But Miss Matthews! She must already be well past the usual age of marriage, and it could not be said that men flocked to her side. It was true that thatFafordfellow had seemed interested when he first knew her. But the man could not be described as much of a catch. He had applauded her good sense in refusing him, little suspecting that he was to join the rejected suitor soon after.
Why had she refused him? He had a great deal to offer her. He had the property and wealth that he had mentioned to her. He was reputed to be an attractive man. He was not very much older than she. He had expected her to accept him with alacrity. Was it the fact of being a second wife that bothered her? But he had never referred to Susan in her hearing. She could not possibly feel threatened by a dead woman, surely? Was it the children? Did she find objectionable the idea of bringing up another woman's offspring? But she had said she loved children. And she would certainly have some of her own.
What had she said? She had been very upset, even angry. She had accused him of not considering her as a person, of using her like a footstool or a servant. How absurd! He had offered her the Templeton name, the Fairfax title, and she felt she was being treated as a servant? Her own happiness mattered to her, she had said. Could she not be happy with him? He had never thought of himself as a particularly dull person. Susan had found him so, of course. But Miss Matthews seemed different from Susan. He had thought that she was not particularly interested in gaiety and social entertainments. He must have been mistaken in her.
Perhaps he should feel delighted to have escaped another marriage in which his wife would be discontented and hankering after the fashionable centers. He could not feel delight. He had been in London for a few weeks already, and now it appeared to have been so much waste of time. He had very sensibly dismissed the idea of courting Miss Jamieson and had carefully chosen to direct his attention toward a woman who would be more of a companion to him and mother to his children. And it had turned out that he was a poor judge of character, after all. Miss Matthews wanted more out of life than the rather quiet, domesticated one he could offer.
He should be delighted. Why, then, did he feel so irritable? Why did he feel humiliated, as if the woman had made a fool out of him? He did feel like a fool. He had always believed that he was attractive to most women. To be refused by a less-than-beautiful one was a blow to his esteem. He had not expected ever to have something in common with theFafordsof this world.
By the time he reached home, Fairfax was feeling less than kindly disposed to Jane Matthews. Almost he was persuaded that she had deliberately led him on. Was she laughing at him now? Was the woman frigid, that she could afford to turn down two offers of marriage within a few weeks? Was she one of those rare women who were contented to go through life as spinsters? Of one thing he was certain. He would see as little of her as possible in the coming weeks. In fact, he would try to arrange matters so that he would not have to see her at all.
Fairfax was looking at a newspaper whenSedgeworthjoined him for breakfast the next morning.
Sedgeworthyawned. "I should have come home with you last night," he said. "Did you go straight to bed? I accepted an invitation to supper at Jamieson's and ended up playing cards until some unholy hour this morning. On second thought, perhaps you should have stayed. You might have had yourtete-a-tetewith the little beauty after all. Young Leighton had to leave straight from the theater."
"Hm," Fairfax said, turning a page of his paper. "I was tired."
Sedgeworthchuckled and crossed to the sideboard to helphimselfto breakfast. "Sounds like sour grapes to me, Fairfax. The little chit is panting after you. Is it her fault that she has a whole army of males doing the same for her? You will not have an ounce of trouble ousting the opposition, you know?"
"And did you capture Miss Crawley as a partner for cards?" Fairfax asked, folding the paper in two so that he could more comfortably peruse the top half of the page.
"Absolutely not," his friend said with a grin. "She and Miss Jamieson settled to a noisy game ofspillikinswith the two remaining followers. Not exactly my cup of tea. No, I had Miss Matthews for a partner. We won by a comfortable margin, too. She was in unusually high spirits. She looked quite fetching, in fact."
Fairfax's lips thinned behind his paper. "I am thinking of going home," he said.
"What!"Sedgeworthexclaimed. "You mean Templeton Hall? You cannot be serious, Fairfax. After all the effort I went totodrag you here in the first place? I thought you were beginning to enjoy yourself."
"I miss the girls," Fairfax said. "You cannot understand that, can you, Sedge?" He flung down his paper beside his plate.
"A fat lot of good you were to your girls when I came upon you,"Sedgeworthsaid. "You were in an almost constant black mood and never even smiled. I thought it was agreed that you were to look around you for another wife."
