that they would make a match of it,"Sedgeworthsaid. "She is something like his first wife, you know, though not in looks. Lady Fairfax was very blond. Perhaps it is her very similarity to his wife that makes him hesitate. I believe he loved her very dearly."
"Yes," Jane said. "I saw them together before their marriage."
"And I never did see them afterward," he said. "I was always traveling, and when I was home I did not like to intrude on a married friend. Perhaps I should not try to interfere now. But I hate to see someone I care for unhappy. And I believe Miss Jamieson has made him unhappy. He has been moping around even more in the past two weeks than when I first went to see him a few months ago."
Jane could think of nothing to say.
"However," he said cheerfully, "I cannot say that I am altogether sorry that Fairfax has decided to punish me tonight. I can think of no more pleasant way to spend an evening than wandering inVauxhallGardensalone with a lovely lady."
Jane smiled. She was unused to such gallantries from Mr.Sedgeworth. "I came here five years ago with my parents," she said, "and thought then how lovely it would be to walk here with a friend."
"And is that what you consider me?" he asked."A friend?"
She looked across at him and smiled. There was a strange tension between them that she had not felt before. "Yes," she said.
"I believe I am beginning to think of you as something more than that," he said. "In fact, Miss Matthews, I would like you to be my wife. And that was very graciously said, was it not? I assure you I am quite unused to making such offers and indeed thought never to have to learn. Until the last few weeks I had every intention of living a bachelor existence."
He stopped walking and turned to her in some embarrassment, his hand covering hers as it rested on his arm.
"Miss Matthews, do forgive me," he said. "I have said it all wrong, have I not? The truth is that I have come to rely on your friendship a great deal in the last weeks. I find myself looking forward to our meetings and thinking of you a great deal when we are not together. I have come to realize that my life and my travels are going to seem very lonely and empty without you to talk to and share my thoughts with. I want to have you with me when I travel, and show you the things I have particularly loved, and experience new places with you. You have become very important to me. Am I still making a horrid mess of this? Will you marry me?"
Jane stared. Yes, she had been expecting this, had she not, or at least suspecting that such a thing might happen? She moved her head suddenly in the direction of a noisy group of people advancing down the path on which they stood. He turned too and they strolled on until they were again almost alone.
"I have come to rely on our friendship too," she said. "I feel easy with you, relaxed. Oh, I do not know what to say, Mr.Sedgeworth. I like you and respect you and greatly enjoy your company. But I do not believe I can attach the name 'love' to my feelings for you."
"I did not use the word myself, Miss Matthews," he said. "I think perhaps we are both past the age of romance, are we not? I have a deep regard for you and the liveliness and intelligence of your mind. I believe we could have an affectionate relationship, and perhaps that is not very different from romantic love. Is there any other man that you do love?"
Jane felt her heart begin to thump. She closed her eyes for a moment. "Yes," she said finally.
"I see," he said. "And is your feeling returned? Is there any chance that you will marry this man?"
"Absolutely not, to both questions, sir," she said.
"Then marry me," he said, "and know that you will be held in my affection for as long as I live. And I will see to it that you have an interesting and a secure life. I ask only your own affection and companionship in return."
He drew her off the path to sit on a rustic bench. The sound of the music was quite faint in the distance. Light from the breeze-blown lanterns danced across the path in front of them.
"Am I pressing too hard?" he asked. "Forgive me. I want you to make a free decision. I want you to marry me because you wish it and not because I have talked you into it."
Jane looked at him, at his kindly eyes. She really did not deserve this, this one extra chance with a man as friendly and as interesting as Mr.Sedgeworth. "I would like to marry you, sir," she said. "Thank you."
His face relaxed into a broad smile of relief. "Splendid!" he said. "You have made me very happy, Miss Matthews. I shall spend my life trying to make you so. My acquaintances will not believe this. I shall be teased to the death.Especially byFairfax.I was protesting to him only a few weeks ago that I had no interest whatsoever in marriage. But then, that was before I met you. I am so very happy."