"I have looked," Fairfax said bluntly, "and I am ready to go home, Sedge. Single. And it was your idea, myfriend, thatI was coming here in search of a wife. I do not believe I am ready for marriage yet."
"Is it all because the chit is not as easily accessible as you would like, Fairfax?"Sedgeworthasked in puzzlement. "I would have expected you to enjoy the challenge."
"Miss Jamieson!" Fairfax said through his teeth."Always Miss Jamieson.What makes you think I have lost my heart to that littleclothhead, Sedge? She is all beauty and no brain. She is the last female on earth I would consider for a wife."
Sedgeworthput down his knife and fork and roared with laughter. "No, really, Fairfax," he said. "You are doing it just too brown, you know.Protesting too much.You must not give up the campaign yet, old boy. At least wait until the end of next week. My sister was particularly insistent that we join her party toVauxhallGardens. She said, with some truth, that I am becoming more like a stranger than a brother. Of course, you could go home and leave me here, I suppose. But you have been insisting that I go back to Templeton Hall when you go. I have nothing else to do before setting off on my travels again when summer is over."
Fairfax sighed. "I have dragged you around to all my family's entertainments," he said. "I suppose the least I can do is stay and go to Lady Dart's Vauxhall party. I used to love the place. Plenty of quiet walks in which to steal kisses. Ah, those were the days, Sedge. But I will not stay beyond that date. I want to go home. And I do not wish to spend overmuch time at Jamieson's in the meanwhile.Fair enough?"
Sedgeworthshrugged. "As you wish," he said. "But you could always spend the time with Miss Matthews, you know. That would soon make the little beauty send her other admirers packing in haste. And you must admit the time would not be unprofitably spent.A very interesting person, Miss Matthews.Not a bad looker, either, when you stop comparing her with Miss Jamieson."
Fairfax excused himself and left the breakfast room.
Chapter Seven
The same morning, Jane was suffering a reaction from the events of the night before. Her aunt and cousin were still in bed after the late night. It had been pasttwo o'clockwhen the last of their visitors left. Jane had been very glad to have the breakfast room toherself. She was back in her room now, seated on the window seat that overlooked the street. Her knees were drawn up, her arms clasping them.
So much for her matrimonial hopes, she was thinking. She had been granted a second chance to come to London during the Season, at a time when she was beginning to resign herself to a spinster life. She had had two offers and she had refused them both. She would return home in a few weeks' time and probably never have another chance to marry. Even if she did, she was not sure she would have the heart to accept it. She would live a single life, then. She would never know the joys of marriage and motherhood.
She rested her forehead on her raised knees. Was she some kind of a fool? She had refused Mr.Fafordbecause her renewed infatuation for Viscount Fairfax had spoiled her for a loveless marriage. And yet when the impossible had happened and Fairfax himself had offered for her, she had refused him too. She had refused to marry the man she loved.
She had not been sure even when he had invited her to walk in the theater corridor exactly what her answer would be. She had expected it to be yes. She had not thought she would have the will to say no. But she had said no. He had been so sure she would accept him. He had sounded almost impatient at having to wait long enough to get past the formality of her answer. He wanted to get home to his regular life and home to his children.Almost as if it were a nuisance to have to be delayed by her.She had liked him. Since she had met him and talked to him, she had been impressed by his lack of arrogance. But last night he had appeared conceited.
Of course, he probably had good reason to be. Female heads turned in his direction wherever he went. It had been so five years ago and it was so this year. Even in the country he was probably a great favorite with the ladies. Was it surprising that such a man should have taken for granted that she would accept him?She, plain, very ordinary Jane Matthews?He had probably expected her to prostrate herself at his feet with gratitude at the unspeakable honor he was doing her.
And she had seen herself in much the same way. Ever since she had first set eyes on him she had felt inferior, as if he were so far above her that she was presuming even to raise her eyes to him. When she was eighteen she had been contented to worship from afar. It had seemed right. She had never expected to receive even one glance from him. During the five years since, she had trained herself to aim low. She was not worthy of a man like Fairfax, she had persuaded herself, even if she had not put the idea into quite those words. She had convinced herself that she was being realistic and sensible. Right up until last evening she had kept the same attitude. She had been grateful for every look and word he had spared her, stored them up for future delight.
